Actually I made less than $200 because I bought a slice of pizza and a Pepsi.

I made close to $200 at the yard sale on Saturday. I haven't held many yard sales in my day, but whenever I get the itch to rid our house of superfluous crap, I like to have a goal or a prize in mind. Because yard sales are actually REALLY HARD WORK, especially if you have small children and a small house. For example, the small children find it amusing to jump on top of piles of clothing that perhaps took THREE WHOLE HOURS to separate into appropriate infant sizes and maybe that wouldn't be such a huge deal if after you sorted them, you were able to move them somewhere the children couldn't get at them LIKE A GARAGE but unfortunately, you have small children AND A SMALL HOUSE, REMEMBER? My stuff sat in the dining room for nearly a month because I only had small snippets of time during the day to organize and collect it and price it and then RE-DO IT ALL because the small people had screwed it all up. And then I didn't hold the sale in our front yard; I joined a huge community yard sale, which was nice because it attracts a lot of people and I didn't have to do any advertising, but I did have to haul all my stuff to a parking lot and wait in a gigantic line to check in for my allotted space and then set it all up AND THEN sit in the baking hot sun from 8:30am until noon, letting people talk me into selling my shoes/baby blankets/moth-eaten suits for a dollar.

See? Yard sales are hard! Doubly hard if the prize you're working towards is FOR SOMEONE ELSE. (I committed to buying Dave a new suit with our earnings.) (He really really needs one without moth holes.) (That's what I keep telling myself.) (Because I could buy a heap of cute sundresses with $200, you know?) (And remember, I DID ALL THE WORK.) (HARUMPH.)

So anyway, the way the community yard sale worked was you could drive your car right up to your space, where you were supposed to unload all your stuff, then you were supposed to take your car and park it somewhere, and come back and set up all your stuff. Dude, I parked my car at 7:45 (the yard sale officially started at 8:30), and by the time I walked back to my pile of junk, PEOPLE WERE ALREADY RIFLING THROUGH IT. Like, I could almost understand that if I'd gotten my table set up and my stuff halfway set up, but this was just a PILE. A pile that I wasn't standing anywhere near. And they didn't care if it was weird or rude or whether they were knocking all the stuff I had on hangers OFF the hangers and onto the asphalt. No, they pawed and moved on, leaving a messier pile of my stuff behind. I know that's common yard sale activity but it irks me to no end. I mean, until you hand me your one dollar, THOSE ARE STILL MY SHOES, you know? Maybe you could ask if you could take a look at my maternity bathing suit before it officially goes on sale? Especially if you're examining the crotch. Because that is just WEIRD, ok?

But otherwise, it went pretty well. I did knowingly deceive three people and I will confess that here now.

Old Chinese man who shoved his feet into some shoes and paid me a dollar for them? Those were women's shoes. I didn't tell you. I could say something about how I didn't think you cared a bit for gender stereotypes but really, I just wanted your dollar.

Lady who bought “a nice tablecloth; it's so hard to find them without stains”? Yeah. That was a shower curtain. GROMMET HOLES, lady. I blame you for that one. Thanks for the $3, though.

And kindly grandmother looking for an outfit for her future grandson? I'm sorry. It was a girl outfit. You even asked me if it was a boy outfit, after you paid me $2, and I told you YES. I totally lied. But you know, if you had to buy a girl outfit for a boy, that was the one to buy. It had a monkey on it! Everyone knows monkeys go on boy outfits, right? Girl outfits have flowers and rainbows! Nobody will even notice the bows on the matching pants. YOU'LL BE FINE.

By the time noon rolled around, I was burned to a crisp and decided I was DONE selling my crap. The best thing about this yard sale was that the Boy Scouts were collecting donations in an enormous truck at the end of it, so anything I hadn't sold, I boxed up and took to them for fundraising. I took NOTHING back home with me, except for one purse that didn't sell and that I decided I might like to use in a dress-up bin for Lucy when she's older.

This was easily the most successful yard sale I've ever had for two reasons. Number one: I only sold things I was really and truly ready to part with. The yard sale was a convenient way to get rid of the stuff, but if I hadn't held the sale, I would have willingly donated everything without a second thought. This meant that if I'd priced something at $3 and someone offered $1 for it, I was totally willing to take it. One dollar is more than nothing, you know?

