You wanna see a bad dye job?

The last few weeks have been a TOTAL WHIRLWIND. Remember how I told you I was, uh, doing some (very poor) ACTING? It was in a production at my church and we did it for five nights in a row, not to mention the numerous rehearsals and practices and basically Dave and I spent the entire week before Easter juggling who had the kids and when and whether the other person already fed them and where was the other OTHER person supposed to pick them up and at what time and then he did six or seven bedtime routines all by himself while I was performing every night. “Performing,” I realize, makes it sound like it was grueling work (or that perhaps I have some kind of talent, which I do NOT), but it was mostly fun, and I met some really awesome people that I got to hang out with for five hours a night, all while Dave wrangled the kids alone so that I could be a part of it. (Dave is awesome.) Of course, as soon as it was over and we'd spent three days joyfully recuperating and seeing each other for what felt like the first time in a month is when I casually announced that, uh, oh! I kind of... joined a softball team?

YOU GUYS, HIS HEAD DID NOT EVEN EXPLODE. He just said, oh, that sounds fun, are your games on weekends or weeknights?

THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED. I married the most awesome guy ever. If you are in the market for a husband, might I suggest you get the kind who would rather sit in the house when he comes home from work than go out and do anything? Because he doesn't care if YOU go out and do something, as long as HE gets to stay home and do NOTHING and that is working out JUST PERFECTLY for me, the person who has spent the last five years pretty much only interacting with people who cry if yogurt gets on their placemats and I am kind of... how do you say this?... STARVED FOR ADULT INTERACTION. Once I got a taste of it, I was all, LET'S DO MORE OF THIS, AND SOON.

In other news, I posted about my Terrible Hair Dye Experience on Style Lush last week. (I'll give you a moment to catch up.) I went back to my stylist on Monday in hopes of getting a haircut and having her do something to even out the patchy sections of my hair (there were just a few darker sections and they weren't noticeable, but they EXISTED, which was annoying) and WHAT DO YOU KNOW, I walked back out with hair EVEN BLACKER THAN IT HAD BEEN THE WEEK BEFORE. And as I walked out I was thinking that it was black again, but was also trying desperately to convince myself that maybe it was just the lighting in the salon and that it would look better in the car/at home/after I'd washed it 34,000 times but it did not, it absolutely DID NOT, and there I was, stuck in the same situation as I'd been exactly one week early and then I got diarrhea because IT IS STRESSFUL, having black hair when you don't WANT BLACK HAIR. This was black hair that was bordering on BLUE HAIR, you guys. Try to ignore the hideous, stressy, baggy-eyed look on my face and focus on the hair. THE HAIR.

Supposed to look like (hi pseudostoops!):

Actually looked like (OMG you guys, TRY NOT TO FREAK OUT):

And Dave was all, just go back to the salon and have them fix it (because I PAID for black hair) and while I know that's the RIGHT thing to do and that they would have tried to fix it, I kept thinking that not only did I not want to go back to a salon and sit in a chair for 2.5 more hours, I also did not exactly trust anyone to re-fix a fix. You know? I asked you to FIX something that I myself broke, and instead you BROKE IT ALL OVER AGAIN, so no thanks to sitting back in your chair and becoming an experiment to fix a refix of a FIX, OMG. So I had to take the dye out again, at home, with a drugstore product, WHILE HAVING NERVOUS TUMMY DIARRHEA, because THIS KIND OF THING IS STRESSFUL. And I'm lucky, I know how very lucky I am, to have really healthy hair that tolerated two terrible dye jobs and two chemical removals in a week. My hair is not... well, it's not PERFECT or anything, but it is way closer to my natural color again, which is all I wanted the first time I tried to dye it and failed. (This is me, looking on the bright side.)

And in the wake of this terrible tumultuous time in my Personal Vanity, I cannot even think about the next time I need to get my hair cut, as it results in me feeling like I might vomit.

Let's make up for my own Personal Vanity Issues with photos of my Easter-clad children, who really outdid themselves this year.

Comments

[Jessica]

You poor thing! That is some BLACK hair. I understand not going back to them, although you would be well within your rights to do so AND have a different person fix it for you.

[Erica]

I also just joined a softball team. Adult interaction!

[Kape]

I love your hair wavy! It is so pretty! But that is very blue-black hair. I think you should just ask for your money back and call it a day.

FYI: this happened to me before. We have almost the exact same shade of brown hair and the first time I had it professionally colored, it turned out black as night. I called the owner of the salon crying. He treated me at no cost over FOUR appointments before it returned to its natural color. I gratefully accepted this and then never visited that salon again.

Good luck!

