It was convenient when the gaucho pants trend coincided with my pregnancy

So okay, Internet. I like my body. We've discussed this many times before. You'll remember that I haven't always liked my body, but I now have a body that weighs considerably less than it did during my college and immediately-post-college years (perhaps even less than it did for some of HIGH SCHOOL), produced two (mostly) fantastic children AND ran thirteen miles last year, IN A ROW, without stopping. I mean, yes, there are things I would change, but for the most part: HAPPY.

I feel like I have to get that little self-esteem declaration out of the way before I tell you that I am simply not able to wear anything that falls into the category of Currently Marketed Styles for the Parts of Your Body that Lie Below the Waist. Look, it is all lies, LIES, this stuff about how you can make any style work for your body. The truth is that some bodies aren't made for certain clothing styles. And normally this doesn't bother me – I have never felt terribly cheated by the fact that I don't look good in micro-minis or bustiers, but that's mostly because whenever micro-minis and bustiers seem to be in style, SO ARE LOTS OF OTHER THINGS. Less slutty things, even. Also, you would have to pay me a LOT OF MONEY to wear a bustier, and not in a prostitutiony kind of way.

So in case you haven't been out to the mall in the last year, do you want to know what's in style right now? TIGHT PANTS. You can call them skinny jeans or leggings or slim cut or TORTURE DEVICES, whatever you want. None of these things look good on a person with thick legs. I HAVE THICK LEGS. I mean, they're athletic legs, yes (see above, re: THIRTEEN MILES, BABY), but I have muscular thighs and calves. And normally, this wouldn't bother me AT ALL, except that I cannot find ANYTHING in stores that agrees with my body type. I find it ESPECIALLY offensive knowing we just came off several seasons' worth of GAUCHO PANTS. Talk about extremes, am I right? Could we have not have found a nice transitional period between elastic waist pants that don't even touch your skin and leggings, which show the outline of every bump and varicose vein? Couldn't we have brought the boot cut back in style there for a bit? I would have stocked up! I finally caved and bought a pair of shorts. Yes, shorts. I try to wear skirts as often as I can in the summer, but sometimes I need to climb a play structure in hot pursuit of a 16-month-old without showing my undercarriage to every stay-at-home dad at the park. Not that the moms want to see it either, I suppose.

You guys, I am not even making this up, I tried on a pair of CARGO CAPRIS the other night at the mall. I thought, ok, cargo capris, how could they have possibly made these slim fit? What kind of cargo can you fit in the pockets of slim-fitting pants, anyway? But they DID! And I had a pair of 12s in hand (I am normally an 8 or a 10), and I could not pull them up past my mid-thigh, because there wasn't enough room in the CALF AREA. My calves do not even fit where people's THIGHS are supposed to go. THIS IS A HEINOUS DISCOVERY.

And like I said, usually I would be all, Well! That's FINE, there are always other options! But THERE AREN'T ANY OTHER OPTIONS. Everything in the cropped pants arena this season is tight/slim fit/skinny. It isn't working for me, and it's DEPRESSING. And I know that Target has some loose-ish fit capri pants but they are made out of this completely non-breathable material and I am not looking forward to walking around in the heat of summer, looking like I sat in a puddle of my own urine. I sweat a lot, ok? It's not my favorite thing about myself (I would place that in the Would Change category for sure) but it's something I can't change, either, so I have to dress around it. I need NATURAL FIBERS. Or at least less polyester.

Anyway, so then I started looking for clothes in places I don't normally frequent, and LO AND BEHOLD, did you know there are still places where you can buy wider-leg cropped capris and roomy cargo pants? Except that... well, here's the bad news: they aren't the cool stores, you guys. These are not the stores where the young and trendy people shop. They're... they're catalogue stores and half of the stuff you can buy from them are variations on the cardigan/shell combination and most of the pants they sell are the kind that look like they might rest about an inch underneath your bra and... OMG. Either I am old and uncool or this skinny jean thing HAS GOT TO END.

