About that puppy thing.

So isn't it nice that Rocket is such a cute and lovable puppy? Not that there are a lot of UNcute puppies in the world, or anything, but it's especially nice that Rocket turned out to be cute and lovable and charming because HA HA HA, I WAS NOT PART OF THIS DECISION PROCESS AT ALL.

Rocket was a True Christmas Surprise. He was chosen and purchased without my knowledge or consent, and showed up Christmas morning in a big box wearing a big red bow. That means Dave is a lucky, lucky, LUCKY FREAKING GUY, because – well, really, do I have to spell it out here? If I was regretful of or angry about Rocket's arrival it could be understood. Suddenly I am the primary caretaker for a BABY ANIMAL, as well as two small children, and without giving my consent or being given ANY time to prepare for such a change. I mean, this is STRESSFUL STUFF, adding a time-consuming PUPPY to a family, especially when the burden of care falls to the one person WHO DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT BEFOREHAND. And when that person has never cared for a puppy before in her WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE.

But I am SO GLAD we have a dog. I am so glad the kids are being raised with a puppy who will grow with them and accept them (as Hambone never did); I am so happy that in a few more months I'll have a running partner and a reason to get out of the house on summer evenings for one more walk around the block. I remember how much happiness Hambone brought me, even though he was weird and quirky and sensitive and neurotic.

And then again, sometimes I am SO ANNOYED that we have a dog. I want to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I REALLY DO, but before we can get to the Companionship part of this relationship, you know, with the lying at the feet of the master and the bringing of the slippers and gentle handling of the newspaper, we have to go through this puppy hell, where everything we own has tooth marks in it and the floors are cleaner than they've ever been because we've mopped pee off of every inch of them and we're getting up in the middle of the night for potty breaks and praying whenever we leave the house that he doesn't cry and bark the entire time we're gone and make the neighbors want to kill us. It's kiiiiiiiind of stressful.

Ok, so it's REALLY REALLY stressful. The mornings are hardest right now, trying to make sure the kids get fed and dressed while also making sure the puppy doesn't take a dump on the carpet, and trying to get my feet through my pant legs without a puppy trying to pull my pants RIGHT BACK OFF. I can't use the bathroom without a puppy breaking in and eating a roll of toilet paper. Breakfast used to be eaten on the coffee table in front of a show, but the puppy can grab things off the coffee table so the kids have to eat in the kitchen now.

And then even once the kids are at school, everything I try to do at home looks like a Big! Fun! Puppy! Game!, like folding laundry (LOOK AT TOWEL SWINGING AROUND LIKE BIG TERRYCLOTH TUG OF WAR) or loading the dishwasher (YOU REALLY NOT GOING TO EAT THOSE FOOD PARTICLES?) or dusting the coffee table (SWIFFER LOOKS LIKE DELICIOUS SQUIRREL TAIL). Also, the dog will not go on walks. I know you think I am making this up because what kind of dog doesn't want to go on a walk?! But mine does not, he walks outside with enthusiasm and then just... sits. I have to CARRY him out of the neighborhood, and then sometimes he will go along with me TIMIDLY, but most of the time it takes us about an hour (AN HOUR) to go .6 miles. POINT SIX MILES, you guys. It is mentally draining.

But you know? I am trying to make this work. I am killing myself with optimism. Yes, it's stressful and there's more yelling and frustration and we can't leave toys out anywhere but the kitchen table. BUT! We have SUPER clean floors! We are sitting together for breakfast now and the kids want to turn that time into a morning devotional time, something I've never considered before now (and something I've decided I love). And if there was ever a time of the year to get a puppy, January is IDEAL for me – there's nothing really going on; I've got time to commit to this endeavor. And hopefully by summer things will be falling into place. So while I cannot recommend a puppy at this point in time, I am hoping that – MUCH LIKE NEWBORNS – they eventually turn into the kinds of decisions we are happy we made. I will let you know.

Now: More pictures that will make you forget everything I just wrote. YOU PEOPLE ARE SO WEAK.

Comments

[Tammi Whittaker]

Try & remember he was a barn puppy, he's not used to the traffic etc.,give him a little more time. Want to borrow our crate? Would be happy to meet you 1/2 way in Baltimore!

He is soooo freaking cute.

[Swistle]

Dave is indeed very lucky. And I hope it ends up that he is beyond lucky and the dog is wonderful beyond compare in the long run.

