Snowed in

We got well over two feet of snow over the weekend, and we are expecting another foot or so tonight. As a result, it has been brought to my attention that large quantities of snow in an area that doesn't see much of it seems to bring out the best and worst in people. NOT THAT I HAVE GOTTEN OUT OF THE HOUSE ENOUGH TO REALLY KNOW.

Grocery stores are good examples of this. Have you ever been to a grocery store a few hours before a giant snowstorm? On one hand, there's this general sense of camaraderie, a kind of we're-in-this-together mentality. People are striking up conversations in line and making jokes at the deli counter. The cashiers are complaining lightheartedly about the crowds and I even got some clearly-meant-to-be-friendly-but-just-sounded-bizarre advice while glancing over the hot cocoa section from a woman who clutched my arm, then leaned in close to my ear and whispered, “My kids like to mix the chocolate and the strawberry.”

Oh ha HA HA, how clever your children are, lady whose BREATH I CAN FEEL ON MY NECK.

Anyway, the grocery store seems all well and good and downright JOVIAL until you and someone else are both closing in on the last gallon of milk, because suddenly the same person who smiled and politely said “excuse me” while passing you in the soup aisle is ready to bludgeon you with a carton of orange juice and then suffocate you in an open bag of corn tortillas.

(My friend Christie ended up with FOUR GALLONS of milk in her fridge before the last storm hit. Not because she thought she'd USE four gallons of milk over the course of three or four days. Because this kind of crazy paranoia hits you in the grocery store when you're stocking up before a Big Weather Event and the shelves haven't yet been stripped bare. I didn't ask her, but I'm willing to bet she downsized to those four gallons. Ten bucks says she put at least one gallon back on the shelf. The pressure of not knowing when you'll be able to get out to the store again along with this feeling of COMPETITION with all the other shoppers turns normal people into complete and total FOOD HOARDERS. So Christie has four gallons of milk in her fridge and has to use her back patio as her auxiliary refrigerator. If you find yourself in my neighborhood, I know exactly where we can go to bum a few ice-cold Mountain Dews.)

Another good example is communal shoveling. We share a parking lot with at least 15 other homes, so after the snow blows over and the skies clear, everyone is out in the street clearing off their cars and their sidewalks. That part is kind of nice – you end up talking to neighbors you never see, and everyone kind of helps each other out and you pretend that it doesn't bother you that your next-door neighbor's dog has taken an enormous dump right next to your deck every morning for the last eight months. So Dave shoveled out both of our cars, then went back out the next day and shoveled out our 80-years-old-with-a-newly-installed-pacemaker neighbor's, too. Somebody else did the sidewalk in front of our house and someone else made a nice path to the mailbox cluster.

But there's this unwritten rule about parking lots and spaces after big snowstorms: If you do the work, you can claim the spot. Until it's melted.

And Dave came home last night to find someone in ours. GASP!

I'm all level-headed about it, right? I'm all, “Go door-to-door, and find the dude, and tell him you shoveled out the space and ask him to move his car. Can he say no to your face? And tell him he can park behind you.” I'm SO NICE, you guys. I mean, how do we know what this guy's deal is? Maybe he's visiting his girlfriend, and her mom just died, and he was in a rush and took the first parking spot he could find so he could CONSOLE HER and anyway, what if he has his own GARAGE or something, and ritzy garage-owning people don't know about the Law of Shoveling. Right?

But Dave's got steam coming out of his ears, because this is something people should just KNOW, OKAY? Like the Law of Shoveling is something you're BORN WITH, much like the way an infant knows how to find a NIPPLE. So out loud, Dave is considering all manner of things, none of which are what I suggested. No, he is suggesting getting out his nine-iron or leaving a note that starts with “Dear [VERY BAD WORD].” And THEN this morning as he is leaving for work and leaving me without a car and in this tiny tiny house with these two pesky offspring who are SLOWLY KILLING ME WITH THEIR DEMANDS FOR FOOD AND ENTERTAINMENT, he says, “Keep an eye on that parking spot. If that guy leaves, I might come home so I can get the space back.”

I don't know if you have ever been snowed in with two small children and have been, for the most part, sitting in the same room for four straight days, but the idea that my husband would leave work to claim a PARKING SPACE and not because I AM GOING TO DIE OF CHILDREN POISONING makes me want to stab him with an icicle.

