Why, yes, it WAS rather grand. Thank you for asking.

I think it should go without saying that seeing the Grand Canyon absolutely took my breath away. If you've been there, you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. No photograph does it justice, and the feeling of standing on the edge of something so unbelievably beautiful and astonishing and ENORMOUS is indescribable. Which is why I think I said, “Wow!” about 46,000 times over the course of the 40 or so hours we were there. Oh, sure, sometimes I said, “I can't believe it!” and other times I said, “This is amazing!” but MOST of the time I said, “WOW!” or, alternately, “WOWOWOWOWOW!” This is a perfect example of how my written communication skills far exceed my verbal ones.

But you know what was just as fascinating as the scenery and the... well, the grand-ness and the fact that I stood five-ish feet away from a real live ELK? 

 

You guys, no one is around to make sure you don't fall into the thing. I AM SO NOT KIDDING. I was not PREPARED FOR THIS. Did you know that there are places at the Grand Canyon where there are 3,000 foot sheer dropoffs? And did you know that there is a PATH – a dirt freaking PATH – that takes you RIGHT ALONG THE EDGE? There is! You can walk right on it! You don't have to prove you're a good walker or that you don't trip a lot or anything! And there's no fence or guard rail and no one made us sign any kind of Legal Release Form when we entered the park! THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT JUST TRUSTS THAT YOU WILL NOT FALL OVER THE SIDE. They posted a sign that says so!

Well, I'll tell you what. The U.S. Government might trust me, but I certainly don't trust me. I did a decent job walking when I wasn't thinking about how far down I might fall if I slipped on a rock or a kernel of elk poop, but when I thought too much about it, or when the path narrowed, or, and I am not even kidding, whenever I wanted to look down INTO the thing instead of ACROSS it even if there was a strategically-placed FENCE that I could cling woozily to, my stomach went all fluttery and I had to cut that walking crap out and start inching wherever it was I needed to go.

And don't get me started on how hard it was to watch my very fearless husband walk to the edges of rock outcroppings and stretch his arms out for a “rush.”

Sometimes during his rush-seeking he would ask me to take his picture and even though I would be standing YARDS upon YARDS away from the edge, I would almost have to sit down on the ground to not be dizzy with fright while watching him. Whenever we stopped at an overlook or particularly jaw-dropping section of the trail, I had to beg and plead with him not to wander out onto a rock. I couldn't bear to watch; in fact, whenever he walked further than I was comfortable with (and granted, my standards were set pretty low; I saw people carrying BABIES farther than I was willing to go sometimes) I would have to turn around and ignore him altogether. I COULDN'T DO IT. And I am not particularly afraid of heights, even!

The other thing I just COULD NOT GET OVER was the bus we had to ride to get to some of the overlooks. Cars are prohibited on one of the roads during the high season months, so we had to take the free (and very clean and reliable) bus instead. Except the road practically HUGS the edge of the canyon and there were times I just could not help but wonder what might happen should our lovely, kind, also ELDERLY bus driver suffer a catastrophic heart attack. WE WOULD ALL DIE A FIERY FIERY PLUNGING DEATH, is what would happen. But voicing this kind of opinion is considered a bit... nutty, if you will (ok, so Dave said I was nutty), so I just white-knuckled the handrails and closed my eyes when I got nervous. I guess really it wasn't that I was afraid of heights so much as I didn't trust anyone but my own person around that big hole in the ground.

There were a lot of old people at the Grand Canyon. Lots of old people and lots of foreigners, which surprised me. I know we visited at a time when public school is in session, so that had a lot to do with it, but the sheer volume of old people surprised me at first, until I realized that the Grand Canyon is the PERFECT national park for old people: for the most part, the accessible parts are completely flat, and you can see the whole thing from a BUS or by driving your Lincoln up to a parking space on the edge and poking your (probably film) camera out the window. Plus, there are CAFETERIAS. Old people LOOOOOOVE cafeterias! One night we ate at the cafeteria and while Dave paid for our meals, I scored us a table and when Dave joined me he gave me this, “You couldn't do better?” look because we were sitting next to two rather unpleasant old people (truly, I have nothing against old people, for the most part I find them adorable, but these two were hacking up their lungs) but I was able to point out that there were NO OTHER OPTIONS. Everywhere you looked, there were elderly people, eating green jello and drinking coffee out of a straw and wearing those drapey polyester pants that you KNOW are elastic waisted and doing that old person phlegmy cough thing. Also the room was filled with the scent of old lady perfume. The Grand Canyon is not party central. NEWS FLASH.