[TUWABVB]

Our recent adoptee wasn't a puppy per se (rescue group estimated her age at 1-1.5), but I completely understand where you are coming from...the first few months are so hard. So much damage, so much lost patience - we had chewed up furniture, walls, siding - it was the first time (and I've had four dogs over my lifetime) that I actually used a crate. BUT, I promise - it WILL get better - we no longer use a crate, Maggie has been a perfect dog for months now and the training will pay off. I promise.

I think the only reason puppies are still in existence is because they are so damn cute. Good luck honey!

[Beret]

Rocket is adorable!

Not that you asked (heh) for any advice, but I have SO BEEN in puppy hell before. We decided to get a black lab puppy when my kids were 6 and 2. Yeah.

Crate training saved my sanity. Griffin (our pup) was crated whenever I couldn't be RIGHT THERE to make sure he wasn't peeing, chewing, or attacking (playfully) one of the kids. I am a SAHM so there were plenty of play breaks and out of the crate time. A half hour in the crate, out to pee/poop, half hour of supervised play, then back in the crate. Lather, rinse, repeat until bedtime where he slept in his crate all night (after 4 nights of cry-it-out training, I kid you not).

A large Kong toy filled with soft dog food and frozen will buy you some free time.

Tie a bell to your door and every time you go out have Rocket ring it with his paw and say "out". This will help him know where to go and help him signal you. I swear this works!

I was mystified why my puppy didn't want to go on walks. We had to DRAG him down the block, but he'd happily run home. I learned that is totally normal for puppies, they like to stay close to home especially a NEW home. Griffin out grew that, I bet Rocket will too.

Best of luck, there were a few very bad spells where I cried to my husband that I wanted to take Griff back and what the hell did we do and why can't I have a moments peace, etc. People told me the training would pay off, that the puppy days would become a distant memory and wow, it's true. My wonderful 5 year old Griffin is asleep at my feet as I type and is as good as gold and so easy. That said, we will NEVER get a puppy again. Our second dog was adopted 9 months ago at 5 years old, much much easier that way! :)

Keep the pictures of Rocket coming, he's really a great looking dog.

[PinkieBling]

Puppies are so adorable and awesome. They are also a giant PITA. I highly recommend Cesar Milan's books/DVDs, especially with a high energy breed, and especially since it's your first time raising and training a puppy.

I, too, ask that you keep the pictures coming. :)

[Megan]

Yes, Dave is VERY lucky. I'm sure it will all work out, and like three years (or even a few months) from now you'll look back at the puppy phase and it will really not seem like a big deal.

[Holly]

Oh I feel you on this, Emily, and you definitely get a medal. Preferably made out of diamonds from Dave. (Or you know, fun Target jewelry...either/or!) We had a period of time when we were trying to figure out what Buster could eat (he has lots of food allergies apparently, who knew? Well besides us when we were running him outside 15 times per night those first few weeks) where I was like: WE WILL NEVER HAVE CHILDREN.

This too shall pass. But the cuteness, luckily, will remain. So excited for you guys. (And for Rocket, he's a lucky pup!)

[A'Dell]

I am thinking this is how dog strollers happen; puppies that refuse to be walked and then get used to being strolled.

Don't be a dog stroller lady, Emily! Resist!

[Hillary]

I can't believe Dave got that puppy without asking. How magical! How completely infuriating! You are a very good woman.

If you ever want to commiserate about puppies, let me know. Our "puppy" is not quite 18 months old and just now, sometimes, maybe, almost getting to be a good dog. I had raised a puppy before and the kids were pretty settled and I thought I knew what I was getting into, but I severely underestimated the amount of work a puppy is when your life already is full. It's a lot.

[Lauren]

David is SO, SO lucky that you're being so great about surprise puppy. Wow.

But the thing in this entire post that is making my heart go pitter-pat is that your kids now want to do a morning devotional at breakfast. That's just so wonderful!

[Beth]

We got a puppy in June when my kids were 3mo, 1 and 3. Yeeps.

I know you're worried about him now annoying the neighbors, but please, please leave him for at least a short time every day. I'm a sAHM and we don't leave very often and are now paying the price for that with some separation anxiety. It is much worse in an older dog than a puppy.

He's so cute! And you are a saint for not making your husband move out at least for a short time for that particular surprise.

[Lissa]

My pearls of wisdom from working in the veterinary field:

1. He may be "better" by 6-8mo old, but he will not be a "real dog" until he's at least 1-2yo. His level of betterness will directly correlate to the amount and consistency of training you give him NOW.

