Yes. Nineteen months. I'm insane.

One of the hardest things for me about being a stay-at-home parent is the fact that it's not at all goal-oriented. And I wouldn't even say I'm a completely goal-oriented person, but back when I had a paying job, I had things I worked towards. They weren't fun things or even very important things, but my paycheck and [very miniscule] yearly raise depended on me doing them, and doing them right. I had responsibilities and I met deadlines and once I met those deadlines, I got new ones. Definitive ones. There was no, “Well, it's not going so well, so let's just put this off another week or two until we're a little more emotionally ready.” In other words, work was nothing like potty training.

Motherhood is way less cut and dry; yes, there are deadlines and things we're working towards, but nothing is really set in stone and some of those goals I'm working towards are EIGHTEEN YEARS down the road. Raising children is a process, so whenever you get one thing good and licked, another one pops up that needs attention. It's nonstop action; like Parenting Whack-A-Mole. I miss that aspect of work, actually. Sometimes it's nice to know that despite all the hard work and effort, there's a stopping point not too far off ahead. Every project has an end date (unless you work for the United States Government). You go ahead and try to find a nice stopping point in any aspect of parenthood. No seriously, go ahead. I'LL WAIT.

This, I think, is why I get a little... overzealous about things like Planning a Family Vacation. It's something to look forward to; something to shop and gather in preparation for. A stopping point, if you will. A change of scenery, a break in the action. It gives me something very concrete to focus on. This is sometimes hard for my husband to understand, I think, but I get that, because he's at WORK all day. Here at home, the days just somehow stretch into weeks and the weeks into months and there are only gradual changes to note. Only after months go by can I look back and say, “Oh yeah! Look how different he/she/they is/are now!” Meanwhile Dave is finishing up another project, dusting off his hands and starting something completely new. Also, last year he got a raise. I took on TWICE THE WORKLOAD and LONGER HOURS and there is LESS MONEY THAN EVER.

Anyway, all that to tell you that we're kind of hoping to take a Big, Official Disney Vacation at some point. Perhaps in December. OF TWO THOUSAND ELEVEN, at the earliest. Um, that would be... approximately nineteen months from now, also known as two whole months longer than Lucy has even been ALIVE. Oh, don't worry, I haven't made any actual plans and nothing's set in stone. I'm just researching and number-crunching and COMPLETELY ENJOYING IT. I love comparison shopping and seeking out deals and making lists and reading tips and HEY.

SPEAKING OF TIPS. So, I have been spending time on this one particular website and I DO think it's helpful and wonderfully done but one of the tips someone sent in with regards to the Magic Kingdom was something along the lines of, “Try to get out and walk often for a few weeks before your trip, so that you can build up your stamina to make it through the parks!” And I almost FELL DOWN I was so boggled. Look, I know that Disney is a massive undertaking. It's a bazillion acres of attractions and marketing and overpriced food and *magic*, which is the most overused word I've ever seen on a message board in ALL MY LIFE but PEOPLE. Listen UP. Get in shape so you can live your LIVES, not just so you can get from Pirates of the Caribbean to It's a Small World without having to sit down on a bench with a Frozen Lemonade and a giant Turkey Leg, okay? Get in shape because it FEELS GOOD. Get in shape to be HEALTHY. Get in shape to be an EXAMPLE to your KIDS, and then so you can do things WITH them. Be motivated by LIFE, not just by giant MICE.

I mean, the tip was a good tip, don't get me wrong. You can't sit on your couch for six straight years and then expect to get a lot out of a vacation that requires you to walk three or more miles a day in the broiling Florida sun. But it made me SAD that there are people out there who aren't confident that they can make it through a whole day in a theme park without preparing themselves first. Seriously, America. Get yourselves off the couch! What are you going to do should the opportunity for a LAST-MINUTE VACATION present itself? Like the kind you can win on Wheel of Fortune? You are going to have to rent a WHEELCHAIR, is what will happen. (Perhaps Pat Sajak will just throw that in with your package.)

