not that you asked...

I'd take pizza over a burrito, personally

Have you ever been on Twitter when something BIG and SHOCKING happens in the world? You’d be surprised how little it takes for people to get really riled up, especially when they can do it through social media and ESPECIALLY (at least in my corner of the mommyblogging Internet) if it concerns a crime against a child. There’s generally an overuse of CAPS LOCK and a hundred thousand too many exclamation points and a LOT of four-letter words from people who don't even USE four-letter words. And then after a few minutes, everything simmers down and people eventually start having pretty friendly-slash-intellectual discussions about what happened and then, as someone on Twitter hilariously pointed out, thirty minutes later everyone was back to devoting 140 characters to whether or not they were hungry for a burrito or a slice of pizza.

Ah, Twitter. Shortening everything in life, including our anger.

I can't remember who posted this during one of those crazy shouting Twitter fests, but it was a tweet that essentially said, “If you're angry about what happened, do something by donating to a charity that helps kids.” In other words, don’t just sit there and yell and rant and rave. Can you change anything about what’s already happened? Unlikely. Can you change something for someone else? YES YOU CAN.

Now THIS, people, THIS is brilliance. Yes, it is horrible and unthinkable when bad things happen, especially if they happen to children. But it is also so much more productive for society if you can take that anger and turn it into something good; something that can actually change things for other deserving children. Choose to make someone's life a little brighter. Don't just get angry because something happened to a child – make a decision to do something because ALL children are valuable.

Donate some toys to a shelter. Donate your money to a child abuse charity. Donate your time to a program for underprivileged kids. Drop some diapers off at your local food bank. Do something. If you really and truly believe with your whole heart that the life of one child is important, then you must believe the same for all children, regardless of health or wealth, of status or stature.

You guys know I'm an ambassador for the Huggies Every Little Bottom program and I am so proud to be working with a company that is willing to go above and beyond what is expected of them in regards to charity work. Huggies makes it easy for you to donate to your local food and diaper banks – here are three quick ways for you to make a difference in the life of a child – a child that is just as loved and important to someone as your own child is to you.

Donate your Huggies rewards points. Each pack of Huggies Little Movers diapers contains a code that can be entered for prizes and rewards at Huggies.com. You can easily donate those points – they will be used to donate diapers to a local charity.

Donate at the Huggies Every Little Bottom website. Enter your zip code and you can see exactly where your local food bank is located and what they need. Some link directly to Amazon.com wishlists.

The next time you're buying diapers, make a conscious decision to purchase Huggies special edition packs of Huggies Jeans Diapers and Huggies Jeans Wipes – for each pack purchased, Huggies will donate a diaper to charity – up to 22.5 MILLION. Million! That's a lot of diapers, and all of them for a noble cause.

Disclosure: I have partnered with the Huggies® brand to help promote the Huggies® Every Little Bottom program. I have been compensated for my time commitment to the program, which includes writing about it here.  However, my opinions are entirely my own.

They didn't learn Meal Aversion from ME, that's for sure

Dave has a good point about Man vs. Wild. You know the show, right? Bear Grylls (no idea how to properly pronounce his last name, this is why VOWELS WERE INVENTED) is some kind of crazy ultra-Boy Scout who gets dropped off via helicopter in crazy places and has to find his way out using nothing but the crap he brought on his back. The stuff he carries with him varies – the episode we are watching right now takes place in Iceland, and although Bear told us he is wearing a non-insulated jacket (in sub-zero temperatures) what he DOES have is a gigantic 25-foot rope slung over his shoulder. Interesting, what the producers have decided people get stranded in the wild with. (A GIANT ROPE? And no cell phone? REALLY?)

Anyway, Dave's point is that Bear Grylls isn't the real star of the show. Granted, he's adorable and manly and has a delightful British accent, but he's also got a CAMERAMAN following him everywhere he goes. In other words, there's someone else who is doing all the same insane stuff Bear does – leap over glacial crevasses, swim through crocodile-infested waters, PARACHUTE OUT OF HELICOPTERS – but with a camera and equipment strapped to his person. So who is the REAL hero here? The dude who does all this crazy stuff? Or the dude who does all the crazy stuff AND CARRIES A CAMERA around to film the other crazy guy and gets NO RECOGNITION for it?

