Originally, my goal was to raise $5,000 for diapers for my community. And I know, that sounds like a huge, unreachable goal, and that... well, actually that was kind of the point. I decided that if I DID manage to raise $5,000? I would have been humbled and thrilled and amazed and absolutely blown away. I would have also had to run three miles in a giant diaper.
But you know what? I didn't even raise half of my original goal. The final total was $2,135.33, and I think if you had told me that before I'd even started, that I'd “only” raise that much, I might have been a little disappointed. It turns out that I am the furthest thing from disappointed. I am elated. I am thankful. I am humbled and thrilled and amazed and absolutely blown away. So I ran in that stupid diaper anyway. Because this is another instance where the readers of this website went above and beyond what I'd asked – I got beautiful emails and words of encouragement and notes of thanks for bringing this issue to light. Who am I to deny you a bit of a laugh at my expense? It was the least I could do, for people who have done so very much for me, and in turn, for the people of the community I live in – the people I so desire to serve. Thank you. Thank you very much.
(In the words of my brother: "Oh, gross. It even looks ABSORBENT.")
Can I tell you that there is no easier way to make friends than to strip down to a diaper in the pouring snow? The race I ran in on Saturday was touted as a Halloween run – costumes were encouraged – but due to the weather (SNOW) and the temperatures (33 DEGREES), there wasn't a huge turnout. Still, I saw a guy running in a furry wolf head. I saw witches and goblins and way too many Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (WHEN WILL THOSE THINGS GO AWAY). I saw a TON of superheroes. But LET ME TELL YOU, PEOPLE. When you are wearing a giant diaper? And knee socks? YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO TALK TO SOME FOLKS. It was a total blast, actually. I had so many opportunities to tell people why I was running in a diaper and they were so supportive and thought it was really cool (I suspect because they were wearing CLOTHES and therefore felt RATHER SUPERIOR).
And here is where I show you a video and hold my breath because I might as well be wearing a SWIMSUIT, you guys, these are my VERY NAKED THIGHS I'M ABOUT TO SHOW YOU.
I'm holding up my end of the bargain here, AM I NOT?
The only time I felt a little weird was (and I admit, this is so my fault for coming off as Creepy Diaper Lady) when I was running behind this dad and his two daughters, and the one daughter was trying to whisper to her dad but she was kind of winded, so it was coming out WAY louder than she intended, and I heard her kind of shout-whisper “THE DIAPER LADY IS RIGHT OVER THERE” and I don't know why I can't pretend not to hear that, but I CAN'T, and I'm all, “I'm RIGHT HERE! Right BEHIND YOU!” like only a Creepy Diaper Lady can and then I had to run faster and pass them because OMG, WHY DID I JUST SAY THAT TO A CHILD. (I finished with an 8:50 pace, though – that's the fastest I've ever knowingly run in my entire life. MUST AVOID HUMILIATING SELF ANY FURTHER.)
I finished the race with bright red legs and a numb butt (the left side of which was slowly sliding out of my diaper, not that I could feel it) and some mad, mad chafing between my thighs. Oh, you guys, THE IRONY: I ran in a bulky faux diaper and I needed ACTUAL DIAPER CREAM when I got home. Poor Dave – he had to watch me walk around in a diaper for an hour (total mood killer), then he had to sleep next to me reeking of A&D Ointment.
Whatever, it was worth it. It was for a great cause, and more than that, it was actually FUN. Fun! It was FUN running in a diaper, you guys. Thanks for being a part of something so wonderful.
Disclosure: I have partnered with the Huggies® brand to help promote the Huggies® Every Little Bottom program. I have been compensated for my time commitment to the program, which includes writing about it here. However, my opinions are entirely my own.