We don't use the word "pervy" enough, in my opinion

I spent this morning at the Newseum with Lori. And you know what? No one asked me any weird questions when I mentioned I needed to find a babysitter for the day so I could meet my friend from the Internet down in the big city. ALONE. Oh, didn't I tell you about that? A few months ago when I was headed out to the Blathering, Dave thought he was being funny when he mentioned to our couples' small group that I was going out of town to meet people from the Internet, people I'd NEVER MET BEFORE, who said they were young moms but who would likely turn out to be old pervy 60-year-old men. And I know Dave was joking, and I know he never thought I was in any danger of thinking I'd be meeting Manda and coming face to face with, I don't know, Rodney Dangerfield or something, but people who don't blog or read blogs or know anything about the Blogging Community (oh barfity barf barf) immediately assume a blog is the '90s equivalent of a random chat room and I'm pretty sure they all thought I would board that plane to Sacramento, never to return again, except possibly dismembered and in a styrofoam cooler.

But obviously, I survived Sacramento (no, wait, Sacramento survived ME), so I think everyone trusts my judgment now, for the most part. No one said anything about Lori or whether it might be weird to meet someone whose VOICE I've never even heard before, and just as I expected, it was perfectly normal and we talked the whole time about things we would never tell the Internet and we shared a huge chocolate chip cookie at lunch and we laughed and I was further convinced that I would very much like Lori to live right next door to me, and not just because she has a lot of books I want to borrow.

And everything went well on my commute home until I got off the bus and started the half-mile walk to my house, which is when I had to call Dave and make him stay on the phone with me while I attempted to pass a very drunk man staggering down the sidewalk in front of me. I just don't see a lot of drunk, staggering men out here in the suburbs, ESPECIALLY not at two in the afternoon. And this guy wasn't just weaving. I witnessed a total collapse on the sidewalk THREE SEPARATE TIMES, and twice I saw him TEETERING and on the very brink of falling into the path of oncoming traffic and I almost couldn't bring myself to walk past him because I was pretty sure he was going to topple over and land on me and I didn't want to get my new pink coat dirty when I fell off the curb. I guess I was also worried that he'd grope me or something. But okay, I was way more worried about my coat. Things I Don't Want On My New Pink Coat: chewing gum, dog hair, TIRE TRACKS.

Yeah, I bought a pink coat. I have always professed to hate pink, to LOATHE pink, and I even refused to give into the Girly Pinkness when I found out Lucy was to be a she, so her nursery was decorated in yellow and green, which I think just about killed my mother. But the coat! I found it at the J. Crew outlet a couple weeks ago and the fit is perfect and it has these adorable pleats in the back and I wanted a BRIGHTLY COLORED coat, so pink it is. I like it, okay? I LIKE IT. And this is as good a time as ever, I guess, to go ahead and tell you that I'm now contributing over at Style Lush along with a bunch of talented bloggers who I know and love, so I hope you'll stop by over there and check things out. I've written only two posts so far, but I hope to post a couple of times a week from here on out. I confess, I have never thought of myself as a stylish person (AND STILL DON'T, although you should see my coat!), but Jennie has a way with flattery, and I could not resist. Look up “peer pressure” in the dictionary, and BEHOLD! A photo of ME.

And now it's 10pm and I have to go to bed because Lucy, as delightful and wonderful and scrumptious as she is when the sun is up, is still absolutely craptastic at sleeping even though we are three weeks shy of her first birthday. Right now I am thinking about how much I would like to kick my pediatrician, the first person of many who told me that if I just managed to cut out that middle-of-the-night feeding, she'd start sleeping through. Oh HA HA HA, and also SUCK IT. Lucy hasn't had a bottle in the middle of the night for more than 10 days now, and yet she still wakes up two, three, four times a night most nights, and sometimes (and this is the HONEST TO GOD TRUTH) all she wants us to do is flip her over. Like, seriously, I'll go in there when I hear the screaming and she'll be lying on her back in the middle of the crib with her eyes closed, and all I have to do is flip her onto her belly and she goes back to sleep. Also HA HA HA to all of you “why don't you just let her cry?” people, because I DID LET HER CRY the other night, I let her cry and moan for TWO WHOLE HOURS and she never gave up until I went in and flipped her over, and then? SILENCE. People! This is an 11-month-old who has been walking for well over two MONTHS now, and she can't roll over in her own bed? I mean, HONESTLY. She's a stubborn little mule, that one, and at this point I am just plodding alongside her, waiting for her to make up her own mind about sleep and how it is actually glorious and wonderful and while I wait patiently for that moment, I am dreaming up all kinds of ways to get her back for this someday. I promise you it will not involve a dead squirrel. 

Have a really happy Thanksgiving everyone. Wishing you safe travels and good pie and the bigger half of the wishbone.