The other night we were there, we had dinner at the bar inside our hotel and without even THINKING about it, I ended up having the meal I had announced by way of Style Lush that would be my ideal Last Meal Ever if I had to choose one.

Yeah, so, the next day was a LITTLE NERVEWRACKING, you know? Because look what we had to drive to get to Sedona:

EEEP! TO BE CONTINUED...

Comments

[Carla]

My stomach is fluttering just looking at him in the PICTURE! Back up, Dave! It looks like there is a perfect crack in the rock right behind his feet, and that entire little section he is standing on could break off and drop at any moment.

Other than the (perfectly understandable) fear, it sounds like you had a great trip!

[Dani]

This is so funny to me....I've never been to the Grand Canyon, but my husband wanted to go this Spring Break with our kids ages 5 & 8. I kept thinking I would have a heart attack with them near these shear cliffs, and do they have fences and guard rails? and how do they make sure noone falls? I'm happy to have this knowledge that they DO NOT make sure noone falls, and we can therefore NOT go there with the kids while they are small. The 5 year old would surely give me a heart attack before the trip were over. We will save that particular trip for when they are older and can be trusted. :-) I'm glad you had fun - it looks beautiful!

[morgan s]

I went there with my husband pre-kids and I was terrified the entire time, even when standing 15 feet from the edge. There should be a guard rail around the entire f-ing canyon, in my opinion. I do not understand how someone is not plunging to the bottom every single day. I am getting all agitated just remembering it. There were children running all over the place and what if they trip? Or trip and knock an elderly person who ventured out of the cafeteria straight over the edge?!!!!

[Megan]

I had to stop myself from screaming "Move back, Dave!" And I am looking at a PICTURE like 2,000 miles away and days after the fact - you must have been a wreck!

The Grand Canyon sounds a *lot* like the Cliffs of Moher, in that they don't really have too many rails and people can go right up to the ledge, and OMG, I saw someone sitting on the edge and kicking their legs and I thought they were going to fall off.

[Carrie]

Wow. I had no idea either! I would never be able to go there with my dad or my brother. They're the type that climb over fences and guard rails at places that have them, so I'd never trust them at someplace like that.

But your pictures are beautiful!

[Becky O.]

I felt the exact same way when we went to the canyon. I was absolutely amazed at the beauty, but terrified of falling. My husband kept walking out to the very edge or out on outcroppings to pose for pictures and I would take the fastest picture on record to get him out of there. I wouldn't take kids there ever, unless they were tied to my body! A giant railing would have let me enjoy it more instead of feeling constantly uneasy!

[Amy --- Just A Titch]

As someone who gets nervous in giant ARENAS, you can imagine how fun I was at the Grand Canyon. I barely saw the views because I was too busy ENVISIONING MY OWN DEATH.

[Megan]

heh. We took our then 4 year old and 9 month old to the Grand Canyon and Sedona. It was a fun trip and I have some great shots of Bill and Will looking into the Canyon. What you can't hear in the picture is me yelling, "Don't you let go of his hand! I'm not kidding, Bill. SERIOUSLY!! HE IS FOUR HE DOES NOT REALIZE THE SERIOUSNESS OF THE DROP OK I GOT THE SHOT LETS ALL BACK UP NOW!!!"

We took the train in from Williams, Az and it was actually a pretty fun family trip, especially if your four year old is a little bit train obsessed, as ours was. Glad you guys had a good time!

[Olivia]

I laughed at myself when, after seeing the first picture, all I could say was "wow". I can't imagine what it would be like to see it in person! And when my 2yo daughter watched the Youtube clip with me, she pointed to the road and said, "A Snake"! Yeah, anything that winding would have me closing my eyes and praying.

[Life of a Doctor's Wife]

Your photos are amazing! And that one of Dave standing right near the edge? My knees buckled just looking at it. AND I AM SITTING DOWN.