The guy ended up moving his car about an hour ago, but I am still bitter. I have my icicle all picked out, just in case. Either that, or I'm going to continue with my plan to make this for dinner and not let him eat any of it.

Comments

[Life of a Doctor's Wife]

Being snowed in with two small children - even if you LOVE THEM VERY MUCH as I know you do - sounds kind of hellacious.

Despite living in snowy areas my whole life, I did not know about this Law of Shoveling. Glad to be informed now so no one bashes my car in with a nine iron!

Hang in there and try to avoid icicle murder if at all possible.

[Ashley, the Accidental Olympian]

The most fun I ever had was standing on an ice covered hill helping ridiculous WA drivers turn their cars back around after attempting the scale the CLOSED ROAD.

Even though we were laughing at their ignorance it was a blast to push cars around with our neighbors in the snow.

Then once it melted I went back to hating them of course.

Good luck with that snowstorm. Oh, and take solace in knowing they can't fingerprint a melted icicle weapon.

[Becky]

OMG I totally relate on the parking-spot-digging-out thing. My husband once spent hours digging our cars out of their spots on the street, only to have our neigbors' young, strapping son park in the newly dug spot. J could have killed him. Later that winter I read about someone who got shot for that offense & I was like "Yep, that sounds about right."

Even in decent weather, my husband is a freak about his street parking spots & gets majorly irritated when his gets taken. He will spend the day obsessively looking out the windows, and the minute the offending car leaves, he is out the door to reclaim his spot. If we go to bed & he hasn't gotten the spot back yet, he will check when he gets up to go to the bathroom and will go out at 2AM if necessary. It's so crazy.

[kris]

People ARE born understanding the Law of Shoveling. If they aren't, their mamas didn't raise them right and probably let them watch Falcon Crest before they were old enough. Scientific fact or something like that.

[Krista]

Make the lasagna... I'm telling you, it will cure your snow-crazed funk and bring peace to your home. Yes, it is that good.

[Sincerely, Jenni]

I've been living under a rock, apparently. I was not aware of the Law of Shoveling. Thankfully, I have always had a driveway or garage of my own, and have not had to worry about a parking spot.

And if I had to be cooped up with my kids for more then a day, I'd turn into that crazy old woman that mumbles to herself as she shuffles through the Wal-Mart.

[Megan]

That dude would have been EATEN ALIVE in Chicago. People are downright territorial about that kind of stuff; if you want to die in your sleep, you steal someone's parking spot that they painstakingly spent an hour shoveling out.

[Danell]

Even without The Law, I do not understand why you would not know to NOT park in a shoveled out parking spot...I mean, would you just be driving along and think "Look! Someone shoveled this spot JUST FOR ME!" Do people think that there are parking space gnomes that come out and shovel a single spot out just for you if you wish it hard enough? I don't know.

Anyway, CHILDREN POISONING is absolutely hilarious and I may be suffering from a touch of it myself since Husband is in Houston for a week...where IT IS NOT SNOWING.

[mrsmichellesmith]

In Boston, we have the tradition of "marking our spot" after we dig it out. Here's a photo gallery of some of the things that people use to mark them. We traditionally used old, broken chairs and trash cans in my house. It's funny... the old broken chairs would be in the cellar and my dad would always warn not to throw them out by mistake, "they're the spot mahkahs" he would say.

http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/gallery/saving_spaces_after_storms/

[Raven]

I have never lived in a land of snow, so I am not aware of the Law, but I do know common decency and sense. I don't think some snow shoveling faerie just shows up and clears spaces for people, if you didn't do the work, you don't get the space. HELLO?!?!

That would totally make me STABBY.

[Michelle]

So I always buy 4 gallons of milk at the grocery store. Is that weird?? But I only go to the grocery store once a week, and we drink a lot of milk.

[chrystal]

I completely agree with you on the Law of Parking Spots - once you've shoveled a spot out, it's yours! On my street (in DC), people put milk crates and garbage cans in their spot so no one else can take it. Seems to be working so far...

[Holly]

Call it a character flaw, but parking drama makes me absolutely flip my lid. I mean it tickles some primal territorial bone in me that just Unleashes The Beast. Your calmness is admirable. :)
My best friend from high school and I ended up living together in college and actually STOPPED BEING FRIENDS over a parking space issue because she was not following the (very similar set of) RULES (and also we were living in Los Angeles where a good parking space will bring you tears). I would like to tell you I miss that friendship, but when I look back on it all I can think of is that I would do it again if confronted with the same parking connundrum. I'm stubborn like that.

