Back to reality

SIGH. So, NATURALLY, Lucy has decided to follow the crowd and bow to peer pressure, and is ramping up the defiant two-year-old thing. It's not too horrible yet – yes, she's perfected The Art of Going Boneless and if you try to tear her away from a display of Woody and Jessie dolls at Target she can thrash with the best of them (WHY, when our household is in possession of BOTH) but I can still reason with her when I need to.

Now, I don't reason with her when I need to leave Walmart and she's trying to drag a display of Pixar toys along with her. I just pick her up and take her. If I want her to do something and she's not doing it? Well she's two and she's not always going to understand why we need to leave when we do and after a certain amount of asking nicely, I just make the decision for her. If she doesn't like it, TOUGH.

In comparison, if we're at lunch after church and she wants to run around the restaurant without shoes on and take all the bags of potato chips out of the display and I have to stop her from doing that? The resulting tantrum is one I try to talk her out of. Not because I think she can really understand that wrecking potato chip displays is wrong, but because I want to stay at that restaurant and EAT because I am HUNGRY and Daddy is paying for our food and I don't want mine to get cold. I took her outside (ok, I'm blowing my cover here, this was not a hypothetical situation) and we chatted for a bit about listening to Mommy and she calmed down, but the kicker was that I had to remind her that she couldn't have dessert unless she sat down in her chair and ate her lunch and stopped acting like a raving lunatic.

Most of the time she is adorable and squeezable and charming. This morning she wandered into the bathroom as I was... uh, you know, USING it, and I pulled her over close to me and she pushed me away with disdain: “Mama, I don't want to get PEE PEE all over me!”

Unfortunately, she's also going through some kind of Bedtime Phase. At least, I FERVENTLY PRAY this is a phase, because my life would totally suck if this were to become the new normal. Every night Lucy is in bed by 8pm (Asher is in bed by 7:42 and asleep by 7:46), and every night for the last week or so, she's been keeping herself up until 9:30, having some sort of frat party in her crib. Some nights she also takes a giant crap right around 8:30, which she summons us for (over the monitor: “Maaaamaaaa. Daaaadaaaa. I poo poo in my diaper. I need a new diaper.”) and other nights she just squeals and has imaginary conversations that seem to go on for HOURS. And I wouldn't really mind all THAT much, after all, she is contained and happy, but when she's cranky and irritable the next morning, I TEND TO CARE. It's to the point where Dave and I have alternated nights rocking her to sleep, something we have not done for her in months and months and months.

Tonight she took it to a new level, though. We were quietly summoned by Her Highness around 8:30: “Mama? Dada? Mama? Dada?” Dave went upstairs and called for me a moment later. You know it's something bad/interesting/SUPER SHOCKING if the other parent needs you to see it, you know?

So I went upstairs and there's Lucy, totally buck naked from the waist down, and pretty darned proud of herself, too. So now she's undressing herself AND taking off her diaper after we put her in bed. It's funny in two ways, I guess, funny because, well, SHE TOOK OFF HER PANTS AND DIAPER, but also funny because she knew she didn't want to STAY that way; she called us up to rectify the situation. Girl knew she couldn't sleep in a puddle of PEE all night.

I don't know what to do about that if it continues. I've heard duct tape works and so does turning diapers or footie pjs around backwards but that seems uncomfortable NOT TO MENTION I just bought the CUTEST summer pjs for Lu last week ($3 marked down from $14) and they're SEPARATES so what am I supposed to do about that? I am hoping she loses interest in taking her pants off. Maybe the answer to that is to encourage her to take them off as much as she wants to during the day? I thought these kinds of children were Urban Myths, I swear. Asher, at Lucy's age, was the kind of child who I put in the crib at nap and bedtime and who LAID DOWN ON THE PILLOW and DIDN'T MOVE until he fell asleep. Like a little mini-adult! He never talked to himself or sang songs or requested books (which I know now was a leeeetle bit weird) but that's my benchmark, you know? From one extreme to the other. From child who practically holds a doctorate in sleep to one who is trying to avoid it altogether and is SUCCEEDING.

But those of you who have these crazy ones – the ones who take their diapers off and throw these trantrums of insanity and refuse to hold hands in a parking lot or let you put their shoes on for them – you'll agree with me: You just don't ever want to see them lose that spark. This kid has such a bright, amazing spirit and huge personality and I guess a roll of duct tape and a pair of backwards pajamas is a pretty small price to pay for getting to share my days (and, let's face it, lately my nights) with her.

