Regurgitated eggs look just like regular eggs, to tell you the truth

We bought a car over the weekend! WOOOOO! This is particularly exciting for two reasons: 1) we bought a NEW car (something I haven't done in FIFTEEN YEARS), and 2) IT'S MINE, ALL MINE, TO DRIVE. Dave is now driving the hand-me-down car, our 2003 Honda CR-V, which is still a perfectly acceptable vehicle, though its pretty worn down in the looks and features department. I feel slightly guilty about this, but I know that Dave wants me to drive the new car (we bought it specifically for me, the person who corrals two small children daily) and I am trying to remember that he has been driving the newer/shinier/WITH LEATHER AND HEATED SEATS AND SATELLITE RADIO of our two cars for the last three years. So it's officially my turn, whether or not I feel a lingering guilt over coming into the house with the smell of New Car clinging to my clothes.

(It's a Mazda CX-9, which is the car you buy when you probably should just go ahead and get a minivan but are really hoping to hold on to your dwindling youth for a few more years.) (And it looks just like this.)

Usually I love doing research on big purchases, but in this case, I left most of the decision-making process up to Dave. He ended up finding a great deal online and driving nearly 50 miles away to buy it and I didn't have the least amount of interest in going with him. He bought a car that will belong to me, that will be mine to drive, and I didn't even care to see it before he signed on the dotted line. Part of that is due to the fact that cars aren't really my bag, you know? I drive them, but I don't read magazines dedicated to them or salivate over the fast, expensive ones or know how to repair a carburetor like my husband does. But mostly, I think it was a trust thing. Although we talked through everything together before we made a purchase, I let him make the ultimate decision: New or used? Black or silver? Upgrade to leather and moonroof or save $2000?

It was kind of strange, in a way, to relinquish every single itty bit of power to him, but it was also very freeing. At one point I even said, you know? I don't even care; I just want you to do what you think is right, and whatever that is, I know I'll be fine with it, because I'll know you were thinking of me and what would be best for us. And I completely and totally am. It goes both ways, after all. I relinquished all that power to him, but he didn't take it and run with it and use it to serve himself. He respected me by doing exactly what he thought would benefit and please us both. I love love love it when there are situations in a marriage like this, where he and I are in perfect trust and alignment with a big decision, because I like to look back on it when we're in the middle of a harder situation and remind myself that my husband has always shown that he has my best interests in mind.

It was the same when I enrolled Asher in preschool. Dave and I talked about preschool, and I reviewed options with him and we discussed what we could reasonably spend, but when it came down to making the big decision, I did it all myself. He didn't go with me to an open house, he didn't meet a teacher, he didn't make a phone call or send an email. He believed that I would make the decision that benefitted our family and our child the best, and I feel so honored that he would trust me like that. I mean, don't get me wrong, we don't do this perfectly all the time, but we are working hard at it and it is so awesome to be in a relationship where the other person is really as invested in and respectful towards you as you long to be towards them. Year Eight of marriage is turning into a really good one. (Hand in there, Year Sevens. That one was rough.)

Anyway, so the car was one of the highlights of the weekend – the low point being about 15 minutes after Dave left to go buy the car on Saturday morning, which is when Asher turned to me and made a gurgling sound and then barfed all over the carpet. I was supposed to be hosting a baby shower that morning AND we'd made reservations at a hotel that night an hour away to celebrate birthdays with two other couples. EXCELLENT TIMING, ASHER. It wasn't until he puked that I remembered LAST YEAR'S debacle, when we'd made a hotel reservation for my birthday and had to eat the cost of it because Lucy came down with a 103.5 degree fever and hand, foot and mouth disease that very same morning. HA HA HA KIDS, THIS IS SO FUNNY WITH THE BIRTHDAY RUINING THING. I ended up taking the kids to the baby shower – Asher laid down on the floor of the playroom at my parents' house and watched the entire Toy Story trilogy (in the wrong order, naturally) and thankfully, by the time the shower was over, he was feeling good enough that Dave and I were able to go away after all.

And because we are classy, we went to a casino and race track in West Virginia. It was every bit as awesome as you can imagine it was (SWEATPANTS AND MULLETS EVERYWHERE), and I bet on a horse named Hot and Bothered and won $14 whole dollars. And we fit all six people into our new car to drive to dinner and laughed until our eyes leaked and our sides hurt and it was a pretty freaking awesome weekend and by the end of it I'd almost forgotten what regurgitated eggs on a carpet looked like, anyway.

