Long-time readers will no doubt remember a fateful day back in 2007 (wait, was it really 2007? the 2007 that was almost FIVE YEARS AGO?) when I asked for a certain number of comments on this post, and promised something ridiculous and embarrassing in return, and then the comments started ROLLING IN and... well, frankly, I never made good on that promise. I KNOW, OKAY? I'm sorry, I really am. I had EVERY GOOD INTENTION of following through, and then... you know, things happen, like LIFE, and now I can't even DO IT, AT ALL, because one of my important props has... uh, kind of... passed on. (SIGH. Poor Hambone.)
So now it has come to this, a place in my life where I am more than willing to make up for that failure to deliver (you don't have to believe me, but it continues to nag at my conscience) but this time I'm going to make you participate with me, for a good cause. I am officially starting an online, month-long diaper drive as part of my partnership with Huggies Every Little Bottom.
I have signed up to run a 5k race on October 29, exactly thirty days from today. Signed up, paid, even registered Asher to run the kids' fun run afterwards. Three miles, no big deal. HOWEVER. If I can raise $5,000 in the next month – all of which will go towards purchasing diapers for a local food pantry that meets the needs of women, children and families in the Northern Virginia area – then I will run that 5k race (HERE GOES, DEEEEP BREATH) in an adult-sized diaper. (Obviously there will be a ridiculous amount of photographic evidence as proof; I even have a friend signed up to run with me.) (She is not planning on wearing a diaper for any reason.)
What does that mean for you? Well if you want to SEE THIS, if you want this to ACTUALLY HAPPEN, if you want to see a receipt from Target for DEPENDS, then please consider donating the cost of a pack of (baby!) diapers to the cause.
ALL PROCEEDS, every last cent, will go towards diapers. ALL OF IT, you guys. All the money raised will be donated, even if the total amount doesn't reach $5,000 – but without that big $5,000 goal, I won't be putting on that diaper. I mean, IT'S A DIAPER, PEOPLE. Is there a lower level of humiliation than wearing a DIAPER IN PUBLIC? Besides RUNNING IN ONE? And possibly CHAFING IN IT AS WELL? But I am willing and happy to do this, if it means that I can help meet some of the needs of women and children in my community.
All I ask is that you donate whatever you feel is appropriate for this amount of entertainment-slash-charity. A good guideline here is that a small pack of diapers is generally in the neighborhood of $7, a box of diapers is about $18, and a GIANT, MEGAPACK JUMBOTRON box (or whatever it is they call it) is somewhere in the neighborhood of $35. Remember that all the money you donate is actually going to PURCHASE diapers – I'll likely just order the whole shebang from Amazon and have it delivered right to the food pantry when this is over. I know, $5,000 seems like a LOT of money, and it IS, but we are also talking about really needy people and a really embarrassing getup. This is important work and really humiliating attire.
Will you consider making a donation? And spreading the word so that we can reach this goal? All donations can be sent to my Paypal account: email@example.com. I will be happy to keep you updated on progress.
You guys are awesome. Truly, you are, and your support for me and for this website has been such a joy the last six (almost seven!) years. YEARS. (OMG, YEARS!) And how do I thank you? I wear a diaper in public. What a weird weird relationship we all seem to have. (AND I LOVE IT.)
Disclosure: I have partnered with the Huggies® brand to help promote the Huggies® Every Little Bottom program. I have been compensated for my time commitment to the program, which includes writing about it here. However, my opinions are entirely my own.