Comments

[Mel]

Did you try the Gap's Curvy pants?

[Melissa]

I am totally with you. The skinny jean thing HAS got to end.

[jana]

Coldwater Creek - Classic clothes that don't really go in or out of style...

sure the store is filled with old ladies (but they're the hip old ladies) and the clothes are shockingly expensive, but they have awesome 70%off sales and you can order online.

[Shelly]

Skinny pants should only be made in toddler sizes otherwise it's just torture.

[H]

Right there with you on the athletic leg type. Also, though, I'm short. Double whammy!

[Bren]

Makes me glad my pregnancy fell during this "skinny jean" phase. I too have thick legs (even at my lowest weight) plus these skinny pants are not made for those with short legs either! Give me a roomy capri any day baby!!!

[Nothing But Bonfires]

I have three pairs of Old Navy cargo capris that I bought in -- no kidding -- 2003, and I am NOT PARTING WITH THOSE SUCKERS FOR ANYTHING. Because they're the NORMAL kind of cargo capris, you see -- the WIDE kind. If I got rid of them, I would never find the normal kind again. They would all be, like, legging capris.

[Marya]

OMG. I laughed so hard while reading this! I totally know where you're coming from. I'll admit to thinking my legs are one of my best parts and even so, I hate skinny pants. I hate seeing people try to squeeze into them, I hate being told that they're flattering, I hate that they've lasted so long.

It sucks when you realize that you're no longer the target audience

[Steph]

I think we are physical twins. I could have written every word except that I have only birthed one (mostly) fantastic child. But yes with the weight loss post college and the half marathon(s) and the "thick" legs. Have always hated my legs. Never wear shorts if I can help it. (Ugh, then I am all "ooh la la look at my laig muscles" when I am standing in front of the mirror and then I sit down and all the muscle disappears into a yard of flab when I rest my legs on my seat and NO THANK YOU. So self conscious about that.) Not very tall (5'5") either so I always thought capris made me look shorter and stubbier. However! I have been very pleased with Old Navy recently. I bought my first pair of cargo capris and they were appropriately loose and attractive. Also they have some cute breathable summer dresses.

But my go-to place for clothes that are fashionable but also reasonable is Ann Taylor Loft. LOVE. LOVELOVELOVE. I cannot go in there very often because I want ONE OF EVERYTHING and I have no willpower, but still.

So those are my 2 suggestions. I really don't shop very much though so I'm sure there are other places out there with fabulous options. Try ON first though.

(Also, I never comment--so shy! And I most certainly would always sound like "ummm huh YEAH duuurrr" in my comments--but I do heart your writing and your blog.)

[Angella]

I, too, have the muscular thighs and by jove, I do believe that all I will be wearing this summer is dresses. My apologies in advance to all of the moms and dads at the park.

[Elementary Teacher]

Only REALLY skinny elementary aged girls should wear leggings, scratch that, NO ONE should wear leggings!!!!!!!!

[Elsha]

Yes, BOO on the skinny jeans! They do not look good on people with thick legs, especially short people with thick legs like ME.

[duchessbelle]

Oh my yes. Nothing does wonders for the self esteem like losing 30 pounds and not being able to pull on a pair of pants in the same size as the ones that I no longer have to unbutton to get on and off. At least in two years when skinny cut is out of style I'll have two years worth of clothing budget to go crazy with...

[Tiah]

I call them Sheltand pony legs, and I own a fine pair of those stocky things myself. I take comfort while wearing my passée boot cut that most women, even very slim women, do not look good while wearing "on trend" skinnies or leggings.

And yes, I wore a lot of dresses this past summer (mine just ended - opposite seasons).

[Kelly]

So happy to see that I'm not the only one completely disgusted with the current offerings in stores. I am trying to lose the last 20 lbs of the pregnancy weight to fit back into my favorite old navy capris from 2006. I'm actually happy with my body right now, but since I can't seem to find any loose fitting capris, I'm thinking the only choice is to get back into the old ones. I have thick legs and live in a HOT part of the country - why in the hell would I want tight pants that cling to every inch? i need airflow people!