Don't mess with the mama bears cubs and don't EVER mess with somebody else's parking space. Words to live by, I say. :)

[Nicol]

Maybe it's just something back east, but I live in an area that has a winter full of snow. School only close down if we get several feet at once, never over a few inches like some places. I have never heard the snow shoveling rule.

[Kate]

Four gallons of milk is nothing; I was at Costco picking up a few things for my mom before the storm and a lady in one of the other lines had at least 8 gallons of milk on the bottom of her cart. There was also a woman whose cart consisted of 12 dozen croissants and 3 bottles of carrot juice which was just weird.

[Shelly]

I may be dying of child poisoning as well. I am certain tomorrow will be another snow day, thus upping the odds I fling myself off the roof in an attempt to find peace and quiet.

We don't have as much snow as you do, but I've found that being snowbound has made me ravenously hungry for junky/snacky/there is nothing else I can do, so I may as well stuff my piehole/food.

[A'Dell]

You know, I envisioned you dying of a lot of things this weekend, but I have to admit that the nefarious affliction of child poisoning never crossed my mind.

And I am with Dave on the parking spot shit - unless the WHOLE parking lot has been shoveled, it is a total ass thing to park your car in a space that you did not shovel. ESPECIALLY when there has been that much snow and it's very clear that someone shoveled it (and it wasn't you).

Just give him his due this summer. Cover his AC unit with a blanket so he can reverse suffer.

[beyond]

drool! make the lasagna!
apparently we're getting snowed in starting at 4am tomorrow morning. i didn't even go to the store for any food because i like living on the wild side. (and also because i don't have little mouths to feed.)

[LooneyJenn]

I feel like the children's whining, demanding, and overall insanity level increases in direct proportion to how much snow is on the ground and how impossible it is to leave.

Children poisoning happening here with three. Sheesh.

If you do stab him with the icicle, it'll melt and thus, no murder weapon to convict. See what you learn from watching re-runs of bad TV dramas?

It just broke my heart that I can't make that lasagna because BLAST IT ALL TO HELL, I don't have all the ingredients, despite the frantic pre-storm scramble/throwdown in the grocery store.

[joaaanna]

Maybe because I'm from the Midwest and we are spread out all over the place... but I'm confused.

You have a house, but use a parking lot? With 15 other homes? How far away from your house? Do you have to lug your groceries and stuff from the parking lot? And if Dave shoveled out both of your cars, how did he leave you without a car the next morning?

I'm sorry - I am completely cracking up trying to figure this whole situation out. I'm just a Kansas girl and your East Coast ways frighten and confuse me. (Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer... sorry)

[Parsing Nonsense]

Wow, y'all have been snowed in for awhile now. Sounds like ALL KINDS OF SPECIAL FUN with two bored children!

I totally get Dave's rage though. I get like that too when people ignore the rules of common decency. The common rules. That should be known and followed at all times. Because they're common, for crying out loud!

[Snowed in]

It's wrong, but it's legal, to take a shoveled out parking space.

http://fredericksburg.com/News/FLS/2010/022010/02102010/526914

In fact if you mark a space in DC, they can fine you.

http://www.wtop.com/?nid=25&sid=1846935

[Jacqueline]

Dave could have just shoveled all the snow back into/around the parking space so the guy couldn't get back out. Sure, it would have taken some time, but I bet the look on that guy's face would have been priceless when he came out to leave in his car. I'm pretty sure that would be my solution if I was presented with that dilemma.

[Lacey]

Did you make that lasagna for dinner? I have made it before. It was good, but I have made other lasagna's I liked better.

[Lacey]

I grew up and went to college in MI, on the west side of the state where there is this wonderful phenomenon known as Lake Effect Snow. That means that sometimes, it will snow WITHOUT A SINGLE CLOUD IN THE SKY. At one of my apartments in college, I paid very good money all year for the luxury of a carport for the winter months. One time, we got about a foot and a half of snow while I was at class and came home in my low-to-the-ground Toyota Camry, blissfully happy to have a carport, since it was still snowing, only to find someone else parked in my spot. And you want to know what I did? I parked behind them and went up to my apartment, which had a parking lot view, and I called the towing company. And I waited an hour, with my car parked illegally behind that stupid buick lesabre for the tow truck. Yes, it's weirdly obsessive. But I PAID for my spot and someone still took it. When did people develop this perverse sense of entitlement?!