We interrupt this prolonged blog absence for a rant about wet changing tables and broken playgrounds. Ahem.

We took Asher to Six Flags America for his birthday. They built a Thomas Town there, and it is just as unbelievably ridiculous as you can imagine, not because it's crazy over the top or insanely expensive but just because we are talking TRAINS with TALKY FACES and CREEPY ROLLY EYES and I won't even mention the horrible excuse for music they use and yet, SOMEHOW, it all commands the attention and devoted allegiance of children ALL OVER THE WORLD. So naturally they built a pint-sized theme park and it's basically Disney World for kids like Asher who can manage to sit through an episode of Thomas and Friends that contains three different (sometimes totally pointless) stories and two brainteasers but who cannot fathom an hour and a half of ONE CONTINUOUS STORYLINE, WHAAAAAA?

We are going to go to Disney World and he is going to have zero idea about what anything is, because I can't get him to watch anything longer than the fire scene in Bambi. He loves the fire scene in Bambi.

Anyway, so he loved Thomas Town blah blah blah. (Not that we ever doubted he would.) We rode all the rides and swatted at bees and played at the enormous, awesome playground. Then we had lunch, and Lucy crapped her pants, as per her Must Fill Diaper Whenever Mama Raises Her First Bite To Her Lips agreement. So I took her to the restroom.

The restroom had only one changing table, and it was occupied. So we waited.

We waited, and I watched as a woman changed her soaking wet three-year-old on top of it. (There is a spray fountain in the Thomas Town section of the park.) The girl was standing up on top of the changing table while her mom stripped her down and put clothes back on her. Which, okay, I totally get it if you don't want to stand your kid on the ground when you're changing her if she doesn't have shoes on her feet. A public restroom in a theme park isn't the bathroom at the Ritz, I know, but I was kind of annoyed that we were waiting for a changing table that was occupied by a child who didn't have poop smeared all over her rear end. We were waiting for a kid who was CHANGING CLOTHES. Put SHOES on her and change her on the floor or something since she can STAND UP, FOR THE LOVE.

But I promise you, I was really probably only annoyed that I was hungry, and having to wait for what seemed like FOREVER while this kid finally got her clothes on.

EXCEPT THEN, the kid's mom took her sopping wet clothes and WRUNG THEM OUT ALL OVER THE FLOOR OF THE RESTROOM. We are not talking here about a LOCKER ROOM, with a DRAIN IN THE FLOOR. We are talking about a bathroom, in a theme park, that is nothing more than a public restroom except probably dirtier. She wrung buckets of water out of this kid's clothes, and then casually exited the bathroom with the kid tucked under her arm.

So do you know what I was treated to? I was treated to a floor under the changing table that had an inch of standing water underneath it, and a changing table that looked much the same. This woman thought for some reason that she wasn't responsible for her own mess, so she left ME to dry off the wet changing table myself, and stand in her kid's runoff in my flip flops. Kind of difficult to do when there are only automatic hand dryers and you have to use TOILET PAPER and when the floor underneath the table is so wet and slippery that you can't put your kid down without fearing she'd fall down and DROWN IN AN ENORMOUS PUDDLE.

I don't think I have to tell you that I was INCENSED. Who do these people think they are? I mean, COMMON COURTESY! I think the worst part was that I WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE. Waiting my turn. She KNEW that. I almost could understand (not EXCUSE, but understand) if no one had been in the room, and she'd done what she did and got away with it anonymously. I mean, it still would have been wrong and rude but to do it when someone is standing there, WAITING? It's like she took a marker and wrote “I AM SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU” on the wall.

Likewise, we went to a favorite restaurant after church a couple of weeks ago and the playground adjacent to the restaurant was closed. It's a fenced-in playground, perfect for the preschooler age, and my kids love it. But the entrance gate was locked, and the fence had yellow CAUTION tape wrapped all the way around it, and there were traffic cones marking spots inside the playground where there were giant holes in the padded flooring.

