I don't even think ASHER knows what swords are

I am going to start carrying around a little notebook for the sole purpose of writing down which child had the last turn at various events and outings. Such as, “Oh, see right here, Asher? It says that the last time you and Lucy both sat in the cart together, YOU were the one who got to sit at the very front. So it is most definitely her turn to sit up there. Now you can either shut it, or you can ride underneath, where I usually put 12-packs of Coke.” I feel this urgent need to be FAIR. Asher is old enough to understand taking turns (even if he protests) and while Lucy is NOT, it isn't fair to cop to her demands just because she doesn't really get it. That's not fair to the kid who DOES. Unfortunately, Asher has a pretty good memory, and the fact that he has recently shown his penchant for deviance (he BLATANTLY cheated and then lied about it when he was playing board games with Dave this afternoon) means that I cannot tell whether he really was the last one to have a turn riding the elephant on the stupid fifty-cent mall carousel or whether he's just telling me that so that I will override Lucy's request to be the one to ride the zebra today. See? I need a notebook.

We had a pretty crazy week last week, hence the lack of a post. A close family friend passed away, and attending the funeral and the viewing and the reception took up a good chunk of time, as did figuring out childcare and buying my husband a new suit to wear. Not to mention the emotional wear and tear of watching close friends grieve and worrying about what to say and how long to hold on to that hug and feeling completely inadequate in the area of offering comfort. I'll tell you what, though, when it's my time to go, I want there to be an open sharing time at my funeral, where anyone who wants to can stand up and tell a story about something stupid I did. I found that part of the service to be particularly heartwarming and almost joyous. It was a nice send-off.

The kids were shuttled around to various family members' homes and did fine. Lucy, UNFORTUNATELY and also WOE, has grown tired of using the potty, perhaps as a result of a shakeup in our routine. This isn't a huge deal to me – she started showing interest and then staying dry for long stretches at a time and initiating using the potty all by herself for a while, and frankly, I was just not ready. Potty training requires ME to pay lots of attention and last week – with the funeral and then a baby shower and me volunteering to bake eight dozen cookies for a church function and Asher having his Easter party at school AND AND AND – I was not in the frame of mind to escort her to the bathroom every 30 minutes. So while she can go in the potty, and does go in the potty when I remind her to, she's no longer in the mindframe of initiating it herself. EVEN FOR CANDY. And that's TOTALLY OKAY. It hasn't even gotten warm here, really, so if there is some sort of accident or if she pees in a pull-up, it requires the removal of shoes and pants before the undies/pull-up come off, and THAT IS ANNOYING, particularly if you're trying not to touch anything in a public bathroom, and if you're doing that thing where the kid is standing with their back to you while you bend over and redress them, TAKE OFF YOUR LONG NECKLACE, or when you stand back up after threading her legs through her pants, that thing is going to get caught around her neck AND CHOKE HER. I speak to you from experience. Actually, I speak to you from (embarrassingly) NUMEROUS experiences. Anyway, I feel like this potty training thing has been her idea from the start, so when she's ready to do it full throttle, she'll make it known to me.

Of note concerning Lucy: She now makes a “PSSSHHHHHT!” sound and points her finger in my face, before announcing, “This is my SWORD!” She also is currently sleeping with a plastic yak in her crib (“MAMA! I need my YAK!”). She is freaking awesome. For Easter Sunday she has a bunny purse to carry to church. I cannot WAIT to see what she tries to smuggle into her Sunday school classroom.

I fell off the Weight Watchers wagon over the last week and a half or so, but I'm still holding steady and I'm about four pounds from my goal weight. I can fit into every single thing in my closet, even though some of them technically aren't suitable for being worn outside of the house. Still: I can get the smallest pair of jeans in my closet on, AND BUTTON THEM. I am running a half-marathon in seven weeks so it helps that I am running in the neighborhood of 25-30 miles a week. That definitely helps when I have a rough week food-wise.

And hey, that's about it as far as this catch up/what-we've-been-doing post is concerned. Nothing crazy, nothing terrible, nothing particularly noteworthy. I DO have a post started about The Great Pregnancy Scare of 2011, which I still get nauseous just thinking about. I have never been so happy to have to buy a box of tampons in my ENTIRE LIFE, you guys. And the worst part was the fact that I had JUST WRITTEN that post about biological children and how nervous I would be to get pregnant again and OMG JUST THINKING ABOUT IT IS MAKING THE BILE RISE IN MY THROAT. And then after I found out I really and truly WASN'T pregnant, I thought I might die at the hands of my husband, who was pretty worn out from all of my panicking/what iffing/OMG WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO CANCEL OUR DISNEY TRIP hysterics that I unleashed on him. I'll try to write that down in the next couple of days. I'll probably have to hold a bucket in one hand to heave into while I hunt and peck on the keyboard with the other just to get it out. The memories... THEY ARE STILL FRESH.

