Hi! I went to Seattle! Without telling you!

Sometime last night – while I was sleeping? perhaps? - something terrible must have occurred because suddenly today I want to lop every inch of hair off of my head. Yesterday my hair was merely displeasing, today it is HORRIFIC. This has happened to you, yes? I don't know why it seems to happen so SUDDENLY, but it always does. I don't know what it is; one moment my hair seems workable, if maybe a little bit blah, and twelve hours later I am so ready to do something, ANYTHING with it that I have to restrain myself from getting out a pair of dull Ikea scissors and making something happen RIGHT THIS INSTANT.

Getting a haircut is one of those things that – once I decide I need one – I can think of nothing else. I guess this is because I routinely go three or four months between appointments? It is just alarming, the difference between the need for a haircut I had last night (on a scale of one to ten, last night I was at a three or four) and the need I have today, which is somewhere between an eleven and getting a match from the kitchen to BURN IT ALL OFF MY HEAD, HURRY.

The problem is that I have no stylist, no appointment, and very little money. It's hard to justify a $70 haircut this week when I just spent four whole days away from home in Seattle visiting friends. Oh! Did I not tell you? I went to Seattle! For fun! JUST BECAUSE! I didn't go anywhere NEAR Nintendo! I spent most of my time with Elizabeth and Maggie but I got to see a bunch of other bloggers-slash-friends too, and also I went on the Duck Tour (helpful hint for future Seattle Duck riders: The driver is SO TOTALLY NOT KIDDING when he tells you a big bump is coming up, you should SEE the current state of my left butt cheek) and I ate a donut as big as my head and I drank a lot of coffee even though coffee is SO not my bag but people in Seattle seem to view The Diet Coke as something that has been delivered straight from Satan himself. In one restaurant we went to, the menu listed Coke and Diet Coke with the footnote “By popular demand” but you totally got the feeling that there was supposed to be a footnote to THAT footnote that said “by TOURISTS, obvs.”

Anyway, I'm not going to go into excruciating detail about every little funny thing and inside joke that happened while I was vacationing on the other coast, but I will tell you that a group of us went to dinner on Thursday and when it was my turn to be carded, the completely humorless and void of personality waitress took my ID and then looked at me and said, in total seriousness, “1978? Huh. Wow. I guess you look pretty good for '78.” And she did not smile, like, even a LITTLE BIT, which leads me to believe she saw nothing wrong with what she said. But... something was wrong with what she said, right? I mean, I'm 33, not 108. 1978 was not THAT long ago, was it? WAS IT? Don't tell me if it was. (Seriously though. WAS IT?)

Also in Seattle I had a massage and a pedicure and then I went shopping in the disposable paper flip flops they give you because Elizabeth was itching to get out of the nail salon and my toes weren't dry enough to shove back into my sneakers. I am almost positive (ALMOST) that I looked ridiculous walking through the city in the pouring rain in 50 degree weather with what amounted to blue construction paper stuck to the bottoms of my feet but here is how I know Elizabeth is a good friend: SHE DIDN'T CARE. She also didn't mind when we spent the majority of Saturday night trying to find something to eat in the lovely city of Bellevue, and when I say “trying to find” I really mean we couldn't find a restaurant even though we had a MAP, an actual MAP, and the restaurant we were trying to get to was clearly marked RIGHT THERE ON IT. True story! I can't find my way to a STORE with a MALL MAP. I am so not cut out for the Great American Road Trip.

Wait, I said I wouldn't go into detail about everything, so I'll stop there, except to tell those of you who have blogs and haven't reached out to anyone you've met online: DO IT. It seems scary and weird and the people who know you in real life are bound to think you're off your rocker or will come home beheaded and in a body bag but let's be honest, the chances of that are so so slim. Listen to me, you guys: Those connections you've forged online – with people who have encouraged you through the hell of breastfeeding, who showed genuine care and concern when you miscarried, who cheered with you when you lost 30 pounds and ran your first half-marathon and sent your first-born to preschool successfully – those are REAL CONNECTIONS. Those are real friendships and those are real people behind the comments and the posts and the DMs and if you get the chance to make those friendships even more tangible than they already are, I want you to take it. It is worth it. My life has been enhanced and enlightened and made all the more wonderful as a result.

Thanks, girls. You know who you are, and while I hate that I only get to see you once or twice a year, I'm so thankful that I can call you my friends and that I can really, truly mean it.

(Even you, Maggie. Even though you own this CD.)

Comments

[Jen]

The haircut obsession thing? I HAVE IT RIGHT NOW. And I don't have time to get a cut before our trip. THAT'S not gonna annoy me AT ALL. gah

My goal for this year is to meet YOU, my friend :) Blathering 2011!!!

[Lynda M O]

About the hair issue: I , too, decided on a whim to get my three years worth of Grief Growth cut off and go back to a short cut that is meant for this pile of copper wire disguised as a head of hair. Where’s the new picture of you ?~!

The post that subscribed me to your blog was the one where you told us about your husband doing the dog put to sleep thing for you. I sobbed then (and now) with sadness and relief that he loved you so very much.