I know I would have had the same reaction to being in such close proximity to a Giant Deep Deep Crevasse. Enough to turn your guts into icewater.

Can't wait to read the follow up!

[Amy]

ummm my palms are sweaty from reading your post and now I'm motion sick from watching your video. ha! And, I'm not kidding. :) Grand Canyon is amazing!!

[Lisa]

I've been on that road! The thing that scared the bejeebers out of me at the Canyon was that people had their small children there and just let them play by the edge. One idiot couple was standing there reading an information placard while their two children, estimated ages 5 and 7, were pushing each other. PUSHING! Within inches of a sheer drop-off into oblivion! Idiots! The Canyon is the most amazing place I've ever visited, and I will not take my kids there until they are teenagers. Or older. The end.

[wordygirl]

That picture of Dave made me very, very nervous. I couldn't look at it without feeling uncomfortable! So I guess I feel your pain. I mean, I knew the story probably didn't end with "and then he stepped off to his death" because ... well, you probably would have led with that, right? But still. I had to scroll down so the picture wasn't visible, in order to actually concentrate on your post.

No trips to the Grand Canyon for me, I think!

[Raven]

Oh haha, did I not mention the switchback drive? Did we not talk about that? I kind of forget how harrowing that bit is what with the flipping basically immediately back on yourself while going down a steep ass incline on the side of a mountain with only teeeny tiny guard rails protecting you from MORTAL PERIL.

Sorry about that! I have done it so many times, it doesn't really affect me anymore.

[Jenn]

I have never been to the Grand Canyon BUT! I grew up about an hour from the aptly named Elk County, where you can drive around and see elk hanging out in people's yards. So big! So calm! Not like those twitchy whitetail deer!

I am afraid to watch that video. I've had a very stressful day and I don't want to have to white knuckle my laptop.

[Lisa]

Welcome back! :) Sounds like fabulous trip so far! Though, I don't think I'd be comfy with my husband going out on a "limb" into the Grand Canyon...I was getting nervous just seeing the picture! So major props to you for letting him go out that far! :)

Looking forward to the rest! :)

[nessa]

It's funny to hear people oooh and ahhhh over a big hole in the ground - but I am jaded as I live in AZ and have been to the GC about a bazillion times. And I LOVE HWY 89A. We live about 45 min from Sedona and it is my very favorite scenic drive! I will say that your GPS resembelled intestines. I'm glad you got to see all the pretty AZ has to offer. So many people think of desert, but there is so, so much more.

[Mikekarr]

How fun that you got to go there! I miss it sometimes, living in Kansas. Before I lived here though, I lived in Flagstaff and my job had me visiting the Grand Canyon high school, which is in the park, frequently, to the point where I stopped looking at the rim.

We used to take that trip down the switchbacks all the time. The only scary part for me was when people were passing me on some of the cozier sections.

[Aimee Greeblemonkey]

I am a huge fan of the Grand Canyon, we did a spring break trip there a few years ago. I feel like I went back without the PITA of a road trip from Denver. Thanks.

[Carol]

What constitutes OLD?

[Brenda]

don't you feel lucky not to have rock scrapes on your car from the drive to Sedona. lovely as the red rocks are.Glad you made it back safely. Love the Grand Canyon.

[nonsoccermom]

And this is why I will never go to the Grand Canyon. I am sure it is breathtaking, but since I suffer from a paralyzing fear of heights, there is no way I would enjoy such a trip.

In fact, looking at that picture of Dave is making me very nervous.

[Julia]

I'm just really happy that Lady Gaga is playing in the background of that video

[emmysuh]

I AM scared of heights and I know exactly what you're talking about, I get UPSET if people get too close to edges. Not just me, but PLEASE PLEASE SISTER/MOM/BOYFRIEND/FRIEND JUST BACK UP A LITTLE BIT PLEASEEEE

[Kristen]

So, the picture of your husband at the edge of the ledge actually made me throw up in my mouth a little, and my heart was racing the entire time I read about the HEIGHT and the CLIFFS and the DRIVING OH MY GOD THAT BUS.

And yes, I am terrified of heights. How on earth did you guess?

Glad you had a mostly lovely time! The pictures that don't make me feel dizzy are beautiful!