Comments

[Lynda M O]

Still reading, Sunshine, hope you are doing well. The weekend ended too dang soon for me; how about you ?~?

[HereWeGoAJen]

Instead of a notebook, I've heard some people that switch off days for kids. Like if it is an odd day, then Asher goes first and if it is an even day, Lucy goes first. I'm sure it wouldn't be a perfect system, but maybe it would even out enough and you wouldn't have to remember.

[Emma B]

We switch off daily between our three children. One child is the "leader" every day (I make them line up to avoid massive scrambles out the door, to the dinner table, etc.).The leader gets to line up first , and s/he also gets to pick the TV show, get the banana with the sticker, sit in the preferred booster seat, and whatever other privileges they currently have decided are important.

I just rotate among the three of them, and they collectively remember whose turn it is, but you'd probably want to do odd-numbered/even-numbered days. I did odds/evens with switching nursing sides when the girls were babies -- Baby A was on the left side on odd days, right side on even days. Worked like a charm.

[Life of a Doctor's Wife]

I'm so sorry about the loss of your friend.

A plastic yak? LOVE.

And while I've never choked a child with a long necklace (only by virtue of not having any children to choke, I assure you) I have swung long necklaces through plates of food and entire pots of chili.

[Shellby]

Same as some commenters above, we have a 'Shining Star' for the day. My son was born on the 17th and my daughter on the 24th, so every odd day he is Shining Star and every even day, she is. It works great. They are now old enough (6 1/2 & 4) to ask "Who is the Shining Star today?" and they never argue with the answer given. They remember that if today isn't their day, tomorrow will be.

[Very Bloggy Beth]

At my son's preschool, they keep all these lists to keep track of whose turn it is. Want to go on the swings? I'll put you on The List. Want to use that shovel? I'll put you on The List. I used to roll my eyes when they actually got pen and paper and made a list. But, you know what? It works. I may just use that technique when kiddo #2, due this winter, is older and they are fighting.

Also of note, I had like, 4 pregnancy scares in 2010, and we were SO NOT READY then. I feel you.

[Heather R]

LOVE the plastic yak! Kids are so funny!

[JD]

Just to reiterate: a plastic yak. AWESOME.

The notebook thing is pure genius. I think my Lizzie (5yo) is still telling the truth that it's her turn for something or another, but I'm so tired and Sophia (2.5yo) is shrieking so loud I can't remember. I just want the shrieking to STOP.

And I had a preggo scare. Made me certain that two monkeys are enough for this mama.

[Jen]

Woooo boy. I had one of those scares last month. HOLY PANIC. Like whoa.

[M]

IUD! They are the best. You can have them removed anytime and get pregnant the next week (so my friend learned the hard way). Or you can leave them in for up to 5 years and possibly never ever get your period again, like me. (Which should be slightly troubling, but I don't care, because NO PERIOD.)

[shayla]

I have 3 girls and the older 2 were constantly arguing over who gets to brush teeth first, get in the tub, get out of the tub, go potty, ACK!! I started alternating days and I wrote their first initial on every other day of the month on our calendar. If there is a choice between them, the person with that day's initial gets to pick. Otherwise, it goes back to my usual dictatorship. It's been working so well for us but unfortunately, I think I am now going to have to add my 2 year old to the mix. How she even understands it all at this point is beyond me but she screams me! me! when I ask whose day it is! (and she is just turning 2 tomorrow!)

[Shannon]

Lucy sounds very entertaining!

[Womens Petite]

get out of the tub, go potty, ACK!! I started alternating days and I wrote their first initial on every other day of the month on our calendar. If there is a choice between them, the person with that day's initial gets to pick. Otherwise, it goes back to my usual dictatorship. It's been working so well for us but unfortunately, I think I am now going to have to add my 2 year old to the mix. How she even understands it all at this point is beyond me but she screams me! me! when I ask whose day it is! (and she is just turning 2 tomorrow!)