[Lee]

Are you referring to Eddie Bauer, LL Bean and Lands'End? I have no shame in purchasing the vast majority of my clothing from them!

[Julie]

Banana Republic makes torture devices, um skinny jeans for us thick legged folk that are flattering...Also, levis but they are harder to find.

[Amanda]

I have several pair of these from Target

http://www.target.com/Merona-Linen-Crop-Pant-Vintage/dp/B0030GDP0S/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&searchView=grid5&qid=1273689217&frombrowse=0&fromGsearch=true&node=1038576|1287991011&keywords=linen%20capri%20pants&searchSize=30&id=Merona%20Linen%20Crop%20Pant%20Vintage&searchBinNameList=purchasing_channel%2Csubjectbin%2Ctarget_com_age%2Ctarget_com_gender-bin%2Ctarget_com_character-bin%2Cprice%2Ctarget_com_primary_color-bin%2Ctarget_com_size-bin%2Ctarget_com_brand-bin&searchNodeID=1038576|1287991011&searchRank=target104545&sr=1-7&searchPage=1

If that doesn't work search "linen capris". They are flowy and super comfortable. At first I thought linen would be a total pain in the ass, but it's not. No they aren't wrinkle free every time I wear them, but they aren't at all hideous.

[Life of a Doctor's Wife]

I am so 100% with you on calling an End to the Skinny Jeans Era. I cannot get on board as I have thick legs too! My thick legs fit into NO PANTS sold by ANY STORE that I have shopped in for the last 10 years. And my calves suddenly for some reason do not even fit into the boots specifically designed for big-calved people. It is horrible. And I, like you, have Good Body Esteem. Or at the very least, Fairly Okay Body Esteem Sometimes. But this skinny jean phenom is rapidly sucking out all the esteem I have left.

Do you also have the problem of finally finding pants that fit in the thighs area but that do not even a little bit fit in the waist area?

[VHMPrincess]

Ann Taylor LOFT has them in the Marisa fit in wider leg loose fit capri - they ALSO have skinny, so make sure you pick up the right one - I had to return 3 pair (black, tan, grey) of wider ones TO GET the skinny ones online.

[Marianne]

I second the first commenter ... up there. The GAP curvy jeans are so awesome. I'm not so in like with my body, but they actually fit me and that fat size I'm in now. Also, they're great for anyone that has a little muscle on their legs.

[Fran]

When my daughter was an infant (she's 2 1/2 now) I bought her some Old Navy Baby Jeans in size 12 months at a resale shop. Babies don't have to try things on!! They were BRAND NEW with the tag still on them and I found out why when I tried to stuff her sausage body into them. THEY WERE BABY SKINNY JEANS!! I shit you not...it has to stop!
I have a theory that the mall stores only carry two real sizes: 2 and not 2. Unless you are a 2 you will probably never find anything that fits.

[DCZia]

Yup, I apparently have Giant Calves that are disguised as looking like Perfectly Normal Calves until I try to put them in one of the aforementioned pairs of ridiculously skinny cut pants. WHOSE CALVES ARE THAT SMALL? I look good in boot cut jeans, therefore I wear them. I can still buy them in stores, so that must mean something, right? Plus, all these skinny jeans/leggings are giving me the worst '80s/jr high flashbacks. Did that bad fashion once; not doing it again.

[Laurie]

I have the athletic thighs, plus some hips that my mother says "I came by honestly" which I guess means they're inherited...but it should be noted my mother is teeny tiny so I think she's just trying to make me feel better. Anyway, I have had a lot of luck with capris at NY & Company the last two summers. They have some bermuda shorts or whatever they're called that aren't terrible. Good luck! Ladies with curves (even the healthy kind) just don't have as many options.

[Kelly]

Did you try Lucy at Pentagon City? They have transitional clothes (from workout to just running around) and I have girlfriends who have found great travel/flight pants there before.