Gah, I hope no one's taking that the wrong way. I know I'm sometimes VERY guilty of Vacation-Induced Life Improvement (I exercised every day prior to my April vacation, remember?) but the older my kids get, the more excited I get to introduce them to new and different experiences, whether that's an all-out Disney vacation or an afternoon splashing in the creek behind our house. Their first trip to the aquarium or their first time down a water slide. My priority is to be able to do special things with them ALL the time, not just once every few years. I want to be hands-on and involved and able to swim with them in the ocean and hike through national parks and to chase them down in a parking lot full of cars, right before I take a switch to their hind ends because HOLD MY HAND, ALREADY, LIKE I TOLD YOU TO. (Kidding about the switch.) (I think.)

I always want to be able to participate, not just observe.

Comments

[H]

Very true - and hilarious!

[Raven]

There are few things I throw myself into as readily and with as much zeal as vacation planning. I LOVE it. Right now I am planning SFO/Yosemite in June and somewhere using our passports in July (possibly Costa Rica, London or Paris). One of the huge drawbacks of traveling stand-by is that I have had to learn how to be more a seat of my pants traveler and less of a plan ahead traveler. IT'S SO HARD!

[Cat]

Wait till you see how fat just about everyone is there! From what I hear...

[Elsha]

Parenting Whack-A-Mole. Yes, exactly.

Budgeting is where I put all my-- holy how do I not have concrete goals-- energy. I like numbers. I seriously considered (and I may still do this) making a chart of successes vs accidents on the potty training front, just so I could have some sort of physical evidence that things are at least going in the right direction.

Also yes on being motivated by life. (I say as I sit on my couch eating teddy grahams dipped in leftover birthday cupcake frosting.)

[Maggie]

I bought the Unofficial Guide for our Disney (Anaheim) trip (TOTALLY RECOMMEND, BTW) and there is a whole SECTION on getting in shape for your vacation. I could hardly believe it. Hilarious! (That's not why I recommend the book, in case you're wondering. Heh.)

I LOVED Disney. I LOVED taking my kids there. You are going to have a blast and a half.

[Candace]

We went for our honeymoon, we were there 8 days! All I can say is to definitely take that advice! I didn't have any trouble walking but I had about 2 full days of down time because my feet were COVERED IN BLISTERS. Maybe this was the shoes fault?? Ugh. Take good shoes!

Cat: I was one of the fat people there :) Yes, even Fat People can enjoy a good amusement park!

[Stacie]

So sad our trip is delayed til Pat is out of school (probably). That puts us into 2012 before we can go. However, he did have a business conference there this week so the kids and I went to the Magic Kingdom this weekend. We spent two whole days there. It's tiring to take kids to Disney. However I think you are in plenty of good shape to walk around the parks. You are in better shape than I and I'm not sore or aching because I walked all day Saturday and Sunday. Mostly you get tired from standing so much. Lines are long to meet princesses and fairies but you don't get winded standing in line. I love Disney.

[Stacie]

OH and one more thing, wear tennis shoes. The number of people I saw in fancy sandals with uncomfortable heels and buckles was ridiculous. They deserve every blister, back ache and other pain from wearing the wrong shoes they get. I mean HELLO you are at a theme park. You know you will be walking and standing in line all day. Wear comfortable walking shoes. I don't care if it's not as cute to wear your tennis shoes with your perfect little sundress. Your back and feet with thank you later.

[A'Dell]

Don't worry about walking. They'll rent you a scooter for something like $35/day.

PACK YOUR FANCY SHOES, EVERYONE!

[Linda]

I'm in the same place, thinking the same thoughts. (Except for Disney World. I want C to be at least 5 before we go.)

[HereWeGoAJen]

Disney, yeah! I am a Disney expert and you have full permission to email me whenever you want. :)

Also, yeah. And there are tired people all over Disney who have never walked that much in their life.

[Lisa]

Ha, this is sad b/c I'm going camping this weekend and I actually thought, hmm I should walk a few days this week so that I don't embarrass myself on the (possibly strenuous) hike we're planning to take with friends. BUT at the same time we took an impromptu trip with visiting family to Disneyland and California Adventure last month and I walked around just fine. So, yeah, not that bad.