I think that's the biggest mistake people make with yard sales: thinking their stuff is somehow valuable and refusing to part with it unless someone is willing to pay what THEY think it is worth. I mean, I saw someone selling a Wanda Sykes VHS tape for $10. Don't even get me STARTED, you know? Where on God's green earth is ANY VHS tape worth $10 anymore? But the person selling it is probably thinking, well, you know, I paid $20 when I bought it and it still works just fine! But at the end of the day, that person is going back home with their ridiculously overpriced Wanda Sykes VHS tape, when they could have been ONE WHOLE DOLLAR richer if they'd sold it to me so I could give it away at a white elephant Christmas party.

NOT THAT I'M BITTER.

And Number Two: I brought NOTHING home. Do you know how happy it made my husband to not have to haul six bags of crap back into the attic? Our plan (had the Boy Scouts not been there afterward like the glorious angels sent from heaven that they were) was to load the car up with everything that hadn't sold and drive straight to Goodwill. Like I said, I'd already decided to part with this stuff. It wasn't worth it to me to hold on to it to sell at a later date. TOO MUCH HASSLE.

And now I want to know: What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen being hawked at a yard sale? Because honestly, WHAT ARE PEOPLE THINKING? And who is buying half-used bags of cat litter and puzzles with half the pieces missing and microwaves from 1972? WHO IS DOING THIS?

Comments

[Kristen]

The other weekend, I went to a community garage sale and there as a beater being sold without the beaters. I mean, sure, they're probably a pretty standard size, but doesn't that seem like a pretty big assumption?

Also, I bought a tablecloth and am now going to check it for grommet holes.

[Jessica]

I always see the strangest things at yard sales, but the worst is probably used underwear with stains in them. Most disgusting thing I have ever witnessed, hands down.

[Maresi]

A bunch of 2/3rds used up pencils with hard-as-diamonds erasers from (my guess is) the 1960s with a dried up crusty old rubber band around them was donated to our church rummage sale.

[Stacia]

oooh my god thank you for that post today... i so needed that laugh. i even once had someone STRIP in front of me to try on an old suit i was selling to see if it fit.

[Nothing But Bonfires]

Oh man, I probably would have bought Maresi's 1960s pencils. What does that say about ME?

[Christy]

What I hate most about garage sales is when people try to sell something that NEVER had value. I can see if you are hanging onto something that you paid money for and think it might be worth something (even a dollar), but really? A whole cardboard box of McDonald's Happy Meal Toys? They were free to begin with! And they were crappy even when new!

[Life of a Doctor's Wife]

I grew up in the country (I mean, we didn't even have a MAILBOX, because the post office wouldn't drive to our house), so I don't think I've ever been to or part of a garage sale. Wait... maybe I was part of one for 4-H or something? I seem to have blocked it from my memory.

But it sounds like a very weird event, with weird people and lots of weird items for sale. I should probably check one out!

[Branwen]

Every time we go to yard sales my husband makes comments like "isn't the point to get rid of stuff, so why are people asking $5 for a pair of kids pants!?" I completely agree with you and him. If you're trying to get rich at yard sales you're probably going to be disappointed ;)

[Aunt Becky]

I am terrified of Yard Sale People. Not normal people who GO to Yard Sales, but the people who are like PROFESSIONALS. They scare me. They scare me off from ever having Yard Sales.

So I donate everything I ever get rid of to charity even though I might make $50. And by $50, I mean $500 or maybe $5.

[Kathy]

The wierdest thing I sold was the most god-awful garden oil lamp... it was hideous. My friend and I debated even putting it out for sale, but wouldn't you know it, it was the first thing to sell.

With respect to the people who come before the sale even starts, my mom has a policy... She advertises the yard sale time, and includes a note that says "early-birds pay double". So, fine, if someone wants to come before the start of the sale and rifle through things while we're setting up, they can. But if they want to buy anything they pay twice the price on the item. It's amazing how many people will still do this.

[Shelly]

My great grandma used to sell her old bras and also pencil stubs at her garage sales. We teased her for it, but they always sold.

[nonsoccermom]

I laughed really, really hard at this entire post.

And Kathy's mother is BRILLIANT. Early birds pay double, indeed! I loathe the early birds but THAT is a policy I can get on board with.

[Amanda]

Great post! I laughed a lot while reading it. Everything you wrote is so true about yard sales. Your mindset ($1 is better than nothing) is the only way to have a yard sale.

There was a lady who bought a shower curtain thinking it was a table cloth at my yard sale as well. It's not like it absolutely could not be used as a table cloth...