I mean, don't get me wrong, Bear Grylls does things like drink the water from elephant dung to stay hydrated and eats things like snakes and insects and worms and I'll bet the whole time the cameraman has Snickers and Slim Jims in his (likely insulated) jacket pockets, but STILL. Still! Dave would like to see a show called Cameraman vs. Wild, is what I'm saying, and he would be JUSTIFIED in this.

Moving on.

Can someone tell me why my children are so deathly afraid of the words we use for meals? I am so tired of saying, “What do you want for breakfast/lunch/dinner?” to my children out of habit, because then they inevitably say, “I DON'T WANT ANY BREAKFAST/LUNCH/DINNER” and I kid you not, if I wait THIRTY SECONDS and simply rephrase this question – using the exact same tone of voice – to “What do you want for a snack?” they are FALLING ALL OVER THEMSELVES to eat. I can even offer them exactly what I was offering them for dinner, if I was giving them a choice, and they are happy to choose macaroni and cheese and yogurt for this supposed snack. It is so irritating. I'm not sure why they have this Meal Aversion – is it the idea that a meal will be served sitting down at the table instead of in a little bowl in front of the television or their toys? I would assume that would be the case, but sometimes they are happy to eat their “snack” at the table without me having to force them to. It makes very little sense, but it does make me feel sly and cunning to have figured out that all I have to do is change my choice of vocabulary words to trick them into eating MEAL FOOD.

It does amaze me how many cues Lucy picks up on just watching and paying attention to Asher. Like that dinner/snack thing – that's something Asher started doing a few months ago, and now even if I just have Lucy alone and am trying to feed her dinner, she sticks to the routine Asher has established for avoiding having to eat anything but food we label as “snacks.” Lately they've been fighting nearly all the time, and the really annoying thing about it is that Lucy is fighting with him JUST TO FIGHT. It is so awful, because Asher is such a particular child – he wants toys to be played with in the correct manner and he cannot STAND it if you're insisting something is red when it is, in fact, very clearly BRICK RED and he will fight to the DEATH to defend his (usually correct) position on something, but usually before death comes hot, hysterical tears and stomping, so usually he just fights until he gets to those, and then I have to put them both in time out in separate rooms to CALM THE FREAK DOWN.

Asher will say something like, “This car is named Lightning McQueen,” and we can all see with our own two working eyes that yes, in fact, that car IS Lightning McQueen, and Lucy will simply say, “No, it's not.” Just for the sake of starting a fight; just for the sheer pleasure of being a shining textbook example of an annoying little sister. And they go back and forth and back and forth until Lucy channels her mother (you know, ME, the one with absolutely zero ability to debate) and just starts hitting him with whatever is lying nearby because she has no verbal energy left.

WHO, ME?

Last week was Vacation Bible School at our church – I signed Asher up to go for the week. It's only three hours a day and he absolutely loved the first three days, but he woke up on the morning of the fourth day and staunchly refused to go. I tried to convince him to go – we talked about all the reasons VBS was fun and how it was only one week a year and there were only two days left and all his friends would be there and he just looked at me and said, “Mom? I don't want to go today. I'll go tomorrow, but today I just want to stay home and play with Lucy.”

Yeah, so. I shut up about the fighting after that because DUDE, my kids really do love each other and it's pretty freaking awesome.

It's almost AUGUST, you guys

In an interesting turn of events, I have decided to accept a tiny bit of a job covering new episodes of the Duggars for iVillage. HOW HILARIOUS IS THIS, YOU GUYS? I mean, let's be honest, I DO love the Duggars. But I am going to get PAID to watch the Duggars and then write a blog post about what they do. Is America great or WHAT? I've written a post or two before about the Duggars when they needed me to in a pinch, but now I am the official Duggar Correspondent. I kid you not, that is my title. What REALLY made me laugh about the whole thing is that I got an email from one of the iVillage editors asking me if I wanted to do this, and telling me she'd heard I was a bit of a Duggar expert.