[Steph]

A to the MEN. YES. I am absolutely with you on this one, even more so since I've had my son. I want to be able to keep up with him at all ages and stages (yes, even once we get past doing the "Barnyard Dance" moves all over the living room) but more than that I want him to see me as an example of healthy living. And even BEYOND that (can I go beyond going beyond?) I just plain feel better about myself when I am fit and exercising. Even if (when? nah, if) the number on the scale is small but I haven't been exercising, I still feel just...urgh. I like having muscle tone and I've found that I don't even CARE (truly! REALLY AND TRULY!) about the number on the scale if I'm working out on a regular basis. I don't even GET on the scale. I just like being able to run a few miles spontaneously or just being able to walk up stairs. It makes me a happier, more pleasant person to be around. I'm more confident which leaks over to all over aspects of my life--my son and husband like me more when I'm pleasant. ;-)

(I too am doing the "exercise every day before vacation"--first baby free vacay since he was born and Jillian Michaels has been kicking my butt for 21 days now. I LOVE the difference I see and feel and am really looking forward to that hotel with my husband now.)

I love what you wrote and so whole-heartedly agree.

(My little disclaimer that obviously this all applies solely to me personally and I'm not trying to force my feelings/opinions/attitudes onto anyone else and this may not be used without the expressed written consent...oh wait I think I got carried away.)

[Kris]

I walk everyday through my town, to work, etc. We went to Disneyland in Anaheim for my son's 4th birthday, and the blisters I had wasn't even funny. It's not a matter of being in shape, its a matter of moving nonstop for over 10 hours if you do it like we did. Between walking there, the lines, walking all over the park, etc, we put in more miles than someone training for a marathon. Wear comfortable shoes, and make sure they are comfortable before you go.

I've been planning the return trip since we left, and we aren't going back until May 2011. We were last there May 2009. I plan these things out like crazy.

[SRotten]

Ok, so I totally 100% agree with everything you said and took 0% by it. I have always been able to physically be on the go, go, go and I don't get tired or worn out while I am on the go (but I may crash as soon as I stop)- but my husband is the complete opposite. Now, I will admit that he weighs less that 130 pounds and is 5 foot 10 inches tall (i.e. if he were my child the state would be all over my ass because he is on the verge of looking malnourished) but that boy can't walk through the mall for two hours without feeling physically tired. TWO HOURS. Seriously. I can't even fathom how that happens because I have never experienced such a thing. I can walk all day! Every day.

[Tiah]

Physically, no problem. But mentally I'd have to do some serious training to handle Disney with my own children. Then again, if you are physically fit, I suppose you could just sprint away when the moaning gets too much...

[wordygirl]

"Be motivated by LIFE. Not just by GIANT MICE."
Emily, you are just so, so awesome!

Anyway, my measly little tip - which you might already know - is that you can look up the height requirements for different rides on the Disneyland website. I know it would be a total drag to show up and have Asher be just an inch too short to ride any of the stuff he wants to ride, or to have Asher be tall enough but Lucy's not, so she gets to just stand around and watch him have all the fun!

Also, I totally get what you're saying about the lack of goals/stopping points in parenthood. TOTALLY!

[Keli]

You are completely right! People are so lazy. We've been to DW for the past two years in a row (it took some restraint to take this year off...but we haven't made it through the year yet!) and you would not believe how many people rent the aforementioned scooters. Seriously, people drive them around, park them at a ride, HOP OFF and then go stand in line. You should need a true PD parking pass or something to be able to rent one of those, grrr. But Disney's making the money off of the lazy people, so what do they care?

And truly, even though you are in great shape and run you will be still dead tired from all the walking. We wore pedometers last year for fun to see how many steps a day we took. 10000 is 5 miles and should be a person's goal in a day. (On a typical office-work day I hit around 7000 if I take a walk at lunch, I easily hit 10000 on the weekends). Our numbers last year?

30000 steps. 15 miles. A DAY.

No wonder you can eat whatever you want at DW and don't have to worry about it sticking around! Unless you rent the scooter, of course. :P

[Dani]

Yeah, I once read a post from a really large family about how they rented motored scooters at Disney because they couldn't walk that much. At what point do you say to yourself "this is not an acceptable way to live life"? My kids were 2 and 5 when we went, we brought 1 fold up stroller for them and hardly used it. The walking aspect was not an issue.

