Blogging gets a little weird for me lately. I suppose this is just how it is when your kids get to a certain age and you've spent the last six years writing mostly about them. My kids are wonderful and amazing and fantastic, but now that they're five and three and hold their own silverware and sleep through the night and use the toilet JUST LIKE ADULTS DO, so there's so much less minutiae to focus on or complain about or worry over. We get up in the morning and eat breakfast, we run errands and go to school, we come home in the afternoon and play and eat dinner and bathe and go to bed. Five years into this gig and I feel pretty comfortable in my role as their mother as well as in my role as bill payer, financial planner, chef, housekeeper and life coach. I don't crave the constant feedback like I did when I was a rookie parent, and my older child is getting to an age where he would be embarrassed if he knew I was documenting in detail his every struggle or mistake, regardless of whether those things make my life harder or crazier or sadder. So yeah, I'm kind of reinventing myself over here.
I'm kind of reinventing myself in the real world, too, I guess, if by “reinventing” you possibly mean “entering back into social society for the first time in five years.” I've been kind of BUSY, actually – I've been volunteering here and there, and taking that financial class with Dave, and HA HA HA OMG I ACTUALLY SAID YES WHEN THEY ASKED ME TO BE IN AN EASTER PRODUCTION AT CHURCH. Like, on a stage. ACTING. I've memorized my lines and everything, despite the fact that when I got the phone call asking me if I'd be in it, my response was pretty much just, “Wait, have you ever actually seen me ACT?” The good news is that my character just mostly acts annoyed, and irritated, and I am SUPER good at acting annoyed and irritated! I practice it every time someone's socks miss the hamper! Actually, no one ever MISSES the hamper; they just ignore it altogether.
I think the last time I was in a play was in third grade? I am talking here about an actual PRODUCTION, with tickets and seats and parents in attendance. And I was Mrs. Claus, and not because I was theatrical in any sense, but I suspect because I was eager to prove how smart I was by being willing to memorize an entire book of dialogue. I can also call to mind another incident in third grade where there was some sort of production about the state of Ohio (it's where I was living at the time, in case that was not obvious) and each of us had to play a small part in the production, and I chose my part based on the fact that it was the LONGEST PARAGRAPH AVAILABLE TO MEMORIZE. I REMEMBER this. I think I also wore a bonnet? That part is a little fuzzy.
Anyway, so I am going to be in a PRODUCTION and I am rehearsing and all that jazz, which is turning out to be pretty fun and also a very reliable way to interact with other adults on a regular basis, which I am ALSO enjoying. It's also SO awesome to be able to do this kind of thing without worrying that Dave will hate me for leaving him to do the bedtime routine alone – for the most part, the kids are at an age where they're pretty easy to corral into bed. Oh sure, there's whining and some really excellent stalling techniques (“But I just want to hug and kiss Lucy one more time!” OH LIKE WE CAN DENY YOU THE OPPORTUNITY TO LOVE YOUR SISTER, GOOD ONE) but like I said before, no minutiae.
Life's definitely changing, but we're easing into it.