Did you catch that? I HAVE A DUGGAR-RELATED REPUTATION, you guys. I am getting that engraved on my tombstone. Anyway, my posts will be up on Wednesdays, and if you're interested in the Duggars (don't act like you don't care, because I know you do) you should check it out and get involved in the comment discussion. Apparently people are VERY PASSIONATE about the Duggars. I do have to say, if there's one thing you can say about them, it's that they have kids who love each other and take care of each other, and for as much criticism as they receive about overpopulating the world and breathing too much of other people's air (I swear I have heard that) they are nice people. I'm all for the world having too many people who breathe too much air if they're going to be nice people. This is a family who has been on television for YEARS now and no one is going to be breaking any scandals about them – and even if they're making BUCKETS of money off of these TV deals, they're not acting shady with the cash, you know? I approve.

We've been busy around here just doing Summer. It's hard to believe it's the end of July already, but it most obviously is, and all you have to do is walk around Target and you'll see that every summer item they've been carrying is marked down to something like ninety cents. I spent seven dollars last week buying four huge shovels and rakes for our beach trip, plus a kite, two water guns, and a lizard. As exciting as landing those deals was, I am generally TOTALLY BUMMED that summer is going to be over soon. Summer is going to be over and I am still going to have zero idea how to dress for cold weather. I posted about that a few months ago, didn't I? I love summer clothes and I like the stuff I already have to wear in the summer and I have such an easy time finding things I want to buy for summer but FALL? I made some sort of promise to myself that I would invest in an actual wardrobe for fall and winter this year that doesn't make me look frumpy or like I'm still in college and I'm about to throw a tantrum because I DON'T WANNA START DOING IT. I want to look nice, I do; I just don't want to do the work and I don't want to spend the money. Summer tank top: $8 at Target or $6 at Old Navy. Winter sweater: $60 and up, NO MATTER WHERE YOU SHOP. The thought of it makes me feel ill.

Also I am already totally dreading winter – I have a family beach trip coming up and then the Blathering in Austin and then we head to Disney World and then Christmas and then... nothing. Nothing fun to look forward to on the calendar for months and months and months and I am like one of those brides who gets depressed after the wedding because there's nothing to plan or obsess over. Wasn't it awful when you got married and had no reason to contemplate cake flavors all day? And that scares me because those boring periods of time is when I come up with really innovative plans like LET'S HAVE ANOTHER BABY OR SOMETHING. At least then we won't be bored and we'll have stuff to DO. Also look at this long stretch of TIME just SITTING BEFORE US.

(Dave's head just exploded reading this post.)

At the risk of this post being all over the place (HA HA HA IT ALREADY IS) I just want to say thanks to those of you who commented on our swim lesson situation with Asher via Twitter the other day. I know it isn't the end of the world if my kid doesn't LOVE water at four years of age; I know that a lot of what looks like fear in him is often just extreme caution, and he is extremely cautious about a LOT of stuff. He is willing to swim by himself in any amount of water as long as he has a swim ring on and that makes me feel great. It seems like a lot of you have kids who went through similar things and then one day they were just all, Hey! Water! It's not acid burning my eyes out and it's FUN to swim in! And I am hoping we get to that point soon, but I also have to be patient and realize (for the millionth time) that my children are not little pieces of me walking around, enjoying all the same things I've learned to enjoy and facing new things with the same amount of experience I already have. I forget that sometimes. I also have to remember that my kids aren't other people's kids either, and that even though OTHER kids enjoy swimming, mine might not be there quite yet and it's FINE. I'll bet there are other kids in the world who don't want to do subtraction problems for hours on end, but since you can't necessarily SEE other kids subtracting like you can swimming, I'LL NEVER KNOW.

The photo of me looks like I forgot my toothbrush. I DID. (I bought one there, though.)

Did I tell you guys that I went to Utah a couple of weeks ago? I joined the Huggies Every Little Bottom team at evo '11 to promote the program and spread the word about what Huggies is doing to combat diaper need in this country. I stayed here.

Incredible, really.

