Potty Training: I may actually be WINNING at this

To give you some idea of how disastrously awful potty training Lucy was going, I first need to remind you of her all-consuming, desperate obsession with stuffed animals. They are, without a doubt, her number one toy of choice. She sleeps with THIRTY of them crammed into her toddler bed, she pushes them around the house in doll strollers and wraps them in blankets like babies, she takes one with her wherever she goes. Really and truly, the only tantrums she throws lately are the ones she throws when I refuse to buy her whatever plushy thing she has decided her little heart desires in the aisles of Target.

So you can imagine how well potty training was going when I tell you that we stood together in Target JUST YESTERDAY, Lucy clutching a tiny stuffed “baby” Clifford to her chest, and me emphasizing that yes, YES, I will absolutely buy you that RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT if you will just walk calmly to the bathroom with me and TRY to use the potty. Just TRY, Lu, please just TRY.

And she looked at me, with PITY, I assume because I expected this stupid crap to work? And then she put Clifford right back on the shelf. She put him back, you guys. It was the pint-sized, three-year-old version of the middle finger, is what it was.

Honestly, for the last five days, I have woken up in the mornings with a pit in the bottom of my stomach, dreading the day that would unfold before us. I could deal with accidents, with pee on my couch, with extra laundry; what I didn't want to deal with were the kicking, screaming “I DON'T WANT TOOOOOOO”s we were constantly pushing through; the (obviously fake) tears she conjured when I put her naked butt on a toilet. Lucy DID NOT WANT TO USE THE POTTY. While she was CAPABLE, she was not COMPLIANT. She did not care about your M&Ms, your stickers, YOUR TEARS OF FRUSTRATION. She peed through MANY pairs of underwear (I've heard of kids who snap to attention when the first trickle of pee hits their legs; mine just stood there and kept eating chocolate Teddy Grahams), she treated pull-ups just like diapers (no surprise there), and she even started refusing to take baths because I'd make her sit on the potty before she climbed in. Out and out DEFIANTLY REFUSING to take part in anything I suggested.

So the exhausting part of potty training was just having no idea when we'd turn the corner. I could DO all the stuff related to potty training – the laundry and the extra attention and the patience (well, I can MOSTLY do the patience) – but I cannot do this ongoing WHEN WILL I SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL thing when my child is being such a ridiculous NINCOMPOOP about the entire thing. It was just hour after hour of dread and confrontation and gentle pleading and then, MAYBE, me locking myself in my bedroom and screaming into my pillow.

And then today something clicked, I guess. She stopped fighting me. She started talking about needing to use the potty. At one point this afternoon she was so delightfully giddy about her progress that she pulled down her pants and sat on the thing over 25 times. TWENTY-FIVE TIMES, you guys. It was almost as annoying as NEVER wanting to go, but I realize what a stupid cow I am for saying that. I know we're probably nowhere near done (although we could be?) but just getting over that staunch refusal hump has made all the difference in the world for our attitudes. Mine is obviously much improved knowing we're getting somewhere; Lucy is excited about what she can do, and her continued success makes her more confident that she can do it when she tries. AND SHE TRIES. A LOT. Like, MY BACK HURTS from lifting her onto the toilet so many freaking times today.

Let's not even talk about poop right now, okay? Okay.

(Because a hot turd in underwear... yeah, that was not a good time.)

(I'll stop now.)

(It was really REALLY not fun.)

I am just so, so relieved that we're past the introductory period. OH I AM SO RELIEVED. This better stick, because I have about as much desire to go through that again as I do to sleep next to a wolverine. So... none. NONE.

Comments

[Sarah in Ottawa]

Go Lucy! And go you, Emily.

This post makes me so happy as we are also in the potty training trenches in advance of Teddy's third birthday. It's our first kick at the can (oh, potty puns) and I feel like my entire day is divided into half-hour long chunks which begin and end with potty visits. It appears to be working, though. Day 6 of underwear, and he's only had 2 accidents this whole time. I'm crediting the McQueen underwear on which he doesn't want to pee.

[Jen]

Oh no, the HOT TURD IN THE UNDERWEAR! Gah. Thankfully we only had to deal with that once because I think Avery was as grossed out by it as I was. I am shuddering just thinking of it.

You know, I put off the potty training for so long, and now I have no idea what I was waiting for. The only thing that I am having trouble with is the 1:30am wakeup calls: "MOOOOOOM! I have to PEEEEEE!"