So yes, holes in the flooring looked to be the only problems with the playground, as far as I could tell, but then again, who knows? There was no sign listing the exact problems they needed to fix before it could reopen. So you know what we told our kids? Sorry, Asher and Lucy. We know you want to play at the playground, but the gate is locked and there's tape around it telling us it's unsafe so the answer is no. And I'd say 90 percent of the other parents loitering around the area did the same. Sure, we were all disappointed. Maybe we were even a little irritated, because really? HOLES? Those holes are all that's preventing us from playing here? But at the same time, we all clearly understand the reasoning – lawsuit for a twisted or broken ankle, anyone?

Then I watched as several kids were lifted over the locked gate and security fence by their parents and encouraged to play in the playground anyway. I wanted to punch those parents in the face, I KID YOU NOT. I know what they saw: holes. I saw them too. Not such a big deal if you have older kids with good body control, right? Especially when there are traffic cones over the flooring flaws reminding you they exist?

But what I also see are people who think they are better – and more entitled - than everyone else. This goes beyond whether or not it was unsafe - it was disrespectful and self-righteous and a particularly bad example to set for their kids. These kids, who through this experience were basically told by their parents, “Eh, do what you WANT to do, not what you're SUPPOSED to do.”

I know, it's just a playground. It's just a changing table. But there's a part of me that wonders whether this might just the way the world is now. And MAN that's depressing.

(Although, you could totally cheer me up by sharing your own Obviously Crappy Parenting story, you know. If you were so inclined.)

Comments

[jenn]

WOW! I totally would have followed that woman out of the restroom yelling at her to please clean up your puddle. WOW. When I was in highschool I worked at a water park in the summer and a woman changed her kids crapped on swimsuit... the proceded to fling the poop at the toilet... yeah at it... none made it in. then she just walked away like well you can clean that up. Maybe they are related?

[Sarah]

Yes, people who think they are above the rules really cheese me off. I am so with you on that one!

[Melani]

We are a "rule following" family so there are few days that I don't get annoyed by something. Parents in car lines are my biggest annoyance right now. I guess either their precious baby can't wait in the line or they are WAY too important (my money's on the 2nd) to wait in line so they blaze past the line and then block the exit while unloading their kids. OR they park in the should be moving line, get out of the car and walk their child in all the while blocking 20 cars behind them. I have my 13 year old walk to the park near his school in the afternoons in order to avoid the chaos (and to keep my head from exploding).

I realize in the grand scheme of things, this is not a big deal. It just drives me crazy how many parents think they are more important or exempt from the rules.

[Carrie]

Normally I really try to give other parents the benefit of the doubt as to why they are doing what they are doing because I cannot count the number of things I swore I would never ever do when I had kids and then, yep, I did them (put my kid on a leash? Why yes, I have!). However, the woman in the bathroom is ridiculous!! Seriously,it is horribly rude to do that when no one is there, but to do it when someeone is waiting to use it next totally blows my mind. She might has well have flipped you off while she walked out the door! Hmph! Well, I am offended for you if it makes you feel any better.

I don't know why I can't think of any bad parenting stories right now, but I have to tell you that we just took our kids to Disneyworld (ages 2 and 4) and you must, must, must get the Unofficial Guide to Disneyworld with Kids (it's a book). Seriously, it is the best book ever for obsessive vacation planners. I was a total FA-REEK about planning our vacation (hello, spreadsheets with hourly itineraries anyone? Yippee!) and this book was the best. I know you've mentioned how you love to plan vacations so I thought I'd give you the recommendation. Also, definitely sign up for the on-line access to their website...it will be the best $5 you ever spent.

[Mandi]

I'm not going to share my stories because that would add fuel to your fire about how this is the way of the world now (which, I know, in some small part, it certainly IS the way the world is now), but sometimes it just helps me to remember that it is not the way the WHOLE world is now, and there are still plenty of people who do the right thing and teach their kids to do the right thing. Even though there are plenty of jerks who feel comfortable walking all over those people.