First let me just say that if you're ever in the market for a blogging or social media-related conference, take some time to consider evo (full title: the Evolution of Women in Social Media). It's small and intimate (only about 350 attendees – in comparison, Blogher attracts several thousand), it's in a picturesque location (Park City, Utah), families are ENCOURAGED to attend along with participants (I cannot stress how fun it was for real, actual BABIES to visit us in the Huggies suite – you'd have thought we'd never seen babies in real life before, I SWEAR), and the content of the conference was really up-to-date and hands-on. I was really really impressed with the whole thing – I know the technically I was an outsider since I was there representing Huggies and not as just a regular attendee, but it seemed much less... cliquey. I would say it was the kind of conference where people attend specifically for the content and the sessions, and not for the parties. So. Make of that what you will. (I thought it was awesome.) (THOUGH A BIT INTIMIDATING, because the people who attended REALLY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING, blog-wise.) (AHEM, The Bloggess, AHEM.)

I'd never been to Utah before the conference, and when I left home I noted that the five-day forecast for the region had something like a 40 percent chance of thunderstorms every afternoon. So the first afternoon I had free, I decided I would take advantage of the semi-sunshine, beat the thunderstorms, and take the gondola up to the top of the mountain and hike the four-ish miles back down.

The first mile was wonderful – the scenery was gorgeous, there was a breeze, the trail was groomed... and then it started POURING. Pouring! I spent the next three miles walking through a downpour, sliding through mud, and trying to keep my iPod dry by stuffing it into my underwear. And then NATURALLY the rain let up right as the end of the trail came into sight. And then? It didn't rain THE REST OF THE TIME I WAS IN UTAH.

It is not raining yet, that's why I am still smiling.

The rest of the trip made up for that afternoon, I promise. I spent most of my time hanging with the Huggies team in our sponsor suite, talking to people about diaper need in America. It was amazing how many people were completely shocked at the facts – primarily that one in three American moms will struggle with diaper need at some point. Some women were actually moved to tears in that room, so powerful is this message. One woman in particular stood out to me – she had her son with her and she told me that she uses cloth on him, but that she really supported the Huggies cause because she knows she is lucky enough to be able to choose what she uses for her baby, when so many women can't. It still gives me goosebumps.

One of the other amazing things that happened in that suite was that Huggies was able to donate more than 150 packs of diapers to a local Utah charity. We asked visitors to the suite to write down a wish for a baby on a card, and then tie it to our little Huggies ribbon tree, and by the end of the weekend, we had collected far more than we could have ever expected. The turnout was great, and we were so thankful for everyone's participation in the program.

I was also lucky enough to spend a lot of time with Joanne Goldblum, who founded one of the first diaper banks in the United States and who was also there with Huggies. I have to start by saying Joanne and her family (her husband and her 13-year-old son were with her) were wonderful to me – and I ended up spending a lot of time hanging out with them, and joking that they were my new adoptive family. They were SO MUCH FUN, and I have never met a more mature (and possibly more adorable) 13-year-old boy. I let him EAT OFF MY PLATE, you guys. That's how adorable and awesome he was. And Joanne has such a passion for the work of diaper donation, it's really inspiring.

My biggest takeaway from Joanne is that she pointed out that hygiene products aren't necessarily covered by food stamps or WIC programs for those living in poverty. Meaning that tampons, shampoo, and soap (along with diapers) are things that are out of reach for a lot of people – which also means that (and Joanne has seen this first-hand) there are times when children are being fed and cared for, but are reported to CPS for neglect because they are unclean. Oh, this breaks my heart. There are actually children in this country who live in danger of being relocated to foster care because they – and their parents – are simply dirty. No no no no. We can FIX THIS.

Thank you, Huggies, for the opportunity to be on site at evo, but also, for the opportunity to share this information with more of the world.

It is EMBARRASSING, the amount of HGTV I watch

My mom continues to be completely astonished by the fact that today's generation of married people sometimes let the husband make or influence design and decorating choices. This COMPLETELY FLOORS my mother. “Your dad couldn't have cared LESS!” she tells me every time we are out shopping and I say something like, “Oh, Dave would HATE that.” I don't know if this rings true for other people my age – were the Dads of those born in the 70s and 80s TOTALLY UNINTERESTED in what their homes looked like? Did it really and truly fall to the women, just like child rearing and meal preparation and diaper changing predominantly did? I'm telling you, my mom just cannot get over the idea that Dave has opinions about what we should put in our house; she's equally, if not MORE perplexed, by the fact that I give his opinions any kind of weight.