Also, I totally get the no-deadline thing. I work, but that was my hardest thing about staying at home, during the times I was home. How do you define success when what you're doing is never-ending maintenance? You got the laundry folded and put away really quickly this week? Congrats...but there's now a huge pile in everyone's bedroom. It just doesn't end. I too used vacations as an end point, and my husband also didn't really understand my need there. I've always thought that people that are really happy staying home have some gene, or outlook on life, or ability to define success in other ways that I don't seem to have. I kinda need my job for the self-esteem boost it gives me. I realize that's a little sad, but there you go.

[Jen]

Um yeah, I'm going to second Keli, we walked 15 miles on the shorter days and slightly more than 20 on the days where we took advantage of the extended hours. Granted we don't have kids so we were free to hop around a bit more but we were definitely sore and tired after 8 days of that. Also, as she said it's not just the walking, it's also the standing in lines. And yes, there were a lot of fat people there, but you'll also see a ton of pregnant woman that look like they're going to pop any day, people on scooters due to injuries or old age as well as plenty of fit people. Also, my husband and I are quite athletic and fit-he's an ice hockey player and I'm a runner, but disney world is still plenty exhausting. Some of the parks are quite spreadout and fast passes and busy times will definitely have you doing a lot of backtracking.

[Penny]

Hmm. Would be very interested in ongoing Disney research journey you are taking. Just in case we decide to fold some day and do it ourselves. Perhaps Disney will even PAY YOU.

[Cynthia]

OK I totally get your point about getting fit for life not for a vacation, but....- I read same piece of advice too, and I took the advice because my daughter was a young four, and I knew that unless we practiced walking several miles a day, should would never make it without a stroller, and my goal was a STROLLER FREE Disney trip! I found it nauseating watching SIX year olds in strollers! Anyway, the walking was very bonding, we kept it up, and my baby girl made it with NO STROLLER, no whining, no carrying - even in Animal Kingdom which was LOTS of walking!!!

[Anita Thebo]

Emily, a couple of things from Disney nuts, get a subscription to touringplans.com It is around $9 a year. My husband does this just in anticipation that we get to go within the 12 months of expiration - or are at least getting close to heading that way. It gives great information, and you can personalize your trip for you - parents with young children. And I know you said December, but just a word of advice, do NOT go the week immediately before or after Christmas. The wait times are HORRENDOUS! We tend to go during Thanksgiving - we have teenage children - and sometimes the wait times then can be more than I want to do. We went this past Thanksgiving and had friends go the week after Christmas, and their vacation sounded like a nightmare. We also were told by cast members of the year before on New Year's Day and wait times for Soarin' at Epcot being 5 hours (yes, F-I-V-E HOURS) long.

If you can possibly stay on property, it helps a lot - A LOT. Our youngest was probably 5 when we went the first time, and I couldn't imagine taking her when she was younger than that; we actually rented one of their double strollers, and both girls rode in it - the other one is three years older. And that was a blessing in itself.

Another great thing to keep up with what's going on is WDW Today podcasts. These guys are absolute Disney afficiandos (sp?). They have super great information on EVERYTHING. And they are free. Get some of the older podcasts too to listen to due to the great information. They record like one or two a week, and they aren't but about 30 minutes each, so quite doable to listen to a couple while you are out running. Hope this is helpful:)

[Anita Thebo]

And one other thing, you are planning your vacation for December 2011. My husband is planning our next BIG Disney trip for October or early December of 2013 - YES TWENTY THIRTEEN. Both girls will be out of the house then! Of course, both will be in college! I don't think he has considered that little tidbit:O

[denise neely]

Emily:
I admit to having the same feelings when I first quit work l3 years ago. I had written 1mm accounts and live for the "atta Girl, great job". But one day when I was home running the vacum, cleaning the toilet, etc... God spoke to me in a still, small voice, as said " I notice what you're doing, but more importantly, I notice with what attitude you're doing it with"...this changed my whole outlook. Dave or especially the kids may not appreciate the clean house, dinner, or clean toilet. But if you're doing all of that as if you were doing it for the Lord, you'll be able to do it with praise. You're able to stay home and spend many, many, many, many hours with your children. I know sometimes it seems endless, but someday you'll be able to look back and appreciate this time. It truly does pass too quickly. Just think Mickensie will graduate high school next year!
I love you and pray for you always.
Denise