When we moved into our current home, the creepy old man who lived here before us left tons of assorted junk (rather than having the courtesy to at least donate it somewhere or throw it in a dumpster before moving out), so I sold some of it in a yard sale. The thing that I found the most strange was how well the partially-used bottles of assorted cleaners sold. I priced them at $0.25 each and it was like they just walked away. Those bottles of cleaner could have been filled with plain water for all those people knew.

[SheLikesToTravel]

How about those things that give vacuum cleaner haircuts? What was that called? The Flowbee or something. It was weird!

[Parker_B]

Our old neighbors across the street (Charles and Ray) sold some pretty average, run-of-the-mill stuff, but it was hard to miss those hot pink boxer shorts with smiling, dancing condoms printed all over them. Yuck! And in full view of everyone.

[Lacey]

Uhm, idk about the weirdest thing I have ever seen, but if, for future reference, you are trying to sell maternity/baby/kids clothes/toys/things, you should check out jbfsale.com to see if they have an event in your area. Seriously. You organize your stuff, drop it off, and, if at the end, something is left that you don't want, you leave it there and they donate it! They use barcides and everything. Seriously. It's good stuff. I got an awesome jogging stroller from my local sale for $100 off the retail price. They have them all over the country...

[Pippi]

I know who buys mircowaves from 1972! Theatre people! Stuff like that is perfect for plays (or movies) set in the 70s.

[H]

My elderly aunt is getting ready for her first garage sale since, oh, maybe the 60's. Her husband was a hoarder. I hear there are canned goods from the 70's.

[joaaanna]

The weirdest thing I have ever seen at a garage/yard sale was a brass 'sculpture' of two big grizzly bears doing it.

DOING. IT.

There is no question at all as to what they are doing. Because IT is what they are DOING.

You better believe I snatched that badboy up and it is on my fireplace mantle. Best $10 I ever spent.

[Courtney]

I haven't been to a yard sale in a long time. But your post cracked me up, especially when you came clean about who you lied to!

[Violet]

Weirdest? Half-empty bottles of shampoo and body lotions. Ick! You have to wonder why they are selling them, too. Were they no good? Are they too old? They were only $.25 each, but really - do you need the money badly enough to do that at a neighborhood yard sale? I can't look her in the eye now...

[Dani]

I sold my Diaper Genie (which is not that weird) but the woman who bought it got it FOR HER CAT. I didn't ask for specifics.

And I totally agree about the amount of work. Yard sales are a pain. (But a great way to get rid of stuff and make a little cash.) Also the overpriced junk. I remember some kid sincerely thanking my mom for the (wood, 1970s) tennis racket she sold him for 25 cents. "These prices are great!" I went looking for a high chair in my neighborhood and couldn't find one priced at less than $60. Um....ok.

[DevilsHeaven]

We had a yard sale, and the early bird dude came, I was still in my PJs and the hubs was just getting out of the shower. He was THAT EARLY. I made hubs throw on some clothes and run out there just as the guy was leaving. Hubs thinks he was looking for "collectiables", of which we had none. Now we just donate to the Salvation Army, and write it off at tax time, you get about the same price wise for it, and none of the hassle.

[Ashley]

Great post! I've been sorting and pricing stuff for my upcoming garage sale for the last 3 weekends, and we still have two weekends to go. I'm OVER it. But it will be nice to get all this extra junk out of our house and garage, and I'm totally a people watcher, and am facinated by some of the things that people buy. I put all the clothes on tables, sorted by size, with a big sign that says .25 each. The only clothes items that I individually price are things with tags still attached. Books always go for .10, coffee/travel mugs .25, etc. I sell stuff dirt cheap, just to get RID of it!

[Lisa]

Our residential community does a community-wide sale every year. Always lots of baby stuff for sale. People here have a very high opinion of their stuff, though. $75 for a stroller/carseat combo. I don't know, but that seems pretty high to me...for a USED and weathered stroller and car seat. $5-15 EACH for onesies/t-shirts/pants/outfits...for babies! I don't care if it IS name brand. I'm not paying that! I can find cheaper and nicer clothes at the consignment sales.

After participating as a seller three different times, I'm finally convinced that I'm never going to make any money this way. I think my highest sales year was a whopping total of $24.00. Now I just donate everything. But I still like to shop the sales...let everyone else do the work and I'll find the bargains!