[HereWeGoAJen]

This is one of the main reasons I do not dye my hair. I know I would mess it up. And when I find out that professionals can mess it up, I am horrified! However, I am getting rather gray, so soon I will have to make a decision.

[Sarah Lena]

Oh. Oh, that is some Kate Beckinsale, Underworld black hair. But you know what? She's pretty hot in that movie. So. WAH all you want; YOU LOOK LIKE KATE BECKINSALE.

Also, I'm not even sure that's her name.

(But you look hot, is what I'm saying here.)

[Swistle]

I remember when my cousin did her hair black, and she was like "IT IS SO AWFUL I CANNOT EVEN SHOW YOU A PICTURE," and I was all, "Oh, come on, it can't be all that bad---black is just, like, darker than brown, that's all!," and then she sent a picture and I was like, "...Oh. I see. Black. I see now. No, I get it. I'm sympathetic now."

Your photo looks like it's great on you, but from the yellow tint of your skin I'm guessing the light isn't right and I would have the same sympathetic reaction as I did to my cousin's.

[Carrisa]

I'm having a hard time understanding how your stylist didn't realize that she had given you darker hair when you went in to get your normal hair back. She should have offered to fix it right then. I'm glad it's almost back to normal color now. Now let's go buy some Sun In and go swimming yes?

[Mama Bub]

Like Carissa, I don't really understand how your stylist sent you out the door, KNOWING that you were coming in to correct an already problematic hair color situation.

Still, those are some CUTE kids and I'm glad your color is back to normal. I'm now having flashbacks to the time I ended up with black eyebrows (and red hair and pasty white skin.)

[Holly]

So this one time, when I lived in LA I let a hairdresser do something "a little Avant Garde" with my haircut + color. Wouldn't ya know, it turned out terrible! Bet ya didn't see that coming. (Sigh...I was 21 and working in a coffee shop. Avant Garde sounded cool.)

She gave me a pixie cut with some long emo bangs in the front and the basically used peroxide to give me a permanent yarmulke on the back my head. It was supposed to turn white, but instead it just turned that awful orange color.

And the most horrible part was that for the entire two weeks that I had to live with that peroxide yarmulke on my head (TWO WEEKS: THIS IS AN ETERNITY WITH A BAD DYE JOB) people kept saying to me "Oh. WOW. You got new hair. Hrrrrm...How do YOU like it?" with these sad little confused expressions on their face.

Bad dye jobs are traumatic. I might be having a little PTSD right now, Emily. :) Glad you are back to hair you are more comfortable with! Although I have to say, if your day job was as a superhero, you would rock the heck out of that blue black hair.

[Andrea]

I really messed up my (naturally blonde) hair doing some at-home highlights last summer. It was terrible!

On a side note if you're looking for someone, Felycia at PR at Partners in Shirlington is amazing. I still drive up there after moving to Stafford. (After learning the hard way and having her fix the mess a Fredericksburg stylist made!)

[Elsha]

WHOA. That is some dark hair.

Also, your kids are adorable!

[Megan]

I have been finding gray hairs at every turn, but after reading this post I just might live with them instead of coloring them!

[A'Dell]

This is making me frightened to start dyeing my hair when I get a critical mass of grays. Very, very frightened.

Asher looks like such a YOUNG MAN! So handsome.

[Slim]

Going back to the salon that gave you color you don't like twice, just because they owe you, seems like giving the wrong answer to "Do you want to be right or be happy?"

I am in the process of growing out my gray, and I am almost done, and I want to tell everyone never ever ever to dye to cover gray, because it is horrible. Dyeing To get a snappy new haircolor, fine. But not for gray.

PS Are you sure your new teammates don't cry if they get yogurt on their placemats? I bet at least one of them does. And they're probably not nearly as charming as Asher and Lucy.

[Manda]

Holy hair dye, Batman! That is BLACK! I have been having similar woes lately!! My last haircut was really, really bad. I don't want to go back to the stylist who did it for a trim because I am now trying to grow my hair out. Unfortunately, FOR AMERICA, my hair looks horrendous right now and cannot be hidden. Too short for a ponytail!

[Laura]

Really like the blog, appreciate the share!

[Danielle]

Oh wow, do I feel your pain!! I had a bad experience with platinum blonde (I have black eyebrows, btw) and when I had it "fixed" they turned it pool green. Long story short, to remove unwanted hair dye: add crushed vitamin C tablets to clarifying shampoo, add it to damp hair, form a lather, cover with a cap (or saran wrap) and wash after 20 minutes or so. This strips out color and should lighten the black hair. If you get enough out you will have more success with another color job.