Comments

[NGS]

New cars are soooo exciting!!

[Simply Complex]

Ugh, year 8 was bad for us. Very bad.

[Kate]

Okay I've got the CX-9 and it's AWESOME and I'm totally with you on the no minivan vibe - BUT one word of caution - the doors are WIDE and if the wind catches them they'll bang the shit outta the car next to you and I'm talking from the experience of leaving several notes on cars. (ugh, stomach turn) So on a windy day - park in the back!

Love,
the chick that may or may not have dinged your car but was nice enough to leave a note.

[maggie]

Oh dude, we ended up with the Mazda 5. SO the nerdy sibling in the Mazda family. Sigh. Anyway, just wanted to slap you a high five on the Year Eight stuff, and tell you that we ALSO spent a night at a casino recently and while the clientele was sort of sad, we had a blast. KLASSY!

[Lynda M O]

We bought out last car the same way-OO brought it to me and asked if I liked it. My response, “Move over and let me take you to the dealership to get your bike and then I am on my way to work.” We have had it for eight years and it is by far the best car we have ever had. We have been married 25 years and it gets better every year.

[Catherine]

I have a CX-9 and would make out with it if I could. And talk about guilt--my husband bought it for me the day after he got home for his mid-tour leave during a DEPLOYMENT. That's right, my awesome Army husband bought me a new car when he's the one who's gone to Kuwait for a year. What can I say, he's awesome! Anyway, I lovelovelove this car. And it's nothing like a minivan, I DO NOT DRIVE A MINIVAN.

[megan]

We are very similar when making BIG decisions around here, although we have been married 14 years and it took a long time to get there. Although, I wold probably still have a little to say about the car if it was my turn to get a new one (it so is but my car is running fine and paid off and the right size for three kids so it doesn't look likely any time soon and it is a mini van. Wooooo!) You know what would be on my list? The hands free answer the phone thing. And the map (although I spend the majority of my days driving around the same 5 square miles. Still.)

[Life of a Doctor's Wife]

I love that you guys can make decisions that way. My husband and I are still in this stage of being unable to make big decisions alone for fear of Doing It Wrong. Hopefully we'll eventually get past that!

Glad your birthday turned out well!

[barbetti]

Oooh new cars! The newest car we've ever owned is our current, but it's a 2002 anyway. Stephen tried talking me into the minivan, but besides the uncool factor - I hate driving them. So we bought a Mitsubishi Montero. It's leather, seats 7 (!) and my father calls it "another Mormon assault vehicle".

[HereWeGoAJen]

My mom claims that getting regurgitated rice out of the carpet is the worst.

Hooray for the new car! I've never had a new car, but I get the next one, in a couple of years.

[A'Dell]

The decision thing is SO NICE when it works out, isn't it? Chris lets me do all things related to doctors and education and I generally let him do any decisions/research related to electronics and cars. We both know who is best suited to make a decision for each category and we just trust each other to make the best decision. It has worked out really well so far. I love all of his computery crap and my car and he loves our doctors and school.

Where we often do not agree is furniture, household decor, financial institutions/services. But, hey, at least we have SOME things that it works out on.

[Lisa]

I think we live parallel lives - we just bought a new Honda Pilot - the other car you buy when you probably need a minivan but just flat out refuse to go there, and my son woke up puking on Saturday too. Ugh. Glad you had a great weekend getaway after all. And yeah - mullets and sweatpants - totally pegs it!
PS. Going on year 15 over here and it only gets better. <3

[Aunt Carol]

I seem to remember a certain girl who had an awesome convertable and then wanted a better one when her brother got a new one. Hmmm. Cars are not your thing?

[Emily]

I have to call you out, Aunt Carol! I kept that convertible until I was 28 and married!! :)

[Aunt Carol]

Oh, sorry. I guess you just wanted a new one. The point being that you were into the cars just a wee bit. Remember when you came on vacation with us and drove the car. What fun that was. Great laughs. Especially at uncle trolly.

[Parsing Nonsense]

Those are the really excellent moments in a marriage, aren't they? Wes and I handle stuff like that in a similar fashion, with each of us researching to our particular strengths. The kind of trust that come with knowing a person for many years is a beautiful thing!