[heather]

I teach. Evidence of the "Entitlement Complex" being the epidemic of the times surrounds me.

[Simply Complex]

I really, truly, could not have said it better myself. I keep hoping for The Return Of Common Sense and Courtesy, but I fear it is gone forever. It seems nearly every action in society leans towards coming out ahead by being selfish and feeling entitled. Even children's sports now where you cant keep score, etc. It prevents them from learning to cope and basically tells them there is no reward in life for effort, you just have to show up. I'm sure this all sounds melodramatic and everything, but I feel all of this stuff is intertwined and making our society poor, sad, and bordering on socialistic.

[Jaime Gold]

So we were at Sea World on Sunday with a big group of families for their Halloween Spooktacular party. There were several "treat stations" where the kids could trick or treat along a path. Each treat station had a winding line in front of it with probably 20 to 30 kids each. One of the moms I was with just kept walking up to the front of the line, grabbing candy out of the bins, and stuffing her kids' baskets! I was shocked! 1, that she would do something so blatantly non-rule following. But 2, that she would set this example for her kids! And to top it off, she owns a preschool!

[Wiz]

This isn't about kids but just rude people in general, but it is a pet peeve of mine when I am at a crowded restaurant that has a line to order food and then you are supposed to grab your seat, and people "save" their tables with purses, jackets or other belongings. So here I am (a rule follower) walking with my tray of food and not being able to find a table because people still in line with NO FOOD YET have saved their table. Drives me crazy!!

I was at one of these restaurants with a coworker who was walking around looking for a table and finally one opens up. As he is walking towards it, a woman in line looks at him and then plops her purse on the table before he could get there! Unbelievable!

[Karen]

I once lived in a very smallish town, and we had a Hallmark store that had a Thomas train table in it. Not that I shop at Hallmark all that much, but once my (then) two year old discovered there was a train table in there, he'd beg to go there.

So every once in a while we'd go, just to get out of the house. I'd sit in a chair nearby and read a book, keeping an eye on his behavior and making sure he didn't wander off.

One day, this woman and her little son (probably 2 as well) came in, and she brought him to the train table, and said, "Mommy will be over there," pointing vaguely to the other side of the store, and nodding AT ME. As if I was a hired babysitter or some such crap.

Needless to say, her son was a terror. His idea of "sharing" was to grab trains from other kids, and more than once I had to literally get down to his level and tell him that if he didn't stop being mean, I'd go find his Mommy. He whined. He screeched. All the while his "Mommy" was browsing the damn card aisles.

Finally, FINALLY, she came back. She looked at me and said brightly, "How'd he do?" OH my God, she really thought I was fine with watching her little Damien. I said, "He has trouble sharing." She nodded and said, "Yeah, we're working on that."

OH, ARE WE REALLY? Gah.

Then there was the mom at Barnes and Noble who let her three year old wander around, going up to older kids asking them to read her a book. It was pathetic. I heard the mom say, "Oh, honey, there's a big kid, I bet he can read to you." She was pointing at my son. (Bear in mind the mom was literate, I had heard her reading out loud to her other child a few minutes before. She COULD read to her kid, she just wanted to socialize through her child.) My son looked at me, alarmed, and I said nicely to the little girl, "Sweetie, my son wants to go look for his own books, so he can't read to you right now. Why don't you ask your mommy if she can read to you?"

GAH.

[Laurie]

You are so right about the common courtesy thing. I took my son to a really nice park here in KC & my husband didn't go with. I had to follow him up on the big play thing or he would do something crazy like try to climb down a ladder (& "hi!", he's only 1, so that would not end well). So he went down the slide, which he's done about a million times on his own by now & obviously, I couldn't be in two places at once, so there was noone at the bottom to catch him. But somehow this time, his shoes got stuck, he got turned around mid-slide & then at the bottom, he somehow did a twist in the air & face-planted on the ground. It was quite a little stunt I wouldn't have believed it possible if I hadn't seen it myself. And you know what? Not one of the 50 douchebag, pretentious, a-hole parents that were standing around watching the kids play said a damn thing to me. No one asked if he was OK or if they could do anything to help as I comforted my BLEEDING 20-month-old. There was nothing they could do to help, but COME ON! At least be polite.