Comments

[Lynda M O]

I often wonder why we keep having kids...

Best to you with her two’s--sounds like it is going to be a carnival ride for a few years.

[Kate]

I was sure you were going to walk upstairs to poop everywhere (which has happened to me and I don't recommend it). My son is a stripper and has been since he was about 18 months old. The only thing that works to keep the diaper on is using a diaper pin on the bottom of a onesie. He can easily unsnap the things but he can't manage the diaper pin. Diaper pins are available in packs of 8 for $2 at Babies R Us and are worth every penny. I don't know how big Lucy is but they have up to 24 month size onesies at Target.

ps: I admit I haven't tried the duct tape because we use cloth diapers but my FIL did once when my SIL was a baby and apparently it turned into a huge mess.

[Elsha]

Go to littlekeepersleeper.com and order some of their pajamas. They are the ONLY thing that Kalena couldn't get out of when she started her stripping phase. We did the onesie thing, but then she started taking off her diaper from underneath the onesie. They are SO worth the money for the peace of mind.

[karin]

The books call them spirited! I have one too and he constantly makes me laugh, but by the end of the day I am wiped out. Enjoy every minute!!

[Jennifer]

We didn't have a problem with clothes/diapers being taken off, but right before DS turned 2 he decided it was fun to climb out of his crib, sleeper and all. I thought he would realize I wouldn't budge after two weeks of putting him back into his crib relentlessly, but it went on for six months. He's 3.5 years now and has finally turned into a great sleeper (after introducing the sticker chart that is...). Good luck! And I love the picture of Lucy!

[Kerry]

I don't know if I'm allowed to comment since I'm not a mom, but my niece undresses (and talks and sings for an hour) too! My sister has tried it all- and the little monkey even managed to unfasten safety pins that were used to keep her pj's on (granted, they were fastened to a place where she could reach). Duct tape (or another type, like electrical tape) on the diaper has worked ok actually, and if my sister puts a safety pin over the zipper at the very top of her footie pajamas (like right at the neckline), my niece can't quite get to it. Still, my meddlesome-aunt self feels nervous about the tape- what if she gets it off the diaper (but it still stays taped in a ring shape) and chokes herself? Good luck with Lucy, and good for you for wanting to preserve her spunky spirit!

[lisa]

I have one of those and I know exactly what you mean! I love her independent streak and determination to "do it self!" even as it drives me crazy. Almost two years old and already intensely frustrated at not already being perfect at everything. (I, however, tend to identify more with the three-year-old whose problem-solving strategy tends toward saying, "I can't do it!" and seeing if someone else will do it for her.)

[beckyk]

I am so right with you right now! I just wrote on Facebook if there was a way to shake the extra words out of a kid before bed to end the 2-3 hour monologues coming from her room at night! And the boneless thing is a killer. We did have the pants off thing for a few days but she somehow lost interest and we've had bouts of bedtime pooing but again, it righted itself again - especially when daytime schedules and activities were pretty normal. Here's hoping it's a phase for you too!

[Jennifer]

I don't have a 2yo (yet), but I was visiting with my neighbor while her 2yo was supposed to be napping and after being "summoned" (I love how you use that word) upstairs, she found her kid lying in bed with her hands shoved down inside her poopy diaper. Then we all stood around watching her sit on the toilet trying to make another "stinky." Too funny. Mine is only 5 months, so I'm (naively?) looking forward to the age of personality!! Good luck :)

[OurLittleAshley]

No advice, seeing as how my child is 6 months old....just glad to hear that the stereotype of girls being sweet and good and boys being wild and bad ISN'T always the case. ;)

[Branwen]

What is it with the pooping after they are already in bed?! Our 2 1/2 year old thinks that is the way to go too, and it often keeps him up late (then there is the 7 month old who likes to wake up early and load her diaper...not fun). Lucy sounds like a normal kiddo and she is lucky to have such wonderful parents to help her learn how to channel it all.
Absolutely love the picture!

[Maureen]

I swear we are living the exact same life!

My 2.5yo is totally throwing a rave each night with his stuffed animals. They either have a conversation or an all-out bare knuckles cage match.

His 4yo brother who sleeps in the room next door is able to sleep right through it all.