[PinkieBling]

Kids are WEIRD. I hope the progress continues!!

I also really wish I could scrub the phrase "hot turd" out of my brain. HAHAHA.

[Carla Hinkle]

Pee accidents are nothing. Ha! I laugh at you, pee accidents! Bring it on!

Poop accidents, however...shudder.

[Anne]

Aaaah, the proverbial turning of the corner. Gooooo Lucy!! We FINALLY made it (only 2 kids to go!), though if you think a hot turd in the underwear is bad, imagine the child who so desires to be helpful that she tries to clean it up herself.

[Deanna]

I can SO relate to the attitude and the willful toddler. My twin girls could have been using the potty months and months ago, but they mostly refused to talk about it until one day (about a month apart from one another) they just decided to do it. Addison was the later to decide, and I was beginning to be fearful we would have to push her, when on a Thursday afternoon, she declared, "I don't wear diapers anymore; I use the potty now." And she totally did...no diapers since.

Now, the willful part of my children comes into play with their bladder control. They can hold it for HOURS, while I drive myself crazy wondering if/when they need to go. They have had almost no accidents, but hate to use the bathroom anywhere except home. On Christmas Eve, M did not pee for 24 HOURS because we were in somewhat unfamiliar places. That ended in an accident at MIL's house, just as I was preparing to load her up and take her to the freaking ER.

Hope the rest of the process is smooth for you!

[HereWeGoAJen]

Go, Lucy! And you, I realize how much work this is for you.

Elizabeth got peeing down in three days. Pooping took another seven months before she would even consider it. She still thinks it is a terrible idea.

[Karyan001]

I can completly understand what you are going through! my oldest will be 4 in march and we are just now potty trained! he was perfectly capable of going on the potty, he just had no interest in it! now the only time he wears a diaper is at night and we are pretty much accident free!( i hope i didnt just jinx that! lol) Good luck and Im glad things are moving forward!!

[MommaRuth]

Hello Friend! I've read your blog for sometime, but I've never posted! I LOVE your blog! I just laugh and laugh! We seem to be leading paralell lives. Our kids are about the same age, and born about the same time even. Boy, then girl. We even went to Disney Land this year too!
Anyway, the potty training was hard for us as well. I do hope that you are over the worst of it!

[Jana]

yes! this is us too!

My son is not motivated by anything.. or will manipulate it. For example, while he loves candy and will certainly pee every five minutes to achieve said candy all day long. The minute you run out of candy or he doesn't want to stop playing... back to peeing on the floor.

This has been going on for MONTHS!

[Leigh]

Potty training: the number one reason I only have two kids. I could not bring myself to go through that again.

Hang in there, and in the meantime may you never know the awfulness of poop in the tub.

[Kelly]

I say moms should get a shout out on the news or an Olympic gold medal when a child is potty trained. Seriously, we should get some recognitions for the amazing feat!!!!!

[Liesel]

Potty training is definitely one of the most frustrating and gross parts of parenthood. A few months ago I just got my youngest potty trained during the day. But, she still likes to poop in the tub :-(

[Rae Ann]

"hot turd in underwear" Bwahahahaha!

My cousin gave me some good advice. She recommended buying a GIANT stack of cheap undies so if it was too gross, you could just throw them out. It was advice that came in handy more than once. Ick.

Good luck!

[Bethany]

Good for you for hanging in there! And good for me for having older kids who are LONG DONE WITH POTTY TRAINING!!!!!! :)

[Jen]

I am DYING at the putting the Clifford back on the shelf thing. WOW. I thought Maggie was stubborn about the potty. ha

Maggie has also stood there and just... peed. Like, hey guys, what's up? *pee running down my leg* I DO NOT GET IT.

I hope you've turned a corner! And I hope for less hot turds in underpants in your future! ;)

[Michelle]

You inspire me. Potty training has been the thing that I have found that I am THE WORST at of all the things I've had to teach Joshua. We have done lots of stuff, and I know it's ultimately up to him but I cringe everytime I even think of potty training. He's going on the potty regularly but treating pull ups like diapers and I'm scared to put him in underwear because we are SO busy and OH THE CLEAN UP! You inspire me.

[Caitlin Rodd]

Hi! I've been reading you for oh... years, but never commented because I am a huge wuss. But now we are starting potty training with my soon-to-be 2 year old and it makes me feel SO much better to hear other peoples' horror stories.

[Erica Huff]

I DON'T WANT TOOOOO either.