I think the problem is that there's a lack of community these days. None of us feel responsible for our neighbors, especially if we don't know them. Everyone's just looking out for #1. I'm really trying to lead by example though, because I want my kid to be courteous to others. So despite the douchebaggery around us, we must persevere!

[Life of a Doctor's Wife]

This kind of thing makes me FURIOUS. I know it's a little thing, but it's a symptom of the larger infection of "The Rules Don't Apply to ME" that's sweeping the country. Grrr.

I don't have a bad parenting story, but when my husband and I drove up the Blue Ridge Parkway last week, we saw signs everywhere that said "Do not pull off the road UNLESS at a designated pull out." And all the pull outs were clearly marked. But people were pulled over on the grass ANYWAY, snapping pictures like the rules weren't talking to THEM.

Oh - here's a parent-related one. We were hiking and came across some big boulders, next to which was a sign that said clearly, "Do Not Climb on the Boulders." And a dad used the sign to brace himself as he and his small kids climbed up to sit on the top boulder. It's the kind of thing that makes you desire an avalanche. (Okay not REALLY. I don't want anyone to die - not even the Blatant Rule Flouters.)

[Maggie]

Okay I don't know if this is Bad Parenting or just flat out crazypants, but I had some lady ask me to watch her kid while she went to get a coffee. I said yes because I was so flustered I didn't know WHAT to say - but she was a STRANGER and she only half pointed out her kid before she DISAPPEARED to walk about a block to STARBUCKS. She was gone about 15 minutes and when she came back she thanked me profusely, but not profusely ENOUGH, you know. Crazypants!

[CK]

This does make it sound like our society is falling apart (and don't get me wrong, I agree that this is a bad thing and I hear stories everyday about awful parenting from my private-school-teacher husband), but if it makes you feel any better, all this "the rules aren't for me" stuff has been the way of the world in most western European countries for a very long time. Seriously, the Germans? Those people will physically shove you out of their way to cut in line. Really, spend three weeks in Germany, and you will want to MARRY that woman from the bathroom by the end of it.

[Freezesbeautifully.wordpress.com]

Oh, do not get me STARTED. I was at Old Navy the other day, with my kid in one of those stroller carts, and got in line- the checkout line is an aisle shaped like a u, where you turn at the end of the u to get to the cash registers. The woman in front of me ALSO had a kid in a stroller cart, and she got to the top of the U and instead of turning, picked up her kid and left the stroller cart there- completely and fully blocking the aisle. So I couldn't go forward or move her cart w/o abandoning my own child. And she turned, from the cash register, as I was struggling to move her abandoned cart out of the way, and just STARED as a random sales associate finally helped me. I came very, very close to having words with her.

My older kid doesn't do movies, either, but LOVES Disneyland. Do you have the promotional DVD that shows the Magic Kingdom? That thing is like crack. But, honestly, even if they know nothing about it, Disney is magic for kids.

[Erica]

I would be so mad at that woman if that happened to me. I hate walking into someone else's mess in the bathroom, let alone watching them make it. One of my pet peeves is parents who let their children play with my kid's toys that we brought to the playground without asking me. And I could even overlook playing with the small toys, but when the kid starts riding around on my girl's tricycle, and they just smile?

[craftyashley]

She really couldn't have wrung out her kid's clothes in the SINK? That would have been too much trouble?! That's just pathetic.

[Lisa]

I feel like I experience this every day (though I live in Los Angeles so maybe that's why). Last week I was at Trader Joe's, and the parking lot was nuts as it always is, and since you can't bring your cart to your car without getting mowed down, I was carrying my loads of groceries in my tote bags awkwardly, along with a pumpkin. The woman next me parked had literally like a foot away from my car, and as I was taking the (30 seconds?) to put my groceries in the passenger side backseat, she breezed by me, hopped in her car and STARTED BACKING UP. While I was right there, probably two inches away from the wheels of her car. And I was startled and dropped my pumpkin that I had taken time to choose and the perfect stem broke off. I was so annoyed. Doesn't etiquette dictate that if someone is standing between your car and their car, you wait for them to get into their car before you start moving your car? And literally it took me less than a minute to load up my groceries, it's not like I was taking forever. This is just one dumb example but I feel like it happens every day.

[Jill]

I totally agree with you. Other parents make it so difficult to raise kind, respectful kids. I have to bite my tongue everyday because I want to tell so many people, "You're doing it wrong!"

[Jessica]

The one that DRIVES me BATTY is when you are in line somewhere and another register opens up and they say, "I'll take the next person in line." and people RUSH OVER. People FROM THE BACK. You were not the next person in line! You were the last! I make a REALLY big effort to say things all passive aggressive like when that happens. Which, probably doesn't help.

Also, Heather's comment from up above about teaching? So true. It is sad.

[Nothing But Bonfires]

Oh god, I don't even have children and people already annoy me so much with the rudeness and the entitlement; what am I going to be like when I DO have children and I find that there are other, child-centric things that people can do to piss me off? I might need to start carrying around a straitjacket for myself. The things that make me MOST angry are line-cutters. Really? I'm going to stand here for twenty minutes and then you're just going to PUSH in? It's worst at airports, when they're calling Group 3 or whatever, and PEOPLE FROM GROUP 4 TRY TO SNEAK IN AS WELL. Drives me nuts! I get a sick satisfaction when the ticket-taking person sends them back because they're not in Group 3. Doesn't happen often enough though.

Regarding the changing table woman, I totally would have had words with her. STRONG WORDS. I used to be so shy and now I find myself speaking up to people like that, often without even thinking it through properly first. CONFLICT! GIVE ME CONFLICT!

[Codi]

My husband plays soccer. Games are 90 minutes. I have repeatedly seen parents who drag their children to the field while they play, with no one to supervise them. One summer my husband played on a team where both parents played. Their kids were and I am not kidding here 5 and 18 months!! Did they take turns playing so that one could watch the kids. No! Their kids ran around in the 95+ degree heat with no water and no supervision. They would tell their oldest child to watch his little brother. At one point their 18 month old fell off of the bleachers and was HANGING ON THE LEDGE! I had to rescue him. I am not purporting to be a stellar parent, my children can act up with the best of them, but even I know that you don't leave a 5 year old in charge of an 18 month old.

[auntie]

All I can say is "AMEN, SISTER! while I furiously nod my head in agreement.

[adequatemom]

I AM SO WITH YOU. Entitlement like that pisses me right the hell off. Unfortunately, I do think the world is a whole lot more like this than it used to be. All we (your awesome and non-entitled readers) can do is keep fighting the good fight

[youncrys]

Laurie, I have been threatened with physical violence if I ever dared so much as to tell my neighbor's two year old that my daughter wasn't going to take his toys that she was just going to play with them for a minute, or pick him up to keep him from running into the street, or take his hand to lead him back to the driveway where his mom was sitting (and not getting up to retrieve him) when he and my daughter were heading off around the edge of the house where no one could see them. (There is a spot in the other neighbors yard that leads through their grass and down onto a highway with traffic that has a 50 mph speed limit.) I was flabberghasted when people I thought of like family told me that if I even so much as looked at him in any kind of manner that I would get the shhhhhhoot kicked out of me. I tried to explain the concept of the village to her but she wouldn't hear it. The way she was talking you would think I was intentionally abusing her child. I was only trying to keep him from getting hurt. No wonder it is so hard to raise kids these days.