Which frankly, I don't. I mean, if Dave really really HATES something (he can generally be counted on to detest overly floral patterns, purple, and anything that seems knick-knacky) then I obviously am not going to force him to live with it. There's a lot of design out there in the world, so I don't feel the need to make him live in a house surrounded by ceramic birds, even if I think they're the most wonderful things in the entire world. But when we're talking about DESIGN SCHEMES? That is when I do not really pay attention to whatever it is he's thinking in his little computer-centered, information technology brain. I am the one who can name the host of every HGTV design show, you know? I am interested in this kind of thing. I like doing this kind of thing. I understand his wanting to be involved in the big decisions (couch, hardwood flooring, appliances) and I welcome his expertise concerning warranties and life expectancies, but please, for the love of all that is holy, keep your nose and your opinions out of everything else. Especially if it is something that needs to match something else.

It took me months of thinking and planning and re-thinking and window shopping before I came up with a color palette for our new kitchen. That sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? But it isn't, because I wanted to do something fresh and cute that wasn't overly girly or crazy expensive. And since we took down the wall in our kitchen that separated it from the dining room and unified the entire downstairs with hardwood flooring, it feels like one big airy space instead of three (living room, kitchen, dining room). So I wanted to use pretty much the same color scheme throughout the entire downstairs – we're talking something like 500 square feet, so it's not a big enough space to justify a lot of different stuff going on. I finally came up with this:

I love all the color, especially since we have so much brown going on in the house now with the wood floors, wood cabinets, and chocolate brown sectional in the living room. But you guys, after looking for a rug that works for MONTHS, I have come up with nothing. I finally brought a nice neutral sisal rug home from HomeGoods last night (for a very nice price), and Dave hates it. And while I don't LOVE it, I just keep thinking, DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW HARD I HAVE WORKED TO MAKE THIS ROOM LOOK NICE? Do you even understand that I have looked at every rug in the entire Internet and real world? THIS IS WAY HARDER THAN IT LOOKS.

This morning I was browsing rugs on overstock.com while he looked over my shoulder. “I like that one,” he volunteered. “And that one.”

You guys, you remember that color palette we are working with up there? I have bought pillows and throw rugs and CURTAINS in those fabrics up there. THEY ARE ALIVE AND WELL INSIDE OUR HOUSE RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND. Tell me you understand why I cannot use these two rugs with that color palette - the color palette that ALREADY EXISTS IN OUR HOUSE.

 


I KNOW, RIGHT? You don't have to watch a lot of HGTV to figure this one out. SIGH. It's not that I don't want his help; it's more that I think I might be pretty okay at doing this and I want free reign to do it all by myself. Which is pretty selfish, when you think about it. I mean, he's just EXCITED that we have what feels like a brand-new home, and he wants to help make it look good. But it turns out that while I want his help in some ways, I am a little bit stuck back in my mom's era of decorating, where I pretty much feel very HANDS OFF MY HOUSE, too. Also there's this little part of me that is kind of disappointed that he isn't all, WOW, the house looks AMAZING! when I do something new, but the truth is that I made a whole entire CURTAIN (we have exactly three windows downstairs, it must be said) and he was in the house for OVER AN HOUR before he even saw it, and that was only after I pointed it out. I am not kidding.

So anyway, I'm just curious. Does your husband/boyfriend/significant other care about how you decorate your house? Like, above and beyond wanting a nicer dishwasher or a sectional couch or vetoing an entire wall of flowery stencils. I'm talking about curtains and throw pillows and accents, I guess. I have a feeling your answers are going to make my mother PASS OUT with DISBELIEF.

Kitchen Remodel: Before and After

It took one entire month. We demolished everything and turned a dining room and a u-shaped kitchen into one big eat-in area. We got new cabinets, new countertops, new appliances and new lighting. WE LIVED WITH MY PARENTS THE WHOLE TIME.

I'll let the photos speak for themselves. Although, please keep in mind that we haven't reached the DECORATING portion of our program. This is just the cleaned-up, we-can-finally-live-here version. (Which: !!!!)

Before:

After:


Before:


After:


Before:


After:


AFTER AFTER AFTER:




I AM NEVER LEAVING THIS HOUSE NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER.