Puppy Update: Week 3 Progress Report

This isn't a progress report on how the PUPPY is doing so much as I suppose, what you might expect if you are to GET one of these puppy things and attempt to continue to live your life and whatnot. The PUPPY is doing fine – he's 14 weeks old and healthy and he eats a lot and he does 95 percent of his business outside and 5 percent when we are doing things like cooking dinner or giving children baths and have turned our backs. Then he does that 5 percent in the hallway or on the rug downstairs (WHY THE RUG WHEN THERE ARE MILES OF HARDWOOD FLOORS) and frankly the rug is pretty much a loss at this point, though I am strangely comforted by the fact that it was $99 at Lowe's and that even back then, I'd planned to eventually replace it. I am so glad I never bought a rug I loved. SO GLAD.

People will tell you that having a puppy is like having a newborn again, but this is wrong. You can bring your screamy newborn to Target or to Walmart or to the dentist ALL YOU LIKE. This is generally frowned upon if you have a dog, unless you are one of those people who thinks small dogs don't actually count as dogs even though THEY ARE TOTALLY STILL DOGS, so quit bringing them into Target. Also, on PRO FOR PUPPIES side, you cannot lock your infant in a crate for hours at a time. Actually, I take that back – you most certainly CAN do that, and it probably wouldn't even be all that terrible if you're as committed as I am to getting my puppy out of the crate after only two hours. Also if you stay home with them. I do not plan to lock the dog in his crate and stick around. I'm LEAVING if he's in that thing. 

So while it's nice to be able to go to Target alone (something you cannot do with an infant), the prep work involved in getting the stupid dog into the crate is a real serious pain. For starters, the dog eats THREE TIMES A DAY. Like people do, except that he also needs to evacuate his bowels about 45 minutes after he eats. THIS REQUIRES TIMING. I can't feed him and then shove him into his crate for two hours; likewise, I feel bad making him miss a meal, too. So I've got to feed him and leave enough time for him to get a little exercise and poo before I can throw him in there and set out to run an errand or two. I also have to lure him inside with treats and then try to run out of the house before he finishes chewing or he tends to alert the neighbors that he can bark loudly and for greatly prolonged periods of time. IS STRESSFUL. I always forget to put my coat on BEFORE I put him in the crate and then he sees me and starts barking and whining and OMG MAYBE I SHOULD JUST STAY HOME. (I never do.) (Sorry I'm not sorry.)

In the mornings, sometimes the chaos of two small kids getting ready for school PLUS a wild puppy who has been in a crate all night sleeping and is acting feral pushes me over the edge. I yell A LOT in the mornings, and it isn't really AT anyone so much as IN FRUSTRATION. Ideally the kids would put their clothes on while on the top bunk, because the puppy pulls EVERYTHING they put on right back off. He LOVES underwear. And it's funny to the kids but it makes me want to pull my hair out. He is VERY mouthy in the mornings because he's excited and energetic and he bites too hard too often. At breakfast the kids sit at the table and I circle and patrol, pulling the dog down when he jumps up and tries to grab their food, while I should be packing lunches and eating my OWN breakfast. Then we all get our coats on and walk to the bus stop, and while this aspect is improving with Rocket, it still requires me to pull him for a good portion of the time. For Rocket to be comfortable with our pace, it would take 20+ minutes to walk and sniff our way there. Unfortunately, we need to do it in four.

I think the solution to our problem lies in getting up and taking him for a walk before everyone is up and getting ready for school, but it still takes 45 minutes to take him on the short loop (it's like a half a mile and the majority of the time I spend coaxing him out of the neighborhood) and it's dark in the morning and this dog (LIKE MANY TODDLERS) is scared of the dark. He ain't leaving the front yard if he can't see what's out there. The earliest I could walk him is 7:30ish, and HEY, HA HA HA, that's exactly the time I need to start shoving children up on to the top bunk to change their underwear.

So it is challenging. On one hand YAY ME for not spending hardly ANY money in the month of January; on the other hand I HAVE BEEN TRAPPED IN THE HOUSE FOR ALL OF IT. And I am not getting the quality time I thought I'd be able to get – I'm spending an hour of that time teaching a dog how to walk on a leash without wigging out and then I'm usually exercising because I can't do it before the kids get up (too cold, too dark, dog barks) and I don't want to do it when everyone's home and WATCHING ME (they still make fun of me occasionally) and then add in a shower and lunch and HEY! It's PICKUP TIME and now I have to spend my last 20 minutes making the dog poop so I can lure him into the crate and leave.

There. That was a nice vent. I know the work will pay off, and it IS starting to feel more normal and I AM figuring out ways to cope but HOLY YOU KNOW WHAT, a puppy is no fricking joke. Let's end on a good note – he does sleep all night in his crate without whining or crying and he is very relaxed in the early afternoons and late evenings, which means Lucy and I can play on the floor without him eating toys for a good portion of the afternoon, and Dave and I can watch television in peace after dinner. BUT THAT'S IT.

Comments

[Jen]

Man, dogs are a crap load of WORK. I kind of dread the day that my girls start asking for one.

Also, I know nothing about dogs, but my sister (who had TWO English Mastiffs - altogether 300 pounds of mushy, drooly pups) swore by filling a kong with some peanut butter to give her enough time to get out of the house.

[HereWeGoAJen]

Puppies suck! Hang in there, you can make it.

[craftyashley]

Our dogs prefer to void themselves on rugs as well. I think it has something to do with it feeling more like grass or something? Not that the dogs DON'T pee on our hardwoods because YES! They do! They would just "prefer" some cushion underneath their paws for comfort. Have you tried pee pads? When it rains here (and the dogs have ruled that rain means they do not go outside at. all. I put a pee pad down by their pen and then it's a 50/50 shot they keep it on the pad.

[Bren]

We are going through this right now too - and it was MY idea to get the dog! Mix in 2 cats who are not too keen on the dog, 2 kids who dawdle enough as it is and trying to work from home has seriously exhausted me! I know by summer it will be easier - she will be better trained, blah blah, but for now it is hard!

[jean]

I don't think I've ever commented, although I'm a long-time reader. The puppy woes just got to me. My daughter is nearly 24 years old and launched but our puppy is 14 MONTHS and so this rant is much closer to my heart.

This puppy is our fourth over 30 years and we've learned a couple of tricks that may help.

Congrats on the crate. That will be a lifesaver over the years.
And, that Kong thing--use it! Buy two, put in 2-3 TBL of smooth PB and stash them both in the freezer. Refill when he's done so there's always a frozen one ready. Only let him have it in the crate.

For the crate, try to catch him when he's not whining or scratching before you let him out and praise him for being quiet. I know, it's hard but it only takes a couple of times before they get it. Ours will now wait through everyone getting ready and leaving the house and THEN I let him out for breakfast.

Try to catch him being good--on the leash, at breakfast, etc. and praise, praise, praise. Also, I still keep small (bitsy really) training treats in every pocket. The dogs quickly learn that when I reach for my pocket, something good is about to happen and they zero in on me like now. It makes grabbing attention his attention that's so hard at this stage a little easier.

And, check with your vet. You may be able to cut down to two meals a day soon.

Good luck, it'll get tons better after it gets only a little worse!

[Lora]

Not to sound rude, but what is your reason for feeding the puppy 3 times a day? It's been my understanding that a morning feed and an evening feed is sufficient.

I just think this would free up some of your time. Not waiting around that extra 45 min, think of how much more you would get done in a week! That time really adds up. 45 min of you time is 45 min. Take it back from the puppy ;)

Puppies are a CRAZY amount of work. Good thing they're cute, because that's about all they have going for them at this stage.

[Jesabes]

This is exhibit one in my "we're never getting a dog" slide show. (I'm a cat person.)

[Jen (SaitoAbroad)]

Jean has great advice! I'll also toss in a few ideas that really made my life easier too.

We taught the dog to not be in the dining room or kitchen when we were eating meals. This just made the dining process SO MUCH CALMER.

Another idea is to not let your dog eat until you give the command. It just helps establish who is the boss in the household.

Sounds like things are really coming along! Good luck and enjoy :)

[Hillary]

Emily, Mike and I nearly divorced one night because of the dog and tar-like sludge she'd puked up and children who couldn't stay in the house as I had asked and instead got mud and poop all over their socks and his inability to just bring dinner home for the love of god.

What I'm saying is: I get it.

Our puppy is now just short of 18 months old. She still licks the kids' bottoms if they don't get their underwear on fast enough, but she's much more lovable.

[Tamara M.]

Soooooo I will be rethinking the lets get a puppy idea. Maybe in the summer when there isn't a time crunch in the morning and we can stick around the house if needed... Thank you for being my guinea pig :)

p.s. thanks for coming back to blogland. you were missed.

[Alison]

Oh, puppies - they are SO hard.

I finally figured out that if I covered my dog crate, he couldn't see what I was doing, and then didn't bark or whine, when he saw something he didn't like! I keep the door open, but cover the other sides unless he's being a nut, and then occasionally, I'll cover the whole thing, and he starts to snore in like under 5 minutes.

Plus, with 3 sides covered, it makes the crate dark and safe, and den-like, which dogs tend to enjoy - but they can still see out.

I also fed mine in his crate, which was handy, when the people were eating.

Also - KONGS - excellent! Mine is not a PB fan, so I line them with cream cheese and chopped turkey dogs, and freeze them. Other good chew toys: Bully Sticks, Antlers, Yak Chews.

And finally, the occasional trip to "Doggie Daycare". Once vaccinated, he can go and learn to play and be social with other doggies, and race around like an idiot for hours on end, and then come home and be SO DAMN TIRED, he'll sleep for 2 days.

And that, my friend, is my unsolicited input on puppies.

Oh! Except this website, and free e-books: http://www.dogstardaily.com/free-downloads which I found SO lovely. It's how I taught mine to have a super-soft mouth, and other key things.

I think that's it...

[Susie]

I just wish Rocket would be nice all day and then a jerk in the evenings, so Dave would have to deal with it. But I'm a jerk all day long, and a cat person to boot, so what do I know?

Seriously though, you are handling this puppy thing with an impressive amount of grace. I hope Rocket turns into an awesome, well trained dog very soon.

[Kristin]

Can you make your husband do a morning walk before he leaves? That was my lifesaver when my dog was a puppy.

[Flinkpike]

Oh dear, I am trembling as I read this...we are getting a puppy in 6 weeks after much hesitation, consideration, and excitement....it's time! But I am the only realistic one- and will be the primary caretaker in addition to my 3 school age children...my husband is a huge help for the mornings...but I am going to be looking at all your dog posts/comments for tips and encouragement.... Your dog is cute at least!!