Comments

[Beth Fish]

Someday, when you are feeling strong, I will tell you when my children started sleeping through the night with some regularity. And by "children" I mean "the one who actually does it" not "the almost two year old who is still responsible for the bags under my eyes." It will either make you feel better about yourself or suck your will to live - hard to say, really.

[Aunt Becky]

I would like to hear more about this coat.

And sleep? There's plenty of that when I'm dead. My children hate it and hate it when I want it, so they make sure I don't have it so what I am saying is that I am sorry and that missing out on sleep is terrible.

Also? What? Was I talking? I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE.

[Tiah]

Why did you not include the photo of coat with story?

[Amy --- Just A Titch]

Sacramento definitely survived you. And seriously, had I been able to keep you contained in a small cooler to STAY WITH ME HERE, I would have done it. This is the creepiest comment ever. You're welcome. Heh.

[Angella]

If you ever want to talk about babies that SUCK at sleeping around the one-year mark, email me. Seriously. I have been there. Three times, no less.

And now? SLEEP FOR EVERYONE. Except for me, because I wake up at 6am for NO REASON WHATSOEVER.

Jennie asked me to guest post at StyleLush (Yay!) and I can't wait to do so. You know, once I get caught up.

(2010? Maybe?)

[barbetti]

Hahahah, I remember you telling us that story, I think at dinner, about Dave telling everyone you were meeting people from "The Internet." Soooo elusive and mysterious.

And if someone had taken the time to return you, back on that plane, dismembered and in a cooler, I would kind of be impressed at their...compassion?

Also, I would like to see this coat. Very much. Perhaps I'll like a pink coat, too, then.

[jonniker]

I have alllll kinds of fantasies about what I'm going to do to Sam when she's a teenager to make up for all this lack of sleep. I have grand plans of going in there with an air horn every 45 minutes for three months straight.

[She Likes Purple]

I'm putting "good at flattery" on my resume, but it's really easy to do flatter someone when you've seen their stylishness in person. I'm on the prowl for a purple coat. I want one so badly, I'm getting out on Black Friday to find one. That's serious coat devotion, right there.

[Jen L.]

My great-grandpa's name was Pervie (with an ie). We're so proud.

[Karen]

You're going to hate me, but Lucy sounds just like my youngest. He had a rough infancy due to a medical misdiagnosis and unneccessary medication; he was taking bottles at night until he was 18 months old. Even after we stopped those, nights were bad. He's nearly three and ONLY RECENTLY has stopped moaning in the middle of the night and waking me up. Why did he moan?

a) He was not under his covers and couldn't figure out how to get back under his covers on his own.

b) He tossed his blankie out of the bed and didn't know where it was.

c) The light in his closet was too bright.

d) The light in his closet wasn't bright enough.

e) He watched something on TV that day that scared him later.

For a while there I was borderline psychotic, tired of getting woken up at 2 am for any of these random reasons. I was actually telling him at bedtime, "No waking Mommy up!" Finally my husband pointed out that perhaps the power of suggestion was working against me.

I stopped mentioning it; I'd simply say, "See you in the morning," at bedtime. Then, if he had a good night, he was praised to the heavens and we wrote a smiley face on the white board in the kitchen for him. If he had a bad night, it wasn't even mentioned the next morning. My psych degree came in handy; positive reinforcement and extinction of undesired behaviors through lack of attention worked. Now once in a while i'll hear him moan but he puts himself back to sleep. *cue Hallelujah chorus*

I guess I'm trying to say that yes, it sucked, but hopefully we figured it out and maybe when Lucy's a bit older, what worked for us will work for you. Some kids are just rotten sleepers and take longer to learn how to put themselves back to sleep.

As my grandma said once when she was constipated, "This too shall pass."

[Mrs. D]

Why is there such a cavernous divide between Real Live People and People of the Internet? Seems like there are ten gajillion bloggers out there, but no one I know IRL seems to understand the concept of blogging, let alone why anyone would do it.

To echo other readers - would love to see the coat!

[Amanda]

The more I meet my internet friends the more I want to meet. They are the best.

[Liz]

I think internet friends are the best. I'm meeting up with two of them this weekend when we head down to So Cal for Thanksgiving. My husband still gets nervous about it, but most of my blog friends are on my facebook now too & I can't imagine that some pervy old guy could manage to fake an entire facebook page, with comments and all!

[Kerri Anne]

Hurrah! for drinking the Style Lush Kool-Aid. It's tasty, stylish Kool-Aid and it goes well with a variety of snacks. Also vodka. Not that I'm drinking any of that right now, nope.

(But seriously, I love having a place where I can wax poetic about ridiculously awesome stationery and etsy prints. GAME ON.)

[valtrex]

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but I would like to find some more information ..
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