Seattle is a great city; I live in SF Bay Area and have been to and thru Seattle a few times. Wonderful that you had a great time and love these women. Thanks for sharing.

[kirida]

It was so nice to meet you! You look more like you were born in '87 than '78! Seriously, like you should be in High School Musical 4.

[Amy --- Just A Titch]

Thanks for sharing a room with me :) I'm glad we got to hang out, even though time was limited.

[Carla Hinkle]

As a person who was born in 72 (LATE 72, VERY VERY LATE) I can say that 78's are spring chickens, mere young nymphs frolicking through the flowery meadows. 72's, by contrast, are old crones waving around our canes and peering through our masses of greasy gray hair.

[Jacqueline]

The hair thing happens to me too. I convince myself I can tough it out a bit longer and then I wake up the next day and do something drastic. So, I feel your pain.

[Swistle]

YES there was something wrong with what she said. How did she think that was okay? Sheesh! She sounds like she's talking about cars, or baseball cards: "Huh, pretty good condition for a '78."

Is there, say, a $25 haircut option near you? I know these things vary so much by region.

[Andrea]

You're in NoVA, right? I see Felycia at PR at Partners in Shirlington and I LOVE her! She's good at coming up with ideas (my directions on what I want are nearly nonexistant). Strangers (strangers!) have complimented me on haircuts she's given me. My sister goes there as well, she sees Neat and also loves her.

[Maggie]

Wow - have you come up with a witty comeback for "next time?" Or maybe something the rest of us can use? Can't believe she said that with a straight face.

[HereWeGoAJen]

I am so jealous.

My last haircut was in October. I am going to get one while my mom is here this week, I swear.

[Karen]

I am the SAME way with haircuts. Except I am lucky to have a good friend who is a super stylist and I can usually get a cut for about 30 bucks plus tip. But I also wait four months and then just want to chop it all off--luckily my friend will never let me, because she knows my husband would be sad.

And I own that CD! In my defense, it's because my kids are huge Lithgow fans.

[Michelle B.]

Sometimes I read your posts (yes, I read them all and rarely comment, I suck) and I think we share a mind - yours being the funnier half. I feel the same way about haircuts and started scheduling appts. in advance but always was loving my hair when I went to get it cut. Now I've found someone who cuts hair at her house and getting in with her is a cinch and so much cheaper - plus my kids can play in her basement! I hope you can find the same!
PS - The John Lithgow CD is frightening, seriously, frightening!

[Elizabeth]

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I am So happy that you took a picture of that CD. But I miss you! And Maggie. And her interpretation of John Lithgow singing in the bathtub.

[Erica]

Nice. You look good for 1978.
Well, at least you are a year younger than me if it makes you feel better.

[Parsing Nonsense]

Aw, I'm so bummed I missed you while you were here! I know Bellevue like the back of my hand, I probably could have helped you find that restaurant!

It sounds like you were busy having so much fun, I'm glad you enjoyed your visit!

[Laurie]

Yes, something was wrong with what the waitress said. I had a patient last week say I looked REALLY young to be a nurse. I got all flattered and said, "oh well, I'm probably a bit older than what I look." Not to brag, it's just I have HEARD that before! He said, "what, are you like 40?" So apparently, I don't so much look younger (I'm 30) than he just thought it takes a really, really long time to become a nurse!

[Rbelle]

I have the exact same issue with my hair, and in fact the last time it happened (oh, a month ago), got it cut from shoulder-length to pixie, much to my husband's chagrin. In fairness to me, I have a six-month old and do not enjoy unclenching her hands from my hair. So that's one excuse. But mostly, I was just sick of looking at myself. Now, every time I look in the mirror, it's a bit of a surprise, although not always a pleasant one. Turns out, shorter hair is harder, in some ways, to upkeep. Oh, and I'm a '78, so I REALLY hope that was her idea of some deadpan joke, because having just had my first child, I absolutely don't need to be imagining that the world at large thinks I'm old. I'm already pretty sure my babysitter finds me ancient, and that's quite enough, thanks.

[Lisa]

I can totally vouch for the online friends are real thing...and I would have ever thought I'd say such a thing a decade ago. But yeah... Real.

As for hair - go to Maude. They are fantastic and you can see Nikki for 45 bucks and you will not be sorry! A great woman owned, philanthropically minded business. Not to mention CUTEandTRENDY and totally hip. Www.maudehair.com. You will not be sorry!

[Christian Louboutin shoes]

Search for knowledge, read more, sit on your front porch and admire the view without paying attention to your needs.

[Lisa]

I was born in '76, and I am just now starting to feel weird about admitting that to people out loud. I have never, ever felt old. And now I've taken a very part-time summer job at the place I worked as a teenager, and I'm realizing that most of the crew (heck, most of the seasonal management) was born in the '90s. So now I feel weird about saying I was born in the '70s. It's not a decade I remember at all, but in the collective memory of everyone it was, like, a LONG time ago.

[Laura]

From your Reston neighbor (we emailed a few months ago). Went thru the same hair thing last weekend, chose a name & stylist of the internet. HIGHLY recommend Yana at PR at Partners at Reston Town Center. Cut & style for $40 and they give you $5 off is you make your next appt before you leave!