We went out of town last weekend, just the kids and I (along with my mom) to visit my relatives in West Virginia and to see my cousin get married. Amazingly, traveling with Asher and Lucy is pretty much a non-issue – even when we're talking five, six, seven... as many as eight straight hours in a car. They love staying with my grandparents, they love the excitement of packing their stuff and riding in the car with their stuffed animals and pillows, and they particularly love the fact that I just DO NOT CARE HOW MANY MOVIES THEY WATCH IN THE TIME IT TAKES US TO GET THERE.
I do not. I do not care! Oh, so I OCCASIONALLY care, like when they want to start a new movie and we're .05 miles from stopping for lunch or our destination and would then have to switch the movie OFF in the MIDDLE, OH HEAVENS NO, but otherwise, I JUST DO NOT. Listen, when they're older, I'm happy to encourage a rousing rendition of the License Plate Game or Car Bingo, but first they have to develop the ability to read, and then to actually find whatever it is I'm pointing out to them outside the vehicle. I swear, we could be driving next to a two-mile long FREIGHT TRAIN, and Lucy would continue to insist that she was unable to see it. THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED.
We drove past a field – A WHOLE ENORMOUS FIELD – absolutely PACKED with VERY VISIBLE cows, and she insists, “But I don't SEEEEE THEM!” And then she cries, because she didn't see the cows, and it's not like we can just back the car up on the interstate to give her a second look, and WHY DID WE MENTION THE COWS ANYWAY. It took me a long time to catch on that I just couldn't point anything out to my children while we're driving. Like, at all. Nothing. No matter HOW EXCITING something is, I have to make an honest guess whether or not they'll be able to locate it before we pass it, and most of the time I have to hold my tongue. This is a hard, HARD lesson to learn, but I've mostly mastered it. My mother... not so much. By the end of the trip she was starting to catch on, but first the kids had to cry over missing the chance to see waterfalls, horses running, rain clouds, and two airplanes sitting by the side of the road.
AIRPLANES. SITTING BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. They totally missed them, you guys. (AIRPLANES.)
Anyway, so the trip was uneventful (last time we traveled to WV involved this), and seeing my cousin get married was wonderful. The wedding was small and casual, and the reception was held in the basement of the church. But even though it was casual and laid-back and simple, even though my kids were running freely inside and out and joining in whiffle ball games and eating chocolate cupcakes and candy and smearing it all over their nice clothes, it was NOT AT ALL CASUAL ENOUGH for my daughter to bang on the door of the one-person bathroom REPEATEDLY while I was inside it, yelling, “MOM! MOM! DON'T FORGET TO WIPE! DON'T FORGET, OKAY? DON'T! FORGET! TO! WIPE!”
OMG, you guys. She only LOOKS innocent.
Also, HELP ME, but I want another one JUST LIKE HER.