2. Crate train that puppy! Every. Single. Dog. should be crate trained. It doesn't mean they need to spend the majority of their days locked up or even have to use their crates for the rest of their lives. But it gives them their "own" space/cave that they like to retreat to sometimes, and it gets them out of your/the kid's hair when needed, it helps IMMENSELY with house-breaking, and it allows them to not go insane during travel/boarding/veterinary stays when they HAVE to be kennelled.

3. Once he has all of his vaccines, make sure to get him into a puppy/socialization/obedience class. This will help you & the kids learn how to train him properly and help him learn how to be a normal, well-adjusted dog.

Good luck!

[April]

That is possibly the cutest dog ever, but I would kill my husband if he sprung that on me. Thankfully, it's more likely that I would be springing an animal on my husband than Vice versa.

But so cute. I'd call him Rocket Dog, always. Except when I called him "that damn dog".

[Shauna]

I have absolutely no advice since I've only had adult dogs, but basically yup, I sympathized until you posted that picture. The one with him sitting on the green bean bag? That puppy is an angel, and I don't believe a word you said!

[Kelly]

Ditto the crate training and talk to your vet about what age is appropriate to take your dog running with you.

I seem to remember (from when I volunteered at the Washington Humane Shelter) that running shouldn't happen until 1 year old or when joints etc are well enough formed.

We loved the Dog Training for Dummies book we bought, and it worked for the most part, but like others, our rescue was estimated to be 1 year old when we brought her home.

Then again, our second rescue is still not totally house trained at 3 years - and we've tried everything!

[HereWeGoAJen]

I kind of hate puppies. As someone who had two puppies that (eventually) turned into dogs.

But you are right, those pictures made me forget EVERYTHING about puppies. So cute! Watching tv with Lucy! MORE PUPPIES!

[H]

You have lots of excellent advice here but I do want to add my vote for leaving him and socializing him with other dogs. Our current dog is a rescue. He arrived with separation anxiety and I discovered that because I work at home his anxiety has not improved, and probably got worse. We're now bringing him to a doggy daycare periodically (they often have half day rates) and he also stays there when we need to kennel him. He loves to go there! Also, leave him at home periodically, as someone else mentioned above, so he gets used to being alone at home and realizes you always come back.

He is so cute!!!!

[Jen]

I did NOT KNOW that you weren't in on this decision and can I just say that you are a freaking SAINT? I would... I would kill Dan. OMG. !

But you are right- eventually, very soon, you'll get through the horrific puppy stage (I've never had a puppy or even a dog because I cannot even IMAGINE dealing with this stage, give me a newborn any day and I very much dislike most of the newborn stage of babies!) and he'll be the awesome companion you're looking to have for you and the kids :) He IS darn adorable!!

[Slim]

I am the sort of person who would just plain melt at the sight of a puppy, even if I wasn't in on the decision-making. Because PUPPY!

Your life clearly includes tons of time for reading all sorts of books, so I would recommend, as an antidote for the Cesar Milan, James Bradshaw, summarized here:
https://www.patriciamcconnell.com/theotherendoftheleash/a-new-book-dog-sense-by-john-bradshaw

Also, you can hear John Bradshaw on Fresh Air, while you wait for Rocket to decide to walk:
http://www.npr.org/2011/05/26/136497064/the-new-science-of-understanding-dog-behavior

[NGS]

Giving animals as gifts is always a bad idea. I mean, I'm glad it worked out and Rocket is ADORABLE (adorable! so cute! I want to snuggle!), but it's such a losing proposition. What if you really, really, really didn't like him?! Argh.

But, seriously. He's adorable. You lucky girl.

[Elsha]

Twice during my childhood my father purchased animals without telling my mother in advance. Once it was rabbits, once it was rats. (Both times it was for my animal loving brother.) As a kid I thought it wasn't a big deal that she didn't know, I mean, my dad was an adult and he could make that choice, right?

Now? As a wife & mother? I would KILL Brian if he did something like that. I'm pretty impressed that you haven't killed Dave.

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[Jen]

I don't even KNOW what I would DO if a puppy showed up under our Christmas tree without my knowledge! I think you have officially earned your Best Wife Ever badge. I have to say that I love that Dave wanted to surprise you all, though. I find that part really sweet and fun.

[Courtney Tucker]

I can TOTALLY relate to this story and how you're feeling. Santa brought us a kitten and we are having a bit of a SAGA with that too. http://aisforbeautiful.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-lego-saga.html