Weird.

[heather]

I'm sorry, so sorry to say this, but when my two year old gave up sleeping (sometimes he would sing and play until midnight!) we had to stop the naps. Completely. Upside- he fell asleep by 8:00 and was fairly well-rested the next day, downside- no more naps. I found that the pros outweighed the con. Maybe worth a try? She might be too tired to get naked after being up all day...

[amy]

I had to cut out naps way before 2. My daughter slept 11.5 hours no matter how I broke it up, so a 2-hour nap meant she only slept 10-7:30. No thanks. I'll take 8-7:30, and that's what we've done for like 2 years now. She's also "spirited." Afternoons get rough sometimes but we try to do a`"quiet time" with movies, coloring, Tag books, etc., preferably in her room.

[Mandi]

Hi Emily!
I haven't commented in a long time, but I still read, and I had to comment this time. So, you've met Grant. Remember him? This post could be about Grant. And now that he's 4 and a half, like Asher, he's STILL THAT KID. We live with sticker charts and rewards. And SuperNanny tips, when I'm at wit's end. He's high energy, high spirit, all the time. He still hates sleeping, too, so good luck with that.

[Laura M]

At 18 months we had to take a side off my daughter's crib because she was starting to climb over the side and it wasn't safe. At that point we found out that she had also figured out how to open door knobs as we were summoned to her room by calls over the monitor, of "mommy, daddy, I STICKY, I STICKY." Yeah she somehow opened a tub of Vicks vapor rub (kept in her closet) and slathered every inch of her body. Needless to say trying to bathe her was a chore and she had a menthol smell for days. Not cute in the moment, but I will love telling her about it when she has her own kids.

[Heather R]

My older child is exactly the same way....and they kind of look alike and she even has that sweatshirt. She is 4 now and incredible independent. She only just starting to give up naps a few days a week, even though she has had several "phases" like the one your describing, both for naps and bedtime. Just stay strong and consistent and she will go back to sleeping normally....until her next phase.

Although, I have to mention that my daughter doesn't fall asleep until 9 on days when she naps and that has been going on for about a year (since she turned 3). But it has been SO clear that she NEEDS the nap up until recently, that we just dealt with the 9:00 bedtime so we could have a normal dinnertime.

[mandie]

My two-and-a-halfer is doing this, too. Not so much with the party, but yes so much with the nudity. I've started putting a onesie on him over a pair of 2 piece pajamas. It looks really awesome. I'm just glad he's kind of a peanut and I can still cram him into a 24 month onesie. For now, that's keeping him clothed. I'm sure he'll outsmart me in another 3 days or so and I'll have to break down and do the duct tape thing.

[Leigh]

For what it's worth, my younger daughter also had a hard time going to sleep as a toddler and would stay up until 10 or 11:00. She wasn't as sweet about it as Lucy seems to be, though--she wasn't easy to put down and then called for us a LOT.

But she grew out of it and by the time she was 4 or 5 she was pretty much putting herself to bed with no fuss, and she now gets mad if we disturb her beauty rest.

[Erica]

Yup, I've got one of those "spirited" ones too. I just take it day by day. Good luck. Keep us updated on what works.

[Sheila]

I've always sworn that I wanted only boys... but if I have a girl in October who smiles like Lucy, I will happy.

[Jessica]

Just this morning my daughter decided it would be nice to strip and run around the house (for the first time). Luckily, she doesn't yet know she can take off her own diaper. Once she was down to only the diaper, she asked me to take it off and I said no. I'm sure its just a matter of days until she figures it out.

[Michelle]

Joshua went through a stripping phase. We just put the diaper on backwards so he lost access to the tabs. You could also put on on the correct way then put another over it backwards. The top diaper doesn't get soiled you could use it more than once.

Love your posts!

[Dezzie]

I (twice) found my daughter strip naked in her bed... poo all over it... and her screaming... dirty! dirty!... I haven't shared that with people around me... they don't have children :)

[Molly]

My daughter is almost exactly Lucy's age (I found you at Parents.com when I was first pregnant!). She is so similar to your Lucy - and, yes, I love the spark. :) We went through this stripping thing just a month or so ago - the backwards jammies have done the trick for us. I just got the inexpensive footie ones from Old Navy and cut the feet out. The one night we tried her again in regular jammies she was